[kglass]

1 year ago I adopted my step daughter, which was placed into our home by DFS almost 4 years ago. My step daughters biological mother gave consent to terminate parental rights, and our attorney set forth a plan for adoption.

The question is, is it required for someone to adopt a child in Missouri after TPR? My mother-in-law is up in arms that I insisted on this as a form of controlling my husband and it was unfair to the child, even though she has referred to me as the childs Mother since DFS placed her with us.

I would have adopted the child regardless of the state requiring it or not, but would just like to know so that I can prove I did not have some kind of "conspiracy" in mind when I did it.

Thank you in advance

[pwtiffany]

From what I understand, it is very rare for the courts to orphan a child by TPR without an adoptive family in place. It is not per se a "requirement" for adoption to take place after TPR, but it is unlikely that would happen.

[DianeS]

You may want to check into whether or not DFS would have remained in the child's life unless you adopted her. If she were a regular foster child, unrelated to your husband, I know DFS would. I'm not sure how it works when she's in a home with one biological parent, but it's something to look into.

Also look into what laws are in place to decide the child's custody should your husband have died or become incapacitated. Without adoption, you would not have been a legal parent, and even if it were in your husband's will that you raise the girl, the courts do not have to abide by that request. (Especially if someone like a paternal grandmother tried to get the will overruled and the child placed with her...)

My point is, regardless of whether there is a law or not, by adopting her you were most likely safeguarding your new daughter's right to be raised by the people she considers father and mother - without official interference and regardless of what happens to either of those parents. So if there is not a law requiring that, maybe there should be.

(And if you don't mind me saying so, your husband should tell his mother to butt out. And he should take steps to be sure the child never hears such thoughts from anyone! Family members who believe people adopt from any motive other than loving the child and wanting the best for the child cause no end of trouble...)