[Dakota72]

I know counties were changed but does anyone else know if any other info was changed from the original bc in NC. Is it possible that birth dates were changed?

Dakota72

[Brx]

Very doubtful. It's one thing to change location, but a completely different for altering the date.

[Dakota72]

I didn't figure so either. I was just thinking by a day or two. I have all the birth index info but can not find a match by verifying the age of the mother. Only one I can find that age is married. I have found one that could be a match if it wasn't for the age of the mother. I guess she could have lied. But it looks like the age on the bc and the non-id from the agency would be the same.

[BrandyHagz]

Anything is possible…and in most cases it depends on the agency or attorney.

My birth date was changed by three days…

If Catholic Charities was involved in your adoption, then I wouldn’t rule out a date change.

[Dakota72]

My husbands adoption was done thru the Children's Home Society of NC

[Brx]

Are you working with someone in post-adoption with CHS? I found them quite helpful and honest while searching. I'll look back through my records, but there's something about how things are coded if the birth date was unsure - oh, I can't remember. Let me look - my birth father age was not recorded on the index (coded as a OO maybe) although CHS had his age. Where's Lucadabrasi when you need him???

[Dakota72]

I have the fathers age as well, but according to CHS they were not married and the only age matches in the birth index the couple were married. No we haven't talked to post adoption.

[Brx]

I don't know how recently you've obtained non-id, but I got details that were new to me and enabled me to close in on my bfamily within days and enabled me to save the thousands of dollars a nearby search firm wanted to do the same. As well, when you have questions, they are extremely helpful at providing "clarity." Edith Votta was who I worked with.

[beachallie]

I talked to Edith Votta today for the first time and she was wonderful. She seemed like she honestly cared and seemed like she hated the fact that she couldn't give me the information I was seeking. It's really frustrating to know that she could have my file sitting wide open on her desk, but because of the bureaucracy of NC, she can't tell me anything..about ME!

A question for Brx:
Do you know what additional information the people from Post-Adoption @ CHS can give? I received my non-id about two months ago and Mrs. Votta told me that my mother stayed in a home before my birth when I talked to her today on the phone. I was wondering what other questions I could ask her to get more information.

Thanks so much
Allie

[Brx]

I can relate - I have uttered those exact words. It was always so bitter sweet to talk with Edith because she's so helpful, yet my file was under her nose. I have since met her and she wants nothing more than to be helpful.

There were numerous things I needed to know from CHS for myself - none of it rocket science. And when more questions came to mind, I'd call her again. As it turned out, some of their information was inaccurate only because my bfamily had never updated their information. But here's my list:
*Religion (this was what ultimately made the connection because my bgrandfather is a Presbyterian minister, so once I had narrowed it down, I called the Presbytery USA.
*Did my bparents marry? Were there other children?
*Bparents careers (this was much more specifically detailed than in my 1968 non-id)
*Did bfather know bmom was pregnant? Did bmom hold me?
*Birth weight and time of birth? Details of delivery. Details of my time at CHS.
*Education level and degrees obtained

Also, there were some details in the non-id that were worded oddly and I couldn't understand, so she helped me interpret was was meant.

Keep me posted and let me know if I can help! As difficult as the past year has been in some ways, every moment was worth it. I have a peace that I would have never known. I have looked in my bmothers eyes and seen my reflection - despite her checkered past - it's worth it all!

[beachallie]

Brx: Thanks so much for those list of questions I could prod Mrs. Votta with Is it common for birth parents to update their information? I don't know why, but I have this feeling that my bmother had me and hasn't thought about it again... just as something that happened in her past. From reading posts by birth mothers, they say that they think about their reliniquished child everyday & never stopped loving them, so I know that my feelings are mixed because I feel like I'm at a brick wall in finding information..like it wasn't meant to be I guess. Needless to say, I'm not going to stop looking. Hopefully the laws in NC will change & let us know about us and where we came from..which only makes sense, but whatever.

If you think of any more questions that could be answered...I'd greatly appreciate it & thank you so much for replying to me!

Allie

[njadoptee]

There is an organization out here trying to make the necessary changes and we need members. Please visit http://adoptionreform-nc.org

Also, if a birthmother knows she can send in updated medical information, then the agency has to forward that information on to either the adult adoptee or the adoptive parents of a minor or hospitalized adoptee.

Roberta