[RobinR]

Hi all. I have a two month old FS (Thanks JJ for the tip!!). He is number 15 for birth mom, all of whom have been removed by DYFS because of prenatal cocaine exposure and all have been adopted. So, things look like we will be able to adopt him. Birth mom has missed the only visit ever arranged and both court hearings, including one yesterday. DYFS cannot locate the birth mother and have done a human services police investigation to try to find her with no luck.

The case worker told me the judge set another hearing for November 10th for fact finding, where DYFS lays out their case. They plan to ask for a finding of no reasonable effort. Does this mean they are going for TPR on the 10th? If so, does the judge usually rule right away?

Thanks!
Robin

[NJMama]

No, it doesnt mean they are going for TPR on the 10th. It just means that they are seeking an exception from having to use reasonable efforts to reunify, based on the prior involuntary terminations with the other children. Once that exception is granted, they are by law supposed to have the permanency hearing within 30 days thereafter. At that time, it is pretty apparent that DYFS will present the plan of TPR, and it will be approved I'm sure. After that, then DYFS has to file a new petition for TPR (the existing complaint is only for abuse/neglect). If they dont know her whereabouts, they need to do a legal search which takes at least 45 days to complete, and then they can seek to terminate even if they havent located her. In all likelihood, it will still be a couple more months before she is legally free, and then probably a few more months before the adoption can be finalized. She has to be in your home a minimum of 6 months for that to occur in any event. Sounds like there will be a happy ending coming your way though. What county is she from???

[RobinR]

NJMama,

Thanks for the info. I think they have already done the legal investigation. And I think the reasonable effort thing was more on the order of the birth mom hasn't made a reasonable effort. I thought it was a tad early for that, but I guess, based on her history, that DYFS doesn't think so. Even at the original hearing naming us the foster parents, the caseworker called me from the hearing because the judge wanted to know if we would be willing to adopt the baby if he became available.

On the other hand, the caseworker is a tad vague on the legal details, so who knows! He has been so great about everything else, so I don't push much on that side of things.

We're in Essex County and waited around almost two years before we got this little guy. Totally worth the wait!

[irelady10]

Robin- my as's case plan was very similiar to yours- his biomom had MANY kids, none in her care; drugs were invloved; a no reasonable effort to reunify motion was filed; visitation did not happen until the baby was 6 months and the case entered guardianship...details about the case were also vague- I got more info from his CASA worker than his caseworker, but this may be because I was shy with my questions with his CW because he was my 1st placement...

I wish you the best of luck...btw- does your baby have a name that starts with D???

[RobinR]

Hi there. Thanks for the info. I hope ours will go as well as yours and we end up adopting him! His name does not start with D. Last name starts with an R.

Did you ever get in contact with any of your as's bio siblings? I would love for ours to be in contact with someone from his birth family, not to mention that I would love to see how his older siblings are faring in life after the drug exposure.

He doesn't have a CASA as yet. Hoepfully, he'll get assigned one soon and then I can get some more information. I spoke with his law guardian last week and all she is willing to tell me is the court date because the baby is her client and she cannot break the confidentiality. But she also wanted to clarify for her records that we were willing to adopt him. I swear, if one more person asks, I may have to take out a billboard!

[irelady10]

Hi, Robin...all my son's biosiblings have names that start with D and the circumstances were so similiar (same county, too!), so it entered my mind that we may have siblings...

Anyway- my child's LG was also stingy with the details, although I understand why. My child was not assigned a CASA worker until a few months into the case- maybe 2 months?

Has anyone suggested you put into writing that you are interested in adopting this child if his parents are tpr'd? This was suggested in my case. I wrote a resource parent report for his later court hearings, and always put this in the report; I also wrote a separate letter stating my desire to adopt the baby if he became legally free for adoption. PM me if you want and I can give you more details.

Best of luck and enjoy that baby...time flies and they grow up soooo quickly! My little guy is 21 months tomorrow.

BTW- all kids are different and drug exposure affects each kid differently, but wanted to let you know my guy is doing well! He is SMART- he knows 7 shapes, his name, and his age. Not too shabby, huh! I'm having him evaluated my Early Intervention again because of a few concerns I have, but I think a yearly eval for kids with drug/alcohol exposure is a good idea, regardless.

[RobinR]

They TPR'ed on Tuesday! I can't believe it! We are so excited. We'll meet with his caseworker next week to go over the next steps.

YAY!

[chickie1221]

Congrats! Now the 45 day wait....

[RobinR]

Okay, now I am really confused! We met with the caseworker today along with a Family Team Meeting Facilitator and the casework supervisor. They all said TPR happened last week and that we were being moved to an adoption case worker as of tomorrow. However, they are still searching for the birth mother and she still has legal rights. What they told me was that the adoption unit has 60 days from the TPR order to file for guardianship. Then they have 60 days from that to complete the consent package. At that point, they go to court with all our paperwork and have him declared legally free for adoption, thereby fully terminating the birth mother's legal right to him. Then they file for a court date for us to adopt. Does that make sense?

