[julieanne]

Anyone here adopting or fostering older children?

A lot of the posts I;ve read were about babies and toddlers.

Curious because I would love to compare notes with someone about the whole experience.

Thanks!

Jules

[love4]

I adopted two children from the foster care system. One was 11 and the other 12 when they were placed with us. Two separate adoptions. How about you? love4

[Lorraine123]

I am also in the process of adopted my daughter who is 7.

You will find lots of parents who have done this on this forum.

Good luck to you.

[julieanne]

Hello!

Thanks for the response. I am only in the beginning stages, for the second time around. The first time, four years ago, a private agency did my HS, this time, I am going through DYFS. We never received placement the first time.

I know there are many parents in this forum with older child adoptions but I guess I'm just wondering about folks in NJ specifically.

I'm very anxious right now and the process is just so slow.
I don't need an immediate placement, as I know how important it is for the best match for us, but the HS process itself has proven to be panifully slow. I am eager to begin making contacts through photolistings, introducing myself to social workers, etc.

I'm even more anxious because of less-than-pleasant experiences with DYFS and this process in the past! You'd think they would value families like us more.

We're looking for a boy, 7-12 years-old, any race.

I can't wait to find him!

Thanks.

J

[love4]

We did two out of state adoptions. The first one the agencies were arguing over money and laws. It took 3 years to get my first daughter. It was a horrible experience. My second daughter we adopted from the same state and it took less time because I changed agencies and the two agencies worked together nicely. love4

[leenab]

Hi julie,
We are adopting a 3yr old and 4 yr old. Still somewhat the toddler age. The reason I'm responding is to let you know there are a lot of older children out there. I know of a 10 yr old AA boy who needs an adoptive home as well as an 8yr old caucaian boy who needs a fost/adopt home. You shouldn't wait too long to be matched with a child based on your racial openess as well as the older age.

Right now I'd suggest Reading Adopting An Older Child, books on ADHD (that's always a possibility), check out amazon and just type in the word adoption.

Also NJ ARCH has a ton of great information as well as a lending library. They're really great and super helpful. We recently contacted them about FAS and recieved a book, video and 5 articles three days later in the mail.


LeenaB

[aMarylandfamily]

We have done infant and older child placements ... both have their challenges but are definitely worth the adventure.

Your homestudy can be sent out to other states if a placement in-state is not located within a reasonable amount of time. You may have to pay the state for it but most placing states will reimburse you that cost from a one-time incurred expense account or part of the finalization process.

Years ago when we were inquiring on children we inquired about a child who was on the case management in NJ and she was wonderful. The child involved unfortunately did not do well with animals andwe have three dogs so declined any further information.

So - don't give up hope and don't stop at NJ - there are many kids out there ... some states have more to offer than others (i.e. Massachusetts and California do not pay for post-placement services) ... Oregon and Maine are known for being excellent to work with - pull up the Northwest Adoption Exchange Website as well as the Boys & Girls Society of Oregon and review their Family Matters newsletters and you'll get a flavor for what is available in several states.

And ... keep posting - questions are always welcome and advice when free is cheap and to be ignored or socked away for ammunition/reference for when needed!

Take care.

[3timesacharm]

My husband and I have finally made the decision to adopt through DYFS in New Jersey. We don't want to foster. We have two older children and really do not want to take the chance of having a child placed with us and then taken away. It would be devistating to the whole family. We would like to adopt an older child between 5 and 8 years old. Because of the town we live in, we feel we need to adopt a caucasian child - preferably a boy. Sorry to go on. The reason I am posting is to find out from others out there what the process was like to adopt through DYFS in New Jersey. Has anyone gone through this?