[Tisa314]

DH and I are becoming very frustrated. When we applied to adopt through the DYFS system we made it very clear that we wanted to adopt not foster a child or children. We were told that we had to foster the them first, then adopt them which would be allowed to do in six months which was December. Well here it is almost a year later and we are still waiting to adopt them. We keep being told things to pacify us but then things are not getting done. All we are given is excuses. So I want to ask everyone: How long from the date of placement did it take you to adopt your child or children? Patience is running out here. And our hearts break as our 8 year old feels she can be taken from our home at any moment no matter how much I re-assure her. I appreciate your input. Thanks, Tisa

[3timesacharm]

I understand what you are saying. Our girls still have the fear (after 8 months) that they are going to leave as well. I don't know if they will ever feel secure. Maybe only finalization will do that for them. They were placed with us the end of September 2005. We were "supposed" to finalize this summer, but that is not going to happen due to an appeal that we filed 1 week before we got them. They have already picked out their new names and everything, but we are in a waiting pattern. We only went straight adoption as well and only wanted kids who were legally free and they were, but the courts can do what they want regardless of TRPs and the supposed 45 day waiting period.

[Tammi5143]

DYFS can only give you a timeframe that they are hoping to finalize by - this does not mean that it will happen. Between the court system, the appeals, etc., it can take quite awhile. Was TPR already done on your child??? If so, then there should be no reason why the adoption process hasn't started. Usually if the child(ren) is legally free, then the period is 6 months before adoption process can start due to bonding. If TPR is done while the child has already been in your care, and the 6 months are passed or nearing, then the process can start. I hope this isn't confusing.

Each of my adoptions were different amounts of time - Joshua finalized when he was 27 months, Erich at 15 months, Hannah at 12 months, and Kaelynn not until she was over the age of 3. All were placed with me as infants (less than 6 wks of age)

Any advice I can give, I will definitely try to help.