[mamala]

The road to he** is paved with good intentions, but sometimes it's just like "ENOUGH ALREADY!" with some of the things people say--usually well-meaning, but still annoying and sometimes hurtful... ya know?

Here is my end of the same conversation had countless times with lots of people who have no business butting into my business (copied from a post I did else where LONG ago--but it hasn't changed and I thought you all would find humor... and the board is slow )

No, they are not my kids.
Yes, they live with me all the time. It's fostering, not babysitting.
No, I'm not adopting them--I'm a foster mother not an adoptive mother. (although I am now)
They're going to go home or to a relative.
Yes, really.
I have no idea when. Either when the parents get their act together or some relative steps up to care for them.
It's not as difficult as it sounds.
No, the money is not incredible. It's not about the money.
If it's not really my problem, whose problem is it? (someone ACTUALLY said that to me "That's not really YOUR problem")
You're right--you probably COULDN'T do it because you'd get too attached but thankfully there are heartless wretches like me around so these kids don't sit in a group home or hospital where they get MAYBE an ounce of attention at feeding and diapering time and learn that THAT is what love and family mean.
Yes, I will be sad when they leave. That just means I loved them.
I got that you could never do that. No need to repeat it over and over and over again. Do you realize you just called me a heartless wretch again?
You're right--you couldn't do it because it's really about the kids knowing a good home and love while their life is a complete living he11 and not about your sadness when they go home.
No, I'm not a saint. I'm a human that gives a crap about humanity. What are you?


Can I get a witness?

[irelady10]

Ha-ha...lol!

[Joei_in_NJ]

Can I get a witness?

A M E N

[gigisam]

Thanks for this. I don't have any good ones from recently but last fall a woman, who just overheard I finalized my son's adoption, looked me in the eye and very solemnly said "Adoption is a special love"...now maybe that doesn't sound bad to read but in person, and the way she stared at me and so sincerely!...it was just so corny and kind of awkward and weird.

[chickie1221]

"Adoption is a special love"...

"Isn't that special..."
Yeah, I love, "What a lucky little girl she is." Uh, no, she was kinda unlucky, and that's how we ended up with her. We're the lucky ones.
Or how about, "When she is older, she will know how much she was loved." Well, I hope she knows how much we love her, but I'm afraid she may first focus on why her birth parents did not love her enough.

[mamala]

Originally Posted by chickie1221

"Isn't that special..."
Yeah, I love, "What a lucky little girl she is." Uh, no, she was kinda unlucky, and that's how we ended up with her. We're the lucky ones.
Or how about, "When she is older, she will know how much she was loved." Well, I hope she knows how much we love her, but I'm afraid she may first focus on why her birth parents did not love her enough.

YES! YES! YES! Now that we're adopting, it's all about how lucky SHE is. I've gotten to where I now look at them and say "WHAT?? She couldn't have had worse luck in her little life! WE'RE the lucky ones to have been given a child to love when we've been waiting what could've been forEVER."

And yeah--the whole "Will you tell her?". I honest-to-God thought they meant telling her about the circumstances of her conception (which were allegedly by force). They meant about her being ADOPTED...?

I don't know--even before I got into all of this I thought it had become general knowledge that adopted kids should be raised knowing they're adopted.

[misstonicee]

That was AWESOME!

"You're right--you probably COULDN'T do it because you'd get too attached but thankfully there are heartless wretches like me around so these kids don't sit in a group home or hospital where they get MAYBE an ounce of attention at feeding and diapering time and learn that THAT is what love and family mean."

And,

"I got that you could never do that. No need to repeat it over and over and over again. Do you realize you just called me a heartless wretch again?"

are my favorites. I have had so many people say they could never do it. I do think that they have good intentions in their words...it just sounds so stupid. I do tell people that we are the lucky ones, because I truely believe it. Having this baby in our lives has really made us see things differently, and has changed our world forever. We are actually now engaged to be married, which never really seemed so important to us before Baby J came to us. Having her with us made us realize the importance of family and commitment.

Thank you for sharing your funny stories!

[misstonicee]

I was on line at the supermarket putting all of my WIC items on the counter. I didn't realize the guy at the register was ringing up my order already. He put it all on one bill. So we had to void the entire order so he could do each check separately.

They lady behind me had a very active two year old and an infant in her cart. She stayed there for a minute becuase she already unloaded her cart.

The kid at the register had never done a WIC order before so he needed his managers help. And so we waited.

Meanwhile, the lady behind me was yelling at her two year old for touching the counter (how aweful of that kid to TOUCH the counter!). The mom wasa getting frustrated and finally started throwing her stuff back in the cart...hitting her daughter with pepperoni and cheese. Before she left the line she said in a very angry tone " I can't believe that this has to take so long because this lady is trying to cash her WIC checks with her Mavado watch and designer clothes on!"

Now I know I would have been a bigger person if I had said nothing at all, but I couldn't let this lady off that easy (especially since she was so mean to her daughter), so I said, " Actually, these checks are for my foster daughter who also wears designer clothes. I'm sure she would appreciate the compliment." Her response (still nasty by the way), "Oh, well I didn't know that." My response, "Well, that's why we shouldn't judge people without knowing their circumstances. Have a great day."

She walked away with her head down and didn't yell at her daughter anymore.

[mamala]

HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!! GOOD FOR YOU!

I think being the bigger person IS pointing out to people the errors in their haste to judge! But that's just me.

I'm so jaded now I'd have probably been a huge biotch about it and ended that whole thing with "what kind of charitable work do YOU do?"