[val237]

Hello All,

Please foregive my ignorance in this matter first of all.
I've been going back and forth for years trying to decide if I should reach out to my reserve or not.
I've contacted Lutheran Social Services and another organization in MPLS, but none have been forthcoming with information.

Is there a right way to make contact with my tribe? I'm an enrolled member and have all the offical contact #'s.

I have to say, I'm not really sure I want to have a relationship with my birth mother. My adoptive mother is aces. I guess I'm just more curious to see if I actually look like my people.

Anyway, I'm torn, but would like the info to have, none the less.

Thanks

Valerie

[melissa_bear003]

I know of several tribes that have an 'outreach' worker so to speak, someone that is designated to help adoptees from the tribe. Perhaps your tribe has the same, or similar? I'd start there.

Best of luck to you!

[KarynB]

Hey Val,

I guess you'd want to consider what is the worst thing that could happen if you do, and what is the worst thing that could happen if you don't.

So - if you do - I guess the worst thing that could happen is rejection. Are you in a place right now that you could handle this? If you decide you aren't in a place right now to deal with this - you can always make a different decision later on.

If you don't - you may have to live (for now) with un-answered questions - are you ok with that?

I am First nations myself, and one of my best friend's brother was adopted off reserve. He did have a rough time "going back" and it took a few years before he felt in any way comfortable. But, I think he is very glad he did it, and now he does have some ties to his birth family and birth culture.

Good luck with your decision!

[DANNYTORO]

Hi!

Just remember things may be very different then you envision. In fact things might not resemble anything you currently think. In our family, myself and one younger sister was adopted away. But there were still eight of us brothers and sisters. And you may have other relatives too. You may find them great, or not. I know my adopted Sis has certain issues buy a few of the others. But she has great relations with the others, our Aunt and Grand Mom. Also your world might not match their world too well. My adopted sis felt smothered and a bit of disdain from some in the tiny little community. Sometimes others see a reunion and act badly over it. Sometimes I think because they have their situations too, perhaps unresolved lost children. But that shouldn't make you lose you opportunity to explore your family and heritage. The best advice is if you do go, forget your thoughts and be totally open minded, but wary of those who may be jealous. I know I was a bit hard on my mom, but after years of revelations, I am no longer so. She had limited capability and a very bad system, and bad men effecting her. In the end it costed her her own life. But none of it was done in malice. For sure, my new family is far beyond any price I paid in "Disappointments". I wouldn't trade them for anything.