[irelady10]

My fs's birthmom just called me from jail...I didn't accept the call. Its the 2nd time she called- I missed the 1st call.

The very upsetting part of this is that she's very pregnant with twins...well, its upsetting, too, that she would think its okay to call me collect; I wonder what she wanted!! Its also kinda upsetting because I thought she might be getting her life together in order to parent these new babies (she relinquished her rights to my fs).

I wonder if she called for bail...or maybe she had no one else to call (I'm NOT her support network and can't become this!!). But, its sad if she had noone else to call...I'm really such a SAP!

Has anyone ever experienced this?? Any advice for me, besides don't accept her calls? (BTW- she has my number because we meet occasionally so she and birthdad can see the baby; court-ordered visitations ended when they relinquished).

[Joei_in_NJ]

I dont have any advise - just wanted to send you a hug!

[mamala]

Ugh... I so feel your pain with feeling like a sap.

DO NOT ACCEPT THE CALLS! You're SO RIGHT--you cannot become her support because it quickly goes over the line. Boundaries.

I almost ran into a similar issue with keeping boundaries with my ffd's birthmom. I actually called my RW's boss (he was on extended leave) and my former RW just to say "Am I wrong here?". Because it is hard. And in my case, ffd is WITH birthmom so I have the added problem of wondering what the backlash will be to her if I DON'T help. Thankfully, you don't have that. I'm sure it's still hard.

Don't accept the calls. Don't feel badly about it being collect because I think that's the only way they can make them--but I'm not sure I'd accept the call.

(I just had to force myself to type that last bit because I thought to myself "well, she called TWICE--she could've tried to call someone else and either had nobody or nobody else was around..." and then reminded myself that I was going down the path of being taken advantage of...geesh)

[EZ2Luv]

If it is too hard for you not to accept the calls you can request a block that no collect calls can come through. I had to do that with a family member that would always try to call from jail. Apparently I am a sap too cause I would weaken and feel bad for him, but his addiction is what caused these problems and he needed to take responsibility for them.

EZ