[lcrowder]

I know many adoptees whose names were changed due to the parents wanting to "Americanize/Anglocize" their adopted child.

For a child to have a chosen name by their biological parents is very significant because it is a link to the past. Even if it is another individual that names the child from an orphanage, there is going to be a story behind it. I know that adoptive parents are well intentioned but eventually they will have to share the story of their childs adoption along with their name.

Understandibly there may be some ethnic names that are difficult to pronounce and may even sound "abnormal" to us and I feel that it is disrespectful to say "oh we cannot pronounce your name" without trying to figure out how to. Many people disregard the importance of ones name. Not all of us have "normal" names. Psychologically, it can take a toll on that individual.....

Actor's seem to be choosing unique and different names for their children. Demi Moore's daughter is named "Scout", Gwen Paltrow named her son "Apple" and so on......

I agree with Ms. Ashe that the adoptive parents must make an effort to understand the child's name and it's meaning. It is a link to our past. I also feel that Lucy Joy makes a good point in saying that it is part of our identity.

I was born in the Philippines and my biological mother did not name me. The director of the orphanage named me Lorial (yes, like the cosmetics) because her sister wanted to have the next girl in the orphanage be named after her. This story is part of who I have become, a link to my life as an orphan. I am very adamant about making sure people prounounce my name as I like it, it is part of my identity.

If you want to learn more about the etymology of first and last names check out this website. It gives insight about the significance of Korean names and so on......

http://www.behindthename.com/sources.html

[sillymoore]

I believe that the adoptive parents should have a voice. They are the parents who are raising the child. The child will inherit so much from the birthparents, of course, and they should also be allowed to inherit family pride and name lineage from the parents who are raising them.

I am both an adoptee and an adoptive mother, and when we adopted our son, the birthmother, who birthed him and then gave him into our arms two hours later, had a name for him to suggest.

But we had family names all ready, and we asked herif it was okay that we would be naming him after our family, and she was okay with that.

Domestic infant adoptions are of course different than adoptions of overseas older kids.

But I still think that the aps should have a voice; the strongest legal voice. They are the parents who ought to name the child. The child will inherit their monetary and spiritual legacy, and be the child of their hearts, if not bodies.

[onedaysoon]

funny how we all feel a certain way.....we all have very strong ideas on what we think is right. I also believe that we cannot change anothers opinions or thoughts and feelings about any one issue. We all I would hope come from a stable and moral place in life, once again knowing that morals differ as well. I am a Birth Mother and I have my opinion as I have stated earlier. It of course breaks my heart knowing that my daughter's name was changed at birth. I think that when the smoke clears It sadly almost seems like a control issue. Birth parents feel they should have the right to give the name to the child on the comfort that they will carry the name through life. Adoptive parents feel that they have the right to name the child so that they will carry the name through life as well. In all honesty It comes down to the fact that we DO NOT 'own' our children... they are only on loan, and entrusted to us by God to raise, keep safe and teach them about all the wonderful things in life, hoping that they become wonderful people. You know, when you hear on the news about a newborn baby abandoned on a sidewalk because a mother or a father could not, or would not take care of that little miracle stops you dead in your tracks and just breaks your heart and brings tears to your eyes.........makes me think we should not really worry about what the childs name is, just love them and thank God that we got lucky enough to have our children in our lives.

[sillymoore]

I am very grateful for your post. I do thank god every day for our kids. Nicely said.

As an adoptee I know it can be odd at times having so many parents . . .

My hope is that we can make that a positive thing for our sons.

thanks!