[Late Bloomer]

Hi all,

I'd like some feedback on bedtime prayers (without getting sidetracked on a discussion about religion, if possible). Our newly adopted 8-yr-old doesn't seem to like saying his bedtime prayer, although I was told he was pretty religious. When I'd remind him he'd either shake his head, or mumble it so I could not understand it. So I asked his foster mom what prayer he said. She said "The usual one, Now I lay me down to sleep," and when I jumped in with "I pray the Lord my soul to keep," she said "yes, that one." So I thought we were on the same page. But the next two lines he says, when I finally got him to say them clearly, are not what I grew up with. The one I grew up with continues with "God be with me through the night, and bless me with the morning light." But the one one our little boy says goes, "If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take." I remember this was also the case with two foster children we had a few years ago. So maybe it's more common than I realize? I don't want to overreact, but it seems like a disturbing thought to plant in a child's mind right before bed. I am curious how any others who may feel this way might handle something like this. Thanks!

[pez collector]

That was the way I was taught as a child (1970's) to say the prayer. When our bio son (8 years old) was little, we changed the prayer to edit out "If I die before, I wake". As a child, it did not bother me, but as a parent, I think that it is scary.
I would talk to him about your feelings about the parts that you do not like and come up with a new version together. Congratulations on your adoption! God Bless.

[kay]

I said the "if I should die before I wake" as a child, too. Now it bothers me a bit, but it never did when I was a child. Maybe you can make up your own standard prayer, together - either by changing the last lines of that one, or by coming up with something completely different. If you like this one, you could help him to change the last lines by telling him "this is how we say it in our home" and maybe explain why you like it better. I like the idea of doing the same thing every night, with an addition of "God bless xxxx" afterwards; I think the routine is helpful in calming them down and readying them for sleep. Maybe something based on Psalm 121?

[spaypets]

Don't ask me how a nice Jewish girl knows this prayer, but I do:

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake.
I pray the Lord my soul to take.

My point being that if _I_ know this by heart, it must have been pretty common in the early 70s. I thought it was creepy then and I still do, but hey, not my prayer! (there's also the image forever burned in my brain, from a religious book at the dentists office of a sick boy sleeping with his hand raised so Jesus could take it when he died). I did wonder why Christians were so obsessed with dead kids!

[rysmom]

My son has a teddy bear that says this when you squeeze his belly...

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
To let angels watch me through the night
And keep me in their blessed sight.

I too, was brought up with the "if I should die" one. I like this one much better!!

Kathi

[Late Bloomer]

I did recite the version I grew up with for him, and at first he just shook his head and didn't want to say either one. But the other night he started saying "our" version with me, even finishing it when I left off. Guess these adjustments all just take time. My DH says not to force it. But since this is adoption rather than fostering, I do feel it's important to share what I feel about it. It is relaxing to me to have a bedtime routine and I always found our version of the prayer comforting, feeling I would be protected through the night. And the "bless So-and-so" part for the family and anyone else on my mind has always helped relieve any worries I had about others. It was an eye opener to find out how common the other version of the prayer is, though! Thanks for your feedback.

[Kerbchek]

"Guide me safely through the night,
and wake me with the morning light."

That's how I learned the prayer... I think the "if I should die..." part of the prayer scared my mother more than anything!!!

best wishes!

[JewelMarie]

I too grew up with the old version, which I never liked. But thanks to you all, I now have three versions.

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
"Guide me safely through the night,
and wake me with the morning light."

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
To let angels watch me through the night
And keep me in their blessed sight.

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
"God be with me through the night,
and bless me with the morning light."


My suggestion would be to print it off, show the child and ask them what they think about the prayers they say. An 8 year old now adjusting to a new home can't handle too many changes at once, much like an infant. They have the intelligence to make decision. Personally, I would have a discussion with the child, show them the different prayers, including the one they say and talk about how they feel about trying different versions. Make this something they want to do, and not just you. After all, in the grand spectum of things, this is one of the ways they start developing their relationship with God. You are doing an awesome job parenting and guiding them.

Jewel.

[1of2moms]

Another non-Christian popping in- I too knew the "before I die"version of the prayer, though I do like some of the other ones here much better.

We had a similar issue with dinner prayers with our fson. We say our blessing in Hebrew and for a while we took turns. Most nights we would say our Hebrew blessing and sometime our fson would say "thank you for the food, Jesus Christ amen". After a while he asked if we could say the Hebrew blessing in English (Blessed are you Lord our G-d, King of the Universe, creator of bread of the earth). So then we would alternate in Englisha and Hebrew. Now we only say it in Hebrew, along with other blessings in Hebrew.

I think that as prayers of often things of both routine and also comfort, it is best to go at a pace the children are comfortable with. And it sounds like your son is making the transition at a rate that he can cope with. I hope it continues to go well for you.

[Late Bloomer]

Now he's automatically using the new closing lines "God be with me through the night, and bless me with the morning light", PLUS, after the list of "God blesses", he ends with another "Bless me with the morning light", so I guess he likes that line!

Good luck with your adoption, too, 1of2moms, and thanks again everyone for the feedback!

[pez collector]

Thank you for the update. I am glad that he has made the prayer "his own". God bless.