[NancyAshe]

The NSW Supreme Court has ruled against adoptive parents who want to change their 5-month old Korean child's name, stating that a name given at birth is part of a person's identity and should not be subject to indiscriminate changes.

Two years ago, New South Wales (NSW, Australia) passed a new Adoption Act which includes restrictions on the Court with regard to allowing adoptive parents to change their child's name at adoption. The 2003 act "prohibits a court from approving a change in a child's given name if the child is more than one year old, or a non-citizen, 'unless there are special reasons, related to the best interests of the child'."

At the time, we had a lot of discussion about changing any child's name after a certain age, the identity issues that go along with names, and adoptive parents' desires to use names that are meaningful in their families as well.

I'd love to hear opinions from all sides of our community... adoptive parents, birth/first parents, as well as professionals who work with adoptive and placing families, and particularly from adoptees who live with their birth names as first or middle names, or who have had their names changed completely.

Resources
- 2003 Adoption Act information
- News story: Australian Couple Cannot Change Korean Adoptee's Name
- Article: The Importance of Names for Adoptees
- Forum Discussions:
- Question About Naming
- Changing the first name of my soon-to-be adopted son

[riley6]

Does this include not changing the last name either?

We've done it all ways. We changed our son's complete name. He was 5 when we got him and gave him a nickname of his birth first name. He went by that, not his given name for over two years. When we adopted him, we decided to give him his nick name as his legal name. He didn't know his middle name and we chose one together. We changed his last name to ours.

His sister we gave a new middle and last name. We kept her birth name. She was 2 when we got her, 5 when we adopted her.

Our older kids were teens and we kept thier full names and gave them our last name. Their birth last names are now their second middle names.

It should be up to the parents to decide if they want to keep or change their kids' names. I've heard the debate that "their name is the only thing they have left from their bp". That's not true. My younger son has his bmom's eyes, his bf's chin. His sister has her bf's very destinctive hair and her bmom's cute little feet (very distinctive!). My older kids are no doubt their bmom's kids. They have a LOT from their bp's. <I> will be the one adopting them and raising them. <I> should have the choice to change their names. Of course if they're older and WANT to keep their birth names, they should have that choice, but otherwise, it's up to their ap's. They adjust VERY quickly!

There was a sibling group that we had applied to adopt from Korea. The little boy's name was Phuc. You'd better believe we were going to change his name!

[riley6]

I just read the article on the baby. His name was hard to pronounce and they wanted to change it. I think they should be allowed to.

I work in a pediatric office and some of the kids who come in here have names that are obviously made up. It's rediculous! Then the parents get all upset when we misprounounce their name. Sorry! We had one little girl come in who's name was Castle. Could you imagine growing up with that name? We had a little boy come in who's nickname was Lego. They were his initials. the parents wanted us to call him Lego instead of Lance. Their parents obviously like those names, but what about the kids' feelings.

Also, isn't Australia very anti-adoption anyway? Maybe this is just one more way they have to try to discourage people from adopting.

[NancyAshe]

I'm pretty sure this is only about the first name(s) although today's story doesn't specify.

Good question! Maybe one of our Aussie members can help clarify.

[beeba]

There was a sibling group that we had applied to adopt from Korea. The little boy's name was Phuc. You'd better believe we were going to change his name!

Minor nitpick-- There's no "ph" or "f" sound in Korean, and Phuc sounds much more Vietnamese or Cambodian.

[Lindsie]

As far as I know, the last name is automatically changed on adoption but the rule is relating to given names. If all else failed, and the name was truely terrible, there is no reason that you couldn't go by a nickname until the child was old enough to change it themselves. I think that the logic of the court is really badly flawed, sure if you live in Sydney or Melbourne people might know how to pronounce the name, but there are an awful lot of Australians who wouldn't have a clue.

[onedaysoon]

It is so funny how there is a debate about the name change..I have so many mixed feelings. I personally think that the child should keep their first given name providing it is understandable and you are able to pronounce it. I am a birth mother and the circumstances where my daughter was given up for adoption was not by my choice. I feel that If a child is brought into this world and given a name, they should carry that name until such time they are able to make the decision to change it if at all. I can see things from both sides of the fence. being in my position my heart tugs me in the direction of the name staying the same. and I do agree that the child does take with them the eye colour, hair colour, and facial features, why not one last gift of a name as well????. the Adopted parents are going to be their parents no matter what and are going to give them the love, guidance and understanding through their life and that in itself is a gift from God as well.
Michelle

[Jurol]

Originally posted by NancyAshe
I'm pretty sure this is only about the first name(s) although today's story doesn't specify.

Good question! Maybe one of our Aussie members can help clarify.

