[MyColony]

Lil J starts pre-school in the fall. He will be going everyday, probably until about 2/3.

He has visits with his mother every wed from about 12 - 1:30.

DYFS provides transportation for the mother. Because of this, I drive Lil J to the office myself. Basically, I thought it would be "easier" especially since the aide can not just swing by my house with his mother in the car.

The pre-school is about 5 miles from the DYFS office. If the aide picked up Lil J from school, she would have to drop off the mother at the office, drive 5 miles to the school, drive 5 miles back to the office and do the same thing at the end of the visit.

The mother is driven to a train station, so time is important.

This would cut probably 20 minutes (at least) off her time. Her visit is already cut short becasue she needs to get to the train. Should I care?? Should I just pick up Lil J from school and still meet at the office - basically what I currently do??

I know others have aides pick up the kids at daycare, but not sure if others have the mothers picked up as well.

[kikismom]

why cant the driver pick the baby up at school and then drive to mom on er way into the dyfs office? And drop mom off first and the n the baby on they way back?

[MyColony]

Originally Posted by kikismom

why cant the driver pick the baby up at school and then drive to mom on er way into the dyfs office? And drop mom off first and the n the baby on they way back?

The train station is about an hour's drive from where the visit office is. I live in a rural area and she takes the train from another state into NJ and then the aide drives her to my local DYFS office.

So, this is not possible

[NJMama]

When my daughter was having visits they did what you are talking about - worker picked up mom in Hudson county drove her down to near where I live, dropped mom off at the visit site - then went to pick up baby at daycare and brought her to the visit. At the end of the visit, mom was left at the visit site while worker brought baby back to daycare and the worker returned to get mom. I never would have minded if mom knew where the daycare was - she wasnt from the area and clearly had transportation issues. So its not like she would have ever just shown up there unexpected. And even if she did, the daycare has strict security policies about releasing the children, so I never really saw the harm if they wanted to save that extra back and forth. But DYFS insisted it be done that way, so I just let them do so. Why cant they just tack on some extra time to the "visit" to allow for the transportation eating into the alloted time?

[MyColony]

Originally Posted by NJMama

Why cant they just tack on some extra time to the "visit" to allow for the transportation eating into the alloted time?

This would work in theory. But, the train only comes about once an hour. It is a 4+ hour trip each way. So, if she does not get back to the train by a certain time, then she has to wait over an hour for the next one.

she is actually entitled to a 2 hour visit, but it is usually about 1hr 15 min - 1 hr 30 minutes because she has to leave by a a certain time to catch the train back.

We live about 45 minutes from the train station.

[NJMama]

Is there a suitable location near the train station where they could visit? The worker could then pick up Little J and take him with her to pick up mom, do the visit, drop mom off and then bring him home. In our public library there is an awesome childrens room with puppet area, puzzles, cushions to sit on the floor, computers, games, etc. It was where my daughter went for her visits, even as an infant. I gave the idea to the worker, and I think at first she thought I was nuts suggesting a "quiet place" like a library for such a young child. But it was free, it was specifically geared to her, and on a weekday morning, they were usually the only ones there!! Just a suggestion to look into.