[NancyAshe]

It's running as a Public Service Announcement (PSA) on Massachusetts TV stations to promote the state's newly enacted safe haven law. It's a rap video... young girls (14-15 years old) sing and dance around another young girl holding a baby... and these are the lyrics:

If you have a baby and don't know what to do, Baby Safe Haven can help you choose.
When the baby is born and you're feeling all alone, and the mother's confused because she can't provide a home.
"Although I can or can't be there, another option is adoption."
"But where can I go for help?"
Bring the baby to the cops or hospital, it's possible.
No strings attached.
No questions asked.
If you have a baby and don't know what to do, Baby Safe Haven can help you choose.
Baby... Safe Haven!
Baby... Safe Haven!
Baby... Safe Haven!

This seems to be anything but an awareness program, and at first, many thought it was a parody - not for real. It encourages abandonment through a safe haven as a first option; it does nothing to help "confused" (to quote the lyrics) mothers learn about other options available to them, or to get them counseling or post-natal medical care.

As adoption advocate Ellen Rardin says, "A century of work to prevent infant abandonment goes down the drain."

[LibertyArk]

So are the teenaged girls in the video people of color? If so, isn't infant abandonment a problem that occurs all across the board, racewise and colorwise? The approach of carrying the message though a rap video infers that this message is intended for young, single, African-American teens. Why not go another route by spending production money on an mini-informative sort of public service announcement? Here's one example:

CLOSE UP: young mother behind a screen talking about HOW and WHY she dropped the baby off at a fire station

CUT TO: fire fighters and social service worker talk about WHAT IT WAS LIKE for the baby to be received...

CONCLUDE WITH VOICE OVER and BACKGROUND SHOT: of adopted child playing in a park with parents while parents talk about the child's life TODAY

-----------------------

I live in an area where infants abandoned and left to die in garbage bins were not born to teen girls but women between the ages of 19-25, and surprisingly a number of these babies are third or fourth children in a home where the mother is being domestically abused by her husband.

Whatsmore, it's bad enough for a woman to be in an unwanted pregnancy, but if the media conveys sentiment in its public messages that such experiences are problematic for certain races or economic classes, there might be consequences for those of other ages, races and classes. Therefore, if possible, it might be a better choice to go with messages that are more generic and neutral. Just my opinion!

[Mrs.G]

I have many different points of view on this safe haven law. As a nurse, I welcome the law as I have first hand seen babies that were found or dropped off and then had to go thru the DSS system to get a home. I feel safe haven will help the babies but as an African American mother and adoptee, I dont like the connotations that is is a "people of color" problem, as I have found that it is just the opposite. The babies I have seen were not of color. I feel the ad is almost targeting that urban group and stigmatizing them. (But what else is new in our society). I would much rather see a baby safely dropped off that left to die but I hate that the ad didnt seem to get the proper message out. It should never be an alternative to adoption but in my opinion a last resort only. I live in Massachusetts, and it angers me to see my state put out a psa that doesnt really do a good job at getting the proper message out. It also leaves no chance of getting the proper information about the child's history to the adoptee later in life, but I guess being left in a garbage can doesnt either. I know that we do alot as far as education in MA and have many services available for scared pregnant teens. I pray they get the help they need before they are in such a desperate situation.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Interesting and thanks for sharing.

Ohio is working on their Safe Haven law (and you would never see rap to promote anything in Ohio). My husband (a paramedic) just received a couple week training course on the subject. They're desperately trying to promote awareness of the program but not make it seem as though it's the only option.

I'm often tempted to help but still too quiet to step forward.

Edit: Mrs. G; I agree with your comments on color. Our problem in this area is not with the AA community dropping babies in places that they will die. Our problem lies with the caucasian race. (We had a girl in a local college dump her baby in a dumpster two years ago which REALLY sprouted the need for our safe haven law.) Interesting, isn't it? Sad.

And also, to the first commenter, our problem here isn't with teen girls (who often have their parents watching over their pregnancy) but with our 19-25 age range (as mentioned above about the college girl).

[dadfor2]

im from mass, and i dont belive the commercial is all african american.

the reason they do RAP is because thats what most kids listen to.....and this is who they are trying to target...young mothers.

i am actually still torn on this safe haven thing...like Mrs G, i see why it is better then dropping off an infant in front of a church to freeze to death or worse yet, a garbage can.

NO QUESTIONS...NO STRINGS

but then i think of the aparents explaining to their child, that we dont know any info on your birthparents, they just dropped you off at this location and we have no idea......sorry.

i think we have learned alot over the years and alot of adoptees want the info on their bparents.

with the safehaven law.....there will be no answers to give to these kids when they get older....

so, i am really on the fence on this whole thing....what do others think?...

im curious.

dadfor2

[SchmennaLeigh]

Originally Posted by dadfor2

NO QUESTIONS...NO STRINGS

but then i think of the aparents explaining to their child, that we dont know any info on your birthparents, they just dropped you off at this location and we have no idea......sorry.

Dad,

In Ohio, for example, when a Mother takes her child to one of the Safe Haven places, she is given a packet. In the packet it sort of thanks her for thinking of the best interest of her child, explains that adoption is a permanent resolution, encourages her to mull that over in a twenty-four hour period and then STRONGLY (without saying, HEY! DO THIS!) encourages her to fill out her medical history and attach a note if she so desires. If she does fill out the medical history, she can bring it back whenever she finishes or so desires. Ohio is really working on trying to negate what you were just talking about.

