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Originally Posted By sunny

I am wondering if anyone has any advice on handling the adoption of a 17 year old in foster care. Her foster family cannot adopt her because of other family issues. Do we start the foster/adopt process now or do we wait until she is 18 and no longer a foster child? Foster family has made clear she can no longer live there when assistance runs out. She is a fabulous kid! Good grades, good attitude, strong morals! WE are concerned that by the time adoption process takes place she'll already be 18 and free to leave current home anyway.

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Originally Posted By Cheryl

I can only tell you what I know from experience. We adopted a 17 year old last year, adoption was finalized this spring. She turned 18 prior to finalizing the adoption. Because of this she was required to sign the adoption papers along with us. Prior to coming to us she had enrolled in a skilled living program. This would keep her in the system until she turned 21. The state would send her to college etc. She could work etc... Her other choice was to be emancipated at 18 and be released from the system. She chose to have a permanent family instead of being in the system until 21.

We adopted a 4 year old 3 years ago. The last foster parents he had became licensed just so they could take care of him. The already knew him. He was with them for 14 months prior to being placed with us.

I think you need to talk with the child and see exactly what she wants. You as a foster family, a permanent family, maybe being emancipated at 18 and then all of you go see a lawyer and formally adopt her. The system will not throw her out at 18. Obviously the foster parents she has will though. Talk with her social workers etc to see what her choices are. She should be able to request to be moved and adopted. You will need to go through the approval process though.

Hope this helped. Keep us posted. Good luck.

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Originally Posted By sunny

Thanks for the advice. It looks like we'll be jumping in feet first with this child. I am a litle hesitant about asking her what she wants right now though. Even though I know it needs to be done, I'm afraid it will make the time until adoption alot more difficult or her. I see it needs to be done. Could timing be a factor here-or is the most important thing just to start the process? Does anyone know what the average attorney fee is for a situation like this? That is, adopting a child who is already 18.

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Originally Posted By Cheryl

Hi, In our state when a foster child is placed for adoption the Attorney General's Office has already terminated parental rights (TPR). Or the last court date is near and the other court appearances do not indicate the child will go back with the family. The child is placed in the home of the family wishing to adopt and at that time the "trial/waiting period" begins. Here it is a minimum of 6 months. When the social worker recommends the adoption be finalized we receive a letter from DHS indicating that we need to acquire an attorney. I also tells the attorney the steps he/she needs to take to get the necessary records for DHS . Also, the agreement at that point is that because this is just a formality (the hard part has been done during TPR courts) DHS will only pay $500.00 to finalize. The attorney agrees to this, requests paperwork from DHS, receives the paperwork in a matter of a few days. Then the petition for adoption is written up and we sign it. Then a court date is set. It is easy in our county because the Chancery Court Judge also has an adopted child. Our daughter had to sign the petition and decree because she was already 18. As for assistance, hers continues as long as she stays in school or turns 21. New law. In this state if you adopt a child that is 15 years or older you receive adoption assistance. Otherwise the younger children, I guess, just are not as expensive to maintain!!! I guess if the child has severe disabilites then the assistance issue would be different. Hope this helps.

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Originally Posted By Lynn

My parents are looking to adopt an older boy, 14-16. They are in their early fifties..is this a problem factor and where should they start? The only requirements they do have is that there is no mental problems leading to violent behavior etc. Is there a legal site thay can check on the laws for their state as far as the Foster care system etc goes

Thank you

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Originally Posted By sunny

WE have found ourselves in unique position, adoption was never a consideration for our family as we have four children already. And yet here is this great teen in need of a permanent family! We feel we are starting this process backwards. Cheryl, your advice has been very helpful and encouraging. Our teen's agency has agreed to ask her if she'd like our family to adopt her. Wish us luck! Has anyone else out there had this happen to them?
Thanks all,
sunny

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Originally Posted By linna

I am so glad to see someone else looking at the older kids. We are looking at a 16yo girl with attachment disorder Any advice or pointers would be appriciated

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Originally Posted By Cat

Here's my advise. Mine were 11 & 12 when adopted. Set up as much support as possible for everyone, learn as much as you can about her issues and find GOOD therapists. This includes having someone who can take care of her while you get a break.

Good luck. I wish you the best. I adore my girls BUT would not with them on my worst enemy!