[HST2324]

We are in Jersey that have a foster adopt daughter placed with us more than several months ago. The birthmom has had issues drug/alcohol since reported to DYFS . She was with her in a horrible environment and after many interventions from IOP, SAI, and FPS. She turned her over DYFS because she refused the plan. We eventually got her! A few days later she locked up on very serious drug charges.

We know the grandparents for alot of years. They are very happy & elated that we have her and they have her sibling under some type of Guardianship. They want us to adopt her.

She got released from jail on bail and not by them it was cash & substantial . She got visitations and IOP. She has consistenly showed up, eventhough late. She has tested positive for Cocaine recently and DYFS didn't care just part of the process.

The problem we are having is that LG has only visited us once in 5 months to check on her and the situation. We firmly we believe that CW is "Friends" with the birthmom. She consistenty supports the birthmom and writes the report up to reflect that after many problems with not abiding by program and not abiding by the policy of not testing positive or coming late to visits - Oh, That is what drug addicts do, it is part of their healing process, they have to relap, etc.

We want the siblings to visit & apparently so does the Judge but CW and LG says great work it out but birthmom does not want the family to see her only the sibling. We had it on the hook and birthmom said only the sibling and how do u arrange that with the distance?

We are so afraid of losing her to a drug addict and new found father that is incarcated for currently and for very serious charges. We believe she is working this hard NOW to beat her drug charges.

We do not feel she and us are being represented properly and it is only the birthmom being represented. Who cares about the other sibling, in which she has made no contact, since June? They told us she is in Kinship Guardianship and not in their placement. She is only going after her to get in better with the Judge.

The other question, Nobody even cares that the birthmom has not even contact the sibling and no one even cares. We love that sibling and would love to them if it was appropriate. How is that right? Go for one child and not the other. I didn't know that was a selection process. Help Us Understand.

[JJemail1]

HST,

Please take my word: Please find out when the next hearing is and exercise your right to be heard. Everything you've posted here can and should be addressed with the judge. You can ask that the parent not be present in the room when you speak, if that makes it more comfortable for you.

I say this all of the time on this forum but it's been my experience that LGs are NEVER as capable of representing foster children as we are...and they always "forget" to mention critical information. For example, had I not attended all but one of my daughter's hearings, the judge wouldn't have been informed about KEY INFORMATION. One time, I showed up to court and the law guardian who I spent an hour prepping asked me questions that he should have been able to recite in his sleep. These laywers are overworked and do not know our cases as thoroughly as they should to adequately represent our children. I'll say it again, this stuff makes me so mad that I changed my major and am a few classes shy of law school now. Read some of my last posts for manuals on the court process and, again, attend the next hearing and present your concerns. PM me if you'd like input on what to say, etc.

Best of luck,
Jennifer

[Joei_in_NJ]

Jennifer - I just want to thank you for always giving great advice - from the heart- and that you are always willing to help out - I know you don't do it for recognition but "KUDOS" to you - JO

[JJemail1]

That's very sweet, Joie--thank you! Totally off-topic: I've been meaning to tell you that your daughter is gorgeous!

Take care,
Jennifer

[Joei_in_NJ]

AWW thanks Jen- she is my pride and joy - she is really excited about us becoming foster parents - Thanks so much-Jo

[HST2324]

Jenn,

We PM you regarding the advice. Let us know when you read.

Thanks