[CeltiaSkye]

Brandy I appreciate your continuing efforts to fashion a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

[kat8eyes]

Yay Brandy for all your efforts and heart you are putting into it.
Don't know that I could do the same.

[adoptingdoc]

Is there a pre-adoptive support forum somewhere?

[BrandyHagz]

No, there is not. At this time, we will only have a post adoption support forum for the support of our GLBT adoptive parents.

[MommyBear]

Well, its a start.

Thank you, Brandy, for all you have done to sort through this mess.

[BrandyHagz]

Ok, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get back here.

Here is the plan:

There is a specific forum (this one) for GLBT Families who have already adopted. It operates much like the Transracial Adoption forums, in that by design, they are in place for post adoption support.

We do have a number of “before adoption” forums that are open for any and everyone to post on – they are specific to programs for the children, rather than the hopeful adoptive parents.

In reality, moving this forum to the appropriate place (its now part of the Adoptive parent category, rather than being stuck in the parenting category) is a step in the right direction!

This forum is for GLBT Adoptive Parent support – post adoption. GLBT members who are looking for information about adoption have the same resources available to them that all of our other members have, such as “Getting Started” and “Domestic Adoption” which are all listed under the Adoptive Parents Category.

I know that many of you are upset over the recent change…for that I’m sorry…but the recent change (minus the deleted informational threads) is actually a good one – it levels the playing field for everyone regarding their support forums.

GLBT members have unique families that face issues that other adoptive families don’t normally face – by having this forum, it offers them a place to discuss those issues with other GLBT families.

Again, I know many of you are not happy about the change…but I think with time and the upcoming changes, you’ll find that this is actually in line with all of the other forums we offer.

[cynthia900]

Brandy,

Thanks for the clarification. I don't mean to be a pain and I really appreciate the effort you are making to work this out. However, I don't understand how single parent adoption, over 40 adoption and other boards which are not post adoption only are about the children. Many of the postings on single parent adoption are about people getting started, looking for support during the process etc and not just about the issues afterwards.

I'm not sure if I should interpret your posting to mean that you are going to eliminate or move these other boards or something else. Can you please clarify for me?

I think the lack of posting here speaks to the fact that the community you are seeking to help do not find that this compromise meets their needs.

Thanks again Brandy and sorry you faced this during such a hectic and difficult time with the move and all.

Cynthia

[BrandyHagz]

Yes Cynthia, that’s exactly what it means – in the coming months, we will be working harder to make sure that each topic is placed in its appropriate forum. There are a lot of changes in store, not only for the forums here at Adoption.com, but additional forums that will be coming online.

It will be vitally important for our members to use correct thread placement – and while this is new here at Adoption.com, it is standard practice for most other forums of varying topics.

Posting a thread in the incorrect place will not be any kind of rule violation…although, habitual incorrect thread placement by the same member could result in some sort of action, if the member refuses to follow our posting guidelines.

[Spydoor]

So what this place is saying is that "while we don't support GLBT adopting children, if you happen to have already adopted then you can stay?" PLEASE tell me that I have this wrong!

[BrandyHagz]

Spy,

No, that isn't what we're saying at all - we're saying that we aren't providing pre-adoption forums for every situation - we have "Getting Started" and other forums that are specific to starting the adoption process that all members (regardless of their orientation) can use.

[jehicks]

We are a white middle class couple and our soon to be adopted son his Puerto Rican/Dominican. His background is marked with severe abuse and neglect. However, somewhere along the way he picked up very strong setiments of his Catholic upbringing- specifically against homosexuality. Any advice on how to respect the sparse memories of "upbringing" he has from his biological parents, while instilling views of greater tolerance and acceptance of all people?

[mdesi]

How old of a teen? Younger teens tend to do this not b/c of upbringing but b/c of where they are developmentally. Younger teens prefer to blend in, and do not like to be outside of the mainstream unless they choose it. (Even then, it will be a whole group mentality thing, or the teen is exceptionally mature.) They shun most things that are different, and, unfortunately, homosexuality is in that category.

That said, you (general) cannot tolerate ugly words or behaviors from them to any person or groups of people. If he is bringing in his religious upbringing as his excuse, find areas in the religion in which love for all people is the hallmark. Go back to the Golden Rule. Stand firm on your expectations of behavior and words about all people. In reality, you will be honoring his religion by doing this.

[jlo829]

To All:

My partner and I live in Texas. We have had a civil ceremony in Vermont and a "marriage" ceremony at home (wedding dresses and all). We started on the adoption trail 3 and 1/2 years ago, with our first match continuing all the way to the 48 hours we spent in the nursery with Addison (our name for her) and then the birth mother changing her mind and then further told us she never intended to place with "people like us". Needless to say we were crushed. We had given up hope when our original home study social worker told us of a just born baby girl in San Antonio with no home. This was a new agency so we had to come up with an additional $23,000 (not to mention the $20,000 we lost on the failed adoption). We begged, borrowed and came up with the money is 24 hours and now Delaney will be two in June and we are blissfully happy. We are in post adoption mode, always having questions but nowhere to go for advice...This forum is much appreciated.

Lori