[flygrl71]

I have a bit of a problem. I have been going over this back and forth for a long time now and I need some advice. My birth father is full blooded native american. I am now 21 and am fully supporting myself and putting myself through college which y'all know is expensive. I am only going part time, working full time, and trying very hard to do well with my grades. This unfortunately is very difficult because work severely cuts down my study time. I have been pondering the idea of contacting the adoption agency and having them find out the information for me to do what I have to do to qualify for grants for Indian students. What I am having the problem with is I don't wish to be in contact with my birth dad and the agency says they have to contact him to get the info. I talked with them previously and was made to feel guilty for wanting the info. to get a grant for school. They told me that this kind of thing is very disruptive and unfair to the father. I can understand this, but does this seem like i am using his heritage? I understand he probably does not want me in his life, made that quite clear when I was born, and am afraid contact will have to be made and things will go bad. Is it selfish? please help

[flygrl71]

Well, thanks to the advice of users of other threads, I have decided to get the information needed. I contacted the agency today, and will find out soon waht I have to do.

[ilovetenchi19]

I might get myself in trouble here, but I think going after Native grant monies for college given the fact that you have such little connection with your father's side of the family might be a really unwise move on your part.

I am in a situation similar to yours, my mom is white and my dad is Native. I was adopted into a white family also. So I feel you there. It's not fair for children to be cut off from their heritage. But that being said, I do think you should look into other grants and things before you go for this route. Many people may feel that your stance is disrespectful even though you might not mean it to be.

I could see if you were born and raised on a reservation, or if you were more connected with your father, that you might want to ask for the Tribe to help you find funding for school, but my gut instinct is to tell you to get to know your father and your people better before you go walking in with your hand out.

That's just my perspective. I never wanted to seek money when I went looking for my Native roots. I just wanted to find out where I came from and to make some connections with people so I could learn more about it.

I wish you the best,
Joseph

[wolfgurl]

I'm also a 1/2 native, except on my mother's side and I've thought about this too, I'm the same age as you and am hoping to get into schooling again, but haven't got enough money. I can see both sides being right here. It couldn't hurt to look into other options for grants first, but also, we are Natives and the grants have been put there for us as well. They have been put there to use, if you are really struggling, I'd say try for some of them.

[hipretty]

First i want to say I am not Native. I do have a great respect for people who are. I have an "Aunt" who is full Native in New Mexico.

Maybe it is not my place to jump in here... but I just want to mention that I have completed MAPP classes to adopt children in the system. Most of the children are AA or biracial. The teacher stressed how important it was for us to try to involve the children in their own culture. That was a very difficult concept for many of the potential AParents. And there are many families who do adopt AA children and they are not involved in their culture, but raised with the culture of their Afamilies.

Does this mean if they are raised in a CC household they should not be able to take advantage of grants put out there for AA children who wish to attend college? Because it is the heritage of their BParents?

Does that mean hearing impaired children raised to be verbal within the Hearing community (and not encouraged to use sign language or encouraged to embrace Deaf Culture) should not be able to then go on to college with any grant they as a Deaf individual may get? Or to later claim their Deafness, seek out Deaf culture and go to a Deaf University (of which there is only one in the entire world) for that matter?

[quote]
I can understand this, but does this seem like i am using his heritage?

No matter where you were raised, or how you were raised, that is your heritage, whether he likes it or not.

Just my 2 cents! Best wishes for a successful college education, with supplemented tuition ;-)!
Love & Light, Tee

[One of the fire]

I think you should go for it. Its not using you fathers heritage its using YOURS! The programs were put into place for natives. If you can prove your blood quantum to qualify then thats YOUR BIRTHRIGHT. As adoptees we have so few birthrights, I encourge you to take advantage of whatever programs you can. Maybe someday after you get your edcuation, you will have something to give back to the indian community. Volunteering or even having a career in tribal government, who knows. This could be what makes you want to reconnect with your native roots.