Could be me being naive, but I assumed "TPR" meant her rights were terminated as of then and that the process of adoption would begin. Seems weird to me that we go through all the paperwork, etc. for the consent package if she still has the ability to walk back in and decide to work her plan. In any case, no one thinks it's likely to happen given her history, but I am still a bit unsettled by it.

Can anyone help me with a timeline and some definitions? I am totally okay with it taking a long time; I just want to have accurate and appropriate expectations for what the steps are and what they mean.

Thanks!
Robin

[NJMama]

Either the worker is confused, or just explains things poorly so you can't understand!!! What happened last week was just the permanency hearing where the court approved TPR as the PLAN (TPR = termination of parental rights). At this point, it officially means that the case goal has changed to adoption, nothing more. Parental rights have not yet been terminated, baby is not yet legally free for adoption.

In the permanency order, the judge must approve a timeframe and 60 days is the usual timeframe given to DYFS to get the guardianship complaint filed. (Sometimes you'll hear it referred to as GSP or an FG (thats the docket number it will get assigned once the GSP complaint is filed). The first court date is usually about 30 or 45 days after the complaint is filed (So, you are already at least three months away just from the first court date in the next phase of this). If they dont know mom's whereabouts, they have to do a legal search for her which means sending out letters to government agencies, last known addresses, etc. They have to put together a written affidavit that gets filed with the court outlining all efforts they made to find her. The court will accept that affidavit in lieu of making personal service on her of the complaint and then will schedule whats called a proof hearing. Thats basically a one-sided trial where the DYFS worker will testify about the history of the case, the plan, etc. One-sided because mom wont be there to defend any of it!! When the parent is missing, and this procedure is used, they are technically considered in default, and the proof hearing is what will lead to a decision by the court to terminate their rights. That could happen fairly quickly after the first court date. Unlike what was told to you - none of your paperwork will be presented to the court at that hearing, it has nothing to do with you YET. Only after the rights are terminated, and after 45 days pass in which the parents could assert an appeal THEN your paperwork will be presented to the court for a finalization hearing at which time the adoption will be official and the child will legally be yours. As for the consent, the workers are supposed to be starting that process once it is switched to adoption unit, so that part sounds semi-right. BUT, again, the office manager can not sign the CONSENT until after the court has terminated parental rights and placed the child into the guardianship of DYFS for all purposes, including adoption.(the consent is the ultimate document that has to be signed off by the DYFS manager, sent to your attorney, then your attorney files a petition for adoption, and attaches the agency consent to get your court date for your finalization). Given the absence of the parents, I would say a realistic time frame for all of this might be about 6 months. From what you've said it will happen, so you should feel encouraged by that. But I hate to see people misleaded when DYFS workers talk about the process to people like everyone should know how it works. Its tedious and has multiple steps and is not easily or readily known by people who've not been through it before. In any event, this is big news for you and you should feel ecstatic!! Congratulations. (PS - in my case, TPR was approved as the goal in June, and our adoption was finalized the following April). . .

[RobinR]

NJMama,

Thank you so much! That makes infinitely more sense than the way I understood it yesterday. So, if I follow this correctly, the motion to change the plan to TPR was granted Nov 10. DYFS has until essentially January 10 to file the motion for guardianship. That motion, when granted will terminate birth mother's rights. Then DYFS presents our paperwork, etc. So we are probably 5-6 months away assuming all goes as it should, which is obviously a HUGE assumption. Not bad at all!

In the good news arena, they asked us last night to write a letter of intent to adopt. They so thought I was joking when I said I would have it to them by 9:00 am this morning. Lucky me, I'm on jury duty this week and didn't have to report until 10. Just enough time to walk to the DYFS office (it's near the courthouse I was in) and accost our caseworker while the poor man still had his coat on! Luckily he's so great that he was happy to get the letter and will pass it on to the judge. His supervisor even walked by, saw me and started laughing. I am sure they think we are nuts!

[NJMama]

Sounds like you got it now!!! Glad I could help you understand it better. What county are you in??

[irelady10]

Robin- things are moving quickly, huh!!! I hope things continue to go smoothly for you!!!

Eileen

[irelady10]

Originally Posted by RobinR

Hi there. Thanks for the info. I hope ours will go as well as yours and we end up adopting him! His name does not start with D. Last name starts with an R.

Did you ever get in contact with any of your as's bio siblings? I would love for ours to be in contact with someone from his birth family, not to mention that I would love to see how his older siblings are faring in life after the drug exposure.

I never got any contact info for his siblings; I do keep limited contact with his birthparents. The birthmom sees some of her kids regularly. Maybe in the future my son will have the opportunity to meet some of his bio-siblings.