I would like to hope that all states are.

[dadfor2]

schmenna,

thank you for that info...they might even do that here also, but im not that familiar with the process.

i didnt know they did that, so thats good.

i just thought they dropped the baby off and thats it...so at least there is some sort of follow up

dadfor2

[DavidKed]

I dont know much about the law but I think I am pretty uncomfortable that the father is simply ignored. The laws seem like a gross violation of father rights. What is to prevent any mother from using these laws to circumvent fathers who are in disagreement with the adoption and that want to parent their kid?

Also, I dont like that this is one more thing that paints the picture that fathers dont matter.

How many kids are really abandoned to die? I suspect these laws have a different motive.

[mlassi]

HI David,
I agree. There doesn't seem to be any allowance for fathers to do anything. Do the social services people or what ever agency make statements to the public when this happens in case the father or other family members wish to step in?
Mary

[SchmennaLeigh]

Originally Posted by DavidKed

How many kids are really abandoned to die? I suspect these laws have a different motive.

David,

I understand your reservations and agree with it in part. However, children who are abandoned do, often times, die, especially if they are a newborn who has not received any attention. Columbus, OH had one just recently and we, of course, will never forget the child that perished in the dumpster at the college here in town. Our good friend was the first volunteer fireman on scene and not only had to retrieve the dead child but had to care for the mother-slash-murderer's medical needs. Our friend still lives with that day and we can do nothing for him. The mother-slash-muderer is now out of jail, after staying in for less than a year, under the guise that she will educate people about Ohio's Safe Haven laws. I'd like to tell her a few things.

David, I just went and retrieved my Husband's SHL packet. If the father was to find out that the baby was dropped off without his permission, he could contact Children Services and, unfortunately, would have to pay for a DNA test. CS would then work with the parent to make sure everything was for the best. So, there are catchalls to make sure people are being treated semi-fairly.

Just letting you know.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Originally Posted by mlassi

HI David,
I agree. There doesn't seem to be any allowance for fathers to do anything. Do the social services people or what ever agency make statements to the public when this happens in case the father or other family members wish to step in?
Mary

Mary, at least in Ohio, an announcement can be made on local news. We've carried a few in my time being there. I don't think that is required and should be. As it is no strings attached they often try to respect privacy. However, often times family members like to step forward and attempt to adopt the child, which they like to go for instead of placing outside of the family.

The system does need work but, as I said, Ohio has been working on theirs and we've been working out kinks for awhile. I think our packet is very good right now.

[DavidKed]

I did a little research on the topic and I came across a good article on Safe Haven Laws as they relate to fathers (it also covers putative registries - which really get my blood boiling. lol)

The author pretty much somes what I instinctively felt about the law (no wonder I liked the article ). The safe havens laws have an alterior motive - to further weaken father rights. As the author states, it is not worth destroying the constitutional rights of hundreds of thousands of fathers to save a few babies.

I think the last paragraph of the article is the most important. I wish I could post it here.

http://adoption.about.com/cs/adoptio...ehave_flaw.htm

[NancyAshe]

We have several articles by this author here at the site - about fathers' rights... interesting reading - you can see them here.

And here's a lot of info about Safe Havens generally - not the rap ...
http://www.adoptioninformation.com/d...safehavens.htm

All best
Nancy

[michellemartin]

I dislike safe haven laws. I feel that a woman could go to an agency if she wanted to, or that safe haven provided foster care rather than going directly to an adoption situation. Maybe the mother abandoning her child is a young lady who is unaware of the option to choose parents, have an open relationship, write or recieve letters and pics... I feel that the woman should NOT be anonymous, but be protected from prosecution for abandonment. (and only abandonment, not from abuse if there are signs of that)

Instead of education which could be taught by parents and in schools in health classes about abortion/adoption/parenting, we get cheesy commercials that say "abandon your baby, its okay"

And it sucks for dads.

[SchmennaLeigh]

I found Ohio's packet when I got home from work. I discssed it with Josh and he said they know that the birthfather issue really needs work but they dont' know what to do with it as of yet.

Quote:

Both Biological Parents Have Rights.
If you are surrendering your baby without the other birth parent's knowledge, please tell the other parent as soon as possible. If this parent wants custody, he or she will need to contact Children Services. He or she will be required to pay for DNA testing to prove that he or she is the baby's biological parent.

When it is established the the person seeking custody is the biological parent of the baby, he or she will need to follow procedures established by Ohio law.




Josh says that they are keenly aware of how a father can lose a child without knowing he was a parent, but let's be honest. An agency adoption can just as easily take place without notification of the birthfather if the birthmother really doesn't want him to know. All she HAS to do is say she "honestly" doesn't know who the birthfather is. Unless he finds out, he's up a creek without paddles. Women who don't want the birthfather to find out are going to go about it in one way or another.


Ohio's packet ends with:

Service available.
Remember, if you are still unsure about your decision, you can talk with an adoption social worker to learn about service that are available to you and help you keep and raise your baby. For information, call: And then the local number for CS.