Lisa
native adoptee
mom and wife to tribal members

[joskimo]

Your birthfather's heritage is your heritage. I'm not native but my husband is. He was adopted by caucasians but utilizes some of his benefits and when we had our daughter one of the first calls we made was to BIA to register her as Eskimo.

[sweetgrass]

Hey there! Well i'm not sure how things differ in Canada or the States, and i'm not sure where u r, but for me I was raised in an non Native family and always thought when i grew up that i would be worrying about benefits same as anyone else, but i did always know that i was registered. That was almost the ONLY information that i did know about my birth family, was the rez i came from. so when i was 16 and left home i found out about all these benefits that i could receive, like glasses, meds and all that and it helped a lot. I don't have to go thru any family members for this because it is put into place for all Natives and not for the children of so and so. Everyone is always trying to find grants, burseries and scholarships to help get thru school and ur band is a definite option. if u can get help from ur band and not have to go thru loans or anything than go for it. That option is there for members of ur band and as i said not the children of members. ur Native and can access all u need to to get in touch of ur culture and all that that implies so u shouldn't need to even say "boo" to ur b-dad if u don't want to. go straight thru the band office instead of thru family. i agree that it's there for u and u need not feel any guilt at all. don't even think of it as a choice involving him, think of it as u getting in touch with ur rights as a Native.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Originally posted by joskimo
Your birthfather's heritage is your heritage.

This is a good point.

Don't let anyone make you feel bad for doing whatever you need to further your education. God knows it's expensive.

Best of luck.

[flameflash82]

Have to agree here with SchmennaLeigh.

I'm of Native American blood, was adopted into a family where my father had native blood, and have been tempted on many occasions to utilize such. The only reason I haven't been able to, is, until recently, I lived in my adoptive father's native region rather than my actual hertiage's native region.

I've since fixed that problem since Minnesota just feels like home, but then there aren't many grants for a working grad student...

Don't feel guilty though. You have every right to claim and be proud of the native blood in your veins, just as I'll tell my children the same.

[flygrl71]

God it's been a while since I've been here. Unfortunately, since I posted last, there have been no good improvements. The agency tried contacting my father on several occassions with several letters and he didn't choose to respond. On the plus side, they think they have found my mother and are going to try and ask her to see if she knows what tribe he was in. If anyone knows anything about Tribes in North Carolina and would like to share, it would be helpful. I'll be checking back soon. Thanks to all the advice.

[flameflash82]

Eastern Band of Cherokee, Coharie, Haliwa-Saponi, Indians of Person County, Lumbee, Meherrin and Waccamaw-Siouan are the tribes I found on a quick google search recognized by North Carolina...

[NDN]

I wanted to make a comment, as a Native woman. I understand the comments that have characterized the pursuit of grants as disrespectful. However that approach deals with those that are culturally Native.

This case seems to be about someone that is descended from a Native person, so cultural restraints can't really be applied.

My advice is that you look into other funding, in addition to what ever you find out.

Some tribal groups help a great deal with school, others do nothing. I get precious little funding for college, and I belong to one of the nations wealthiest tribes.

If your bf belonged to a nation that is not federally recognized, or does not have a great deal of money, there may not be funds to pay for education.

I strongly encourage you to check on other avenues. The stereotype that all Indians get a free education is definitely not true.

[shirleyville]

I see absolutely nothing wrong with applying for grants/scholarships/loans or anything else, for that matter, that is specified for Native Americans. You ARE Native American for goodness sake! Whether or not you have contact with your birthfather, that doesn't erase your heritage!!
In my humble opinion, you should try to research whatever avenues you find available, and go for it!! This isn't just your birthfather's heritage, it's yours, as well, and you should claim it, without reservation!
Keep us posted!
Hugs,
Sally

[flygrl71]

Well, just as I suspected, my birthfather doesn't want to acknowledge I exist. Several letters have been sent from the agency and he has not replied to any of them. It doesn't bother me though. I had a feeling that would probably happen. Good news...my birth mother and I have made contact. We have written letters. It's all I can handle right now because i'm in a delicate place emotinally but I forsee this being a very good thing. Thanks all, talk to you soon