[dawnbeth]

does anyone know of any "standards" on how children are classified as adoptable vs unadoptable.... i have run into this several times where a child has been labeled "unadoptable" and i am wondering if there is actually like a checklist or some industry wide standard among state adoption agencies..

[Cleopatrick]

I don't know, but the label makes me sick. All four of my foster to adopt kids have been labeled unadoptable. One because she was older, one due to her disabilities, and the other two because of FAS (so they say, I still don't buy it).

[Peggy]

Sometimes older children have the option to be considered for adoption or stay in long-term foster care. That is what I thought it referred to. Or if the needs were so great that they would be better met in a hospital setting. But as evidenced by Cleopatrick, I could be wrong.

[DianeS]

This one sounds like it really varies depending on the person who does the labelling. In my area, the label "unadoptable" is supposed to only be applied to children whose behaviors are so outragious the agency is not willing to accept the responsibility of placing the child into the care of anyone other than paid professionals.

In other words, "unadoptable" here should mean "not permitted to be adopted".

[dadfor2]

the label "unadoptable", i have taken to mean that a child, due to his behaviors, cannot safly live in a 'family', and probably will be in a residential group home till he/she is 18

i could be wrong, but thats what i thought it meant.

very sad...

dadfor2

[MissPeach]

Terminology used also to suggest being an only child in the Family.

I agree with Dadfor2 it is very sad!

[lucyjoy]

There are children who do not do well in families and some that do not wish to be adopted. While it is sad that so much damage was done, but forcing them into families that cannot handle doesn't fix it.

That being said, there are also kids who are classified unadoptable who can and should be adopted. I also have kids who were classified unadoptable.

[Dr. Art]

It may be the opinion of one that a child is unadoptable, but there is no such classification in Federal Family law or in the various State Family Laws.

Older children may choose not to consider adoption and opt for independent living...but there is no stamp on a file stating that a child is unadoptable and, so, cannot be selected.

[jhenrie]

We were the first family to inquire on a 5 year old girl with RAD that had been listed as legally free & available for almost a year. However, when our case worker contacted her social worker, the girl's social worker stated that the child wasn't ready for a family & that she had been premature in listing her. She promptlly removed the child from the site, & she was sent to live in a group facility. Her situation has haunted us since, & we keep watching for her to re-appear as available.

[dadfor2]

hi,

actually, the word 'unadoptable' i believe isnt really used anymore.

I do believe the term now is called 'special needs'.

I think this came about when some children had specific issues that were deemed unadoptable but in fact some parents set out looking for these type of children and have adopted them and intergrated them into a family situation.

so i do think, i could be wrong, the word 'unadoptable' was removed and now they are labeled 'special needs'.

dadfor2

[Gwen]

I live in Canada and the word unadoptable is VERY much a part of the foster care system. Aside from behaviours (which is really not the number 1 reason) is the court ruling of crown ward with access. This is ruling, in which the CW has asked the judge to have the child remain in care (for whatever reason), never return home for good, and keep in contact with the bio family. (that could be weekly, monthly or on special occasions.)
I have had several children (mostly teens, although this judgement has been made on all ages) who will stay in fcare forever (or til 18) and never fully be connected to ONE family.
Talk about a screwed up mess. No real family, always divided loyalty and a breeding ground for attachement issues. Hey, the do however get the opprutunity to have their lives paid for. (please note scarcasm!!!!)
This type of ruling is based more on the needs to keep the child/bio family in contact instead of the behaviour of the child.
I agree EVERY CHILD should have the chance of a FOREVER family!!!

[jhenrie]

Another interesting aspect of such situations is that some lawsuits have recently been filed (& won) by former foster children...charging that the state didn't give them a reasonable chance for permenancy. Afterall, don't owe it to these kids to at least TRY? Where's the logic in saying, "We're not going to try because we might fail."? Isn't that the opposite of what we try to instill in our children? Maybe we should send the DCFS offices a copy of the Little Engine That Could <tongue in cheek>.

[DianeS]

dadfor2, the words "special needs" and "unadoptable" in my area are very different.

The 8 year old with nightmares, ADHD, learning disabilities, and a 7 year old brother is "special needs".

A 17 year old who just got convicted of murder for killing his foster sister and shooting at the ambulance workers who responded is "unadoptable". The state agency refuses to place him.

[Voidra]

Both of our children came from medical foster care and both were considered special needs and 'unadoptable'. I was told by the GAL that an 'unadoptable' classification depends on what the child's long term plan is.

Our son has spina bifida and everything that goes with it. Severe delays because of parental drug use, etc..etc.. I met him during the filming of a video that I did about a year and half ago and it was love at first site. As I got to know his former foster mother, who has been doing medical foster care for 30 years, she told me that he was called a 'throwaway child'. That term really sickens me just to type it. To make a looong story short, what God didn't give our son in legs he sure made up for in love and personality. I'd take four more just like him!!

Our little girl was born at 27 weeks and died..she was resusitated and the lack of oxygen left her with a very mild case of CP. She walks like a little ballerina! Her head was very miss-shaped and the agency actually tried to place her in an adoptive home one time and the family sent her back in one day saying that she cried too much and her head was to big. IMO, she was terrified and needed to be snuggled - it works here.

To make another long story short, she has grown into her head beautifully and is walking on her feet now at 15 months. She took her first steps alone yesterday. She is also gifted with a loving personality that leaves us glowing everytime we look at her. She is one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen.

I have often told the caseworkers that when we are ready for another child we want to meet the 'unadoptable' children first.

In our area a child can be special needs and not unadoptable but an unadoptable child is always classified as special needs. It boils down to what the individuals come up with in the childs case plan. It's actually pretty scary.

[dadfor2]

i agree dorothy,

the term 'unadoptable' means squash. when i mentioned special needs, which are 'our kids', they were not considered 'unadoptable'.


the reason i mentioned that they dont use that word anymore, is because every kid is adoptable (if they want to be). maybe it is different from state to state.

special needs cover a wide range of children and their issues. I think any child that is not adopted as an infant, might even be considered 'speical needs', but thats my own personall belief, any child that was removed from their birth parents, will have feelings about that.

diane, as for the teen murdering his foster family and shooting at the ambulance driver, is not about special needs, or adoption, or unadoptable, its about a serious mentally ill teenager.

birth or adopted...the child would not be in any family. i believe quite different then what we are talking about here.

in the past they have labled kids unadoptable for whatever reason they saw fit, when in fact, some of the kids could of flourished in a family.

so i believe the state, our state, took out the term 'unadoptable' and placed 'special needs' due to the range it covers.

here, thats why they have disclosure meetings, to let the adopted parents know everything about the child before the child is placed.

dadfor2