Hi Sass,

It is the child's given names only. In the case of Korea - the two names given to the child by the social worker when the child is relinquished for adoption. The Korean birth mothers do not normally name the child. As I understand it, this family wanted to give the child a more meaningful and easier-to-pronounce Korean name rather than the Korean name chosen by the social worker. This law is unnecessarily rigid. The adoptive family are already demonstrating their commitment to raise him with involvement in his birth culture. We attended the same adoption culture camp this family attended, where the local Sydney Korean community join with adoptive families for a weekend of fun and educational Korean activities.

As things now sit in NSW a family can't change their child's given name if the adoption takes place in Australia. Families adopting from China complete the legal proceedings in China, and they can give the child any name they wish. But Korean adoptions are finalised in Australia, and in NSW the child's given names must be retained. Of course the adoptive family could apply to change their child's name legally through deed poll any time after the adoption is finalised. We are currently doing just that for our 16 year old Korean son as he would prefer his middle name to contain all his original Korean name, including the surname. He doesn't want to change his first name, which is an Aussie name.

Here in the ACT we encourage people to keep the child's name, particularly if the child is old enough to relate to his or her name, but it is not enforced through legislation. We renamed two of our adopted children and kept the given names of four of our adopted children. I would rather parents think about things like this and that the law shows them respect by trusting them to make decisions in their child's best interests.

Julia

[NancyAshe]

Hi Julia,

Thanks so much for your insight (and good to hear from you!). I also think it's a matter that should be given a good deal of thought before any change is made. I have friends here who changed their child's name without understanding (1) that they could have retained his original name and (2) what his original name meant. After changing the name they discovered that the original name was beautiful and very meaningful and would bring their child a very real sense of his heritage - so they went *back* to court and did a subsequent name change.

All best to you and your crew..
Sass

[mks5202]

My name was Elizabeth when I was baptized in Father Baker's before I was adopted. Since my parents are Catholic, they wanted to give me my own name but also keep my baptismal name. So my legal name is Megan Kathleen, but my Catholic name is Megan Kathleen Elizabeth Mary (Mary was added on by me during confirmation). When I was growing up, my parents always called me Megan Kathleen Elizabeth.

[klkillian]

In some respects, I think it is up to the child. I have an 11 year old son who was 6 at the time of adoption. My husband is a 3rd, so he wanted to change his name to match my husband's. He had a very strong reaction to his bio brother's name being changed, and he was already in school and the kids knew him by his given name. He was very adamant that he wanted my husband's name, so he took his FULL name as his middle name.

When our second son came, again we changed his middle name only. He really liked his first name.

When our baby girl came we changed her name right away, as she was only 5 days old, and her birth name was terribly long and hard to pronounce (domestic adoption). The boys were instrumental in picking her name.

I think in older children it should be left to the discretion of the child. They may want to change it to feel more a part of the family, as my son did. Others may have an emotional connection to their birth name.

[Holly5]

My kids were adoped at ages 10 & 12. We discussed changing names with them both, and my daughter decided to only drop her last name and add ours. My son decided he didn't like his middle name and changed it to the birthfamily last name. He added our last name onto the end.

Both my kids had normal first names so it wasn't a real issue for us at all.

[ctquilter]

Our youngest child was 8 months old when we adopted her from Korea. We decided to keep her Korean name as her middle name, and gave her my grandmother's first name. She is now 28 and likes having her Korean names in there. However, we still don't know how to pronounce them. We've had at least 4 versions given to us by Korean friends.

My thought is that original names are important, but this was a name given to her by social services, not her birthmother, from what we understand. Not a major legacy of anything other than her Korean heritage, which is important enough. As the birthmother of a 38-year-old, I was a bit hurt when I discovered her adoptive parents hadn't kept any part of her name. As I get to know more about them, I realize that they don't want to acknowledge in any way that she wasn't born to them, so changing her name was important to them.

karen
Mother of Cyndi, Will, Jon and Christine

[lucyjoy]

I've had this discussion many times with my kids and some of them have sibs whose names were changed. They feel, and I agree, that their names given to them at birth are part of their identity. To change them, is to take away the one thing that belongs only to them.

I also think asking a child about changing their name, especially at a traumatic time in their life or a time of great change, makes little sense. Some kids would feel they had to say yes to refuse angering the parents or being rejected yet again. Also, many kids, including me, want to change their names at different stages in life-I wanted a glamourous name or some actress I saw that was pretty.

Even children whose names are changed as infants may feel they lost something when they try to fill in the blanks from their lives.
In many cases, it may be the only thing they started life with that they still have.

These are of course only the opinions of myself and my children.

[Jurol]

I also think there are good reasons not to change a child's birth name. I did add an English name to the birth names of my first two sons, so their original names became middle names. If I had my time again I would probably not do that now. I kept the original names of my next four adopted children.

My objection is that this law removes the adoptive parents' choice in the matter. It legislates what the child is to be called. I believe in educating parents in the pros and cons of changing names, not forcing people by law to comply.

Julia