[misstonicee]

Our FD's mom signed an identified surrender a while back and today I found out that her dad did the same today! We are so thrilled I can't even think straight!

So what should we expect from here? Our daughter's cw has been working on the consent package and it is mostly done. She said they just need to meet with us in August to go over all of the paper work (not sure what this is) and then they submit us for approval??? She said that providing we could get a court date, we could be finalized in 1 1/2 months!! Is that possible?? We are in Morris County, NJ if the county makes a difference.

[irelady10]

CONGRATS!!!!

I am in Morris County, too, but my baby was placed from Essex County. It took us 9 months from the identified surrender to the adoption finalization, but I think that was slower than average.

Basically, you sign alot of paperwork and will be given a medical history of both birthparents (if available). You will probably need to be fingerprinted again, and their is bloodwork your STBAD will need to have as well as medical forms to be filled out by her doc. There is also a psych waiver you need to get notarized. I may be forgetting something...BTW- have you picked an attorney? I used a GREAT one. PM me for a recommendation, if you want.

Congrats, again!

[misstonicee]

Please post or send me a message with your attorney info. The cw said they could assign us someone that they use but I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

I feel like the cw said we were allset on the paperwork except for the part B. We were finger printed, Baby J has had all of her medical tests done, the cw said that we do not need a psychological evaluation because of her age and I do not know what a STBAD is.

We are so excited! Not only are we going to adopt her, but we decided a while back that we would also get married on the same day as the adoption!!

[DianeS]

STBAD = Soon To Be Adopted Daughter

[gigisam]

Wow! Exciting! Hope it's smooth sailing from here on out.

[JJemail1]

Congratulations!!!!

Since an Identified Surrender is the equivalent of Termination of Parental rights, your caseworker is right, you could technically finalized 45 days from the day all rights were surrendered (so 45 days from today).

To accomplish that, you'll need to keep the pressure on your CW to move the consent package along. You can retain a lawyer now but the lawyer won't be able to file your motion for adoption until he receives the consent package. After filing, you may be able to get a court date within a month or so.

By the way, using the laywer DYFS suggests is just as good, if not, preferable to hiring your own for a few reasons: 1) Filing and representing you in court are extremely easy--just some standard forms to complete and file the motion and a single court appearance to read those representations before the judge in order to aquire finalization; 2) the family lawyer is not involved in any subsidy discussions, etc. so could not help you in that way and/or using a DYFS recommended lawyer would not create a conflict of interest; and 3) DYFS' suggested lawyer will probably have a ton of experience doing "state adoptions" and as a result, be very familiar with the process and sequence of events to facilitate an easy adoption. (Wherease a private family lawyer may not necessarily have experience with DYFS, which is slightly different than what is involved in a private adoption.)

I wish you the best!
Jennifer

[misstonicee]

Thanks JJemail1!! We thought about using the lawyer they suggest because the lawyers that we know do not have any information or expereince dealing with DYFS. You gave us even more reasons to go with their lawyer.

Thanks. I can't even believe that this is happening. We go into foster parenting because I believe strongly in families staying together and working through things. I wanted to help them stay together by caring for their children until they were able. I never in a million years thought that we would actually get to adopt a child through this!! In our training, they said that 80% of children are reunified in my county. I never dreamed my family would be in that 20%.

[irelady10]

misstonicee- i just pm'd you with the name of the attorney I used- he is an attorney from the packet of attorneys dyfs will give you to choose from. He is paid by dyfs (you don't pay anything). This attorney was recommended by several people.

Good luck! Eileen

[NJMama]

You dont even have to wait "the 45 days" since that is only for appeals from involuntary terminations of parental rights. It doesnt apply to voluntary surrenders. So if the caseworker is almost done with the consent package, you could be finalizing just as soon as the attorney can file for a court date. And so far, there has been good advice given here about why to go with one of the attorneys from the DYFS list (and I happen to be one of those (in addition to being an adoptive mom) although that is not why I am endorsing that advice - but all the reasons have already been given to you about why it makes good sense. Congrats to you on both the upcoming adoption as well as the upcoming marriage.

[misstonicee]

NJMama

Do you think that the same judge to handle the adoption might also do the marriage? I think it would be such an awesome thing if we could have the same one be part of both major events. Would they allow photos to be taken...by a photographer?

Thanks for your advise.
Toni

[chickie1221]

Our adoption judge was very nice, and photos were encouraged. I just attended a wedding at our county courthouse today, and the judge was very nice and also encouraged photos.

[NJMama]

Oh, I am sure that the same judge would do both ceremonies!! Adoptions and weddings are pretty much the only two happy events that judges get to preside over, so they are thrilled when those opportunities come their way. I bet any judge would be extremely happy to do both ceremonies, and how symbolic of the unity that it all represents to do it all together. (I am crying just thinking about it!!) All judges permit cameras in the courtroom for either adoptions or weddings (some even insist that you send them a copy for their office). Congrats again on your great news

[misstonicee]

Thank you all for your advise. I found out that we can't get married & adopted at the same time :-( This is because each is handled in a different part of the court. I did find out though that it can be done on the same day. In my county, adoptions are done on Fridays at 8:30 and over by 9:30. The weddings happen Monday through Friday 10-2. So the only thing I need is to find out about the adoption date so I can set up the wedding date. Does anyone know how much notice you get on the adoption date? I just need enough time to get hte marriage certifiate (which I think is 1-2 weeks).

Toni

[NJMama]

The statute for adoption hearings says the hearing shall be no less than 10 and no more than 30 days from the date the papers are filed with the court. Knowing the regular schedule for the county where you will finalize, you can almost predict when it will be (once your attorney has received the final paperwork from DYFS and you know the petition is being filed with the court). Use the 10-30 days as a general rule of thumb. If for some reason you got very short notice of the date and couldnt get the marriage license in time, you could always postpone the adoption hearing until the next time the court is doing it. But as soon as your attorney has the papers from DYFS, ask him or her, they know the schedules of the counties and can probably pretty much tell you when it will be scheduled. How exciting for you!!! Congrats again. . .

[irelady10]

I got only a few days notice about our adoption day, but my attorney was able to adjourn the hearing for 2 weeks so my sister and nieces and nephew could attend. Maybe this would work for you, too, so you can arrange both your big events to happen the same day.