[saleschick]

It's been awhile. I've been busy being a mommy. Here's where we're at. We've had my lil girl since August of last year . She was 13 months old at the time When they placed her , they told us they didn't know how long we'd have her. Dad wanted her , mom and maternal grandma.

As time went on, Dad went for a paternity test which came back negative subsequently ruling him out. Mom does not know who else would be dad.

In Dec Grandma was ruled out due to something found in her past and her living conditions( although I never did see a copy of that letter- taking my social workers word on this. ).

Mom has had 4 children ages 16- 2 - 2 are in custody of their respective fathers and the one before mine was removed and parental rights were terminated.

All the while we have had my daughter- her mother has not been clean. So according to my social worker, she has put in for termination of rights ( even though visits continue weekly with mom showing up sometimes and grandma always coming ) The judge denied the request since mom has now this past week come back clean. The first time since this began. He said she is trying.

I guess I 'm scared now and frustrated. How long will this go on? A becomes more attached every day and as far as she is concerned I'm mommy and my husband is daddy. At what point do I have a right to get an attorney? Does DYFS truly take into account the child's psycolgical well being as it says it does when making a decision on permancy?

I think its just ducky that bio mom is clean but 1 test to me does not make a fit parent.

This is a helpless feeling. I love that little girl and hope to adopt her. Social worker says we just have to wait and see what mom does now.
Also I had no idea my s/w went in front of a judge. I called about going on vacation and she half heartedly mentioned it. I guess as foster parents we have no rights and don't need to be told anything.

I'm doing a lot of praying now, not that I've ever stopped, but this little girl has taken over our hearts and our home. How does everyone cope?