[gigisam]

Not okay that they lied to me, but I truly believe it's all going to be okay in the long run.
I know you've probably heard all kinds of stories,but I'm going to vent a little hear while you (hopefully) nod your heads in sympathy.
In a nutshell:
We wanted to adopt. We didn't want to accept a child w/o TPR. But they called us about a baby(7/06) and we said yes...because, they assured us, "he's got pre-adoptive approval! He's 'fast-tracked' for adoption! This will all be taken care of by October!"

ha ha ha ha.

Spoke with the law guardian for the first time last night (not the investigator, the actual lawyer) who told me there's not really such a thing as fast-tracked for adoption...just a pilot program that's not going well that we're not a part of. That the earliest legal chance for TPR will be April (just last month I asked worker if she thought we would get TPR this month and she said "I really think so, I don't see why not...Yes")

The good news is that there is no bio-family to speak of, nobody else is trying to get this baby, it should all work out in the long run (pray for us!)...but the lies and deceipt are getting me down today.

[vernellinnj]

Gigi-

Sometimes I think it's lies other times I think it's pure lack of knowledge/incompetence.

I empathize - hope it all works out as God intends.

[RandomReality]

I had something similar happen to me. When the workers pitched a baby to me, they made it sound farrrrrrrrr more simple and easy than it has been. But you know what? This Little Guy was meant to be with me, for however long. If you search your heart and don't feel you could handle the uncertainty, then tell the workers they need to move him along to another home. If your heart tells you to keep him, then do so. I don't think they mean to lie - they are just going on the information they have at the time. It is all a huge gamble, but so is much of life. Meanwhile, you are doing a nice thing for a little person.

[JJemail1]

Hi gigi,

That’s definitely frustrating, but as you said, hopefully won’t affect the final outcome.

I assume TPR is being sought by DYFS/LG already. However, if LG has not pursued it yet, s/he should as NJ Law will support it fully. First, “reasonable efforts” (to reunify your baby with family) are not required at this point because your baby has had no contact with biological parents for 6 months or more, which the law classifies as “abandonment” (and is also grounds for TPR under NJSA30:4C-11.3). In other words, at this point DYFS has no legal obligation to search for relatives anymore.

Additionally, reasonable efforts are not required if "the rights of the parent to another child have been involuntarily terminated" (which may be your case). However, here's a disclaimer: if sufficient pressure from the child’s representation isn’t there, the judge can go with his/her own agenda (it is indeed important to attend hearings and show these judges the face that matches the name on their paperwork). In our case, the LG was asleep at the wheel and, despite DYFS and a psychologist deeming our FS’ mom was unfit to parent, a judge ruled to reunify our baby with his mother in a residential drug rehab program. Regretfully, we did not attend the hearings as per advice from the LG.

I don’t mean to scare you but do need to let you know that despite what is outlined in NJ legislation, the law is not always upheld.

I think your caseworker is right that this should be a cut-and-dry process given the circumstances but DYFS tends to be like the IRS: quick to act when it’s in their best interest and slow as molasses when it’s in yours.

I would recommend calling your LG and pushing to file for TPR (s/he does have the power to do this—the law allows anyone to present a case for TPR for that matter so long as the criteria for TPR is substantiated with evidence). I also recommend obtaining a copy of "The Attorney Manual for Child Welfare Cases." It is a free publication available through ACNJ (Association for Children of New Jersey) Legal Resource Center and available in electronic format at Adoption.com - Information on International, Domestic, Child & Agency Adoptions, Stories, Laws - if I’m not mistaken.

Best of luck to you!
Jennifer

[leenab]

I really wouldn't loose hope yet. You need to ask the caseworker if they're going for abandonment (which is done when the biological family has not had contact with DYFS and the child for 6 months). All hope is not lost considering the child was placed in July, 6 months just passed in January. At that point the caseworker and supervisor can ask the law guardian to consider TPR under abandonment.

One of our son's was TPRed under abandonment, and from placement to adoption day for us was 8 1/2 months. But he was in fostercare for almost 1 1/2 yrs before being placed with us. I know of other foster parents who had "fast-tracked babies" and adopted them before their first birthday.
Fost/adopt is very risky. The only DYFS adoption which is guarenteed is striaght adoption of legally free post-TPR, post waiting period of appeals children. Our 3rd son is one of these cases.
As far as "resonable efforts" not being required. It is a possibility, but I have never ever heard of it being enacted in a case. I have however heard of siblings being born and added to the already existing case and months later going through TPR.

[DOCwifey]

Gigi,
I want to wish you a lot of luck and I will keep you adn your little one in my prayers. I am new to the system and we are not licensed yet, but I really hope that your road to adoption is smooth.

Mare