[shastafire]

Hi all! *S*

I read somewhere (can't remember where - it might be somewhere on this site) that some states have a need for foster to adopt infant caregivers, is this true of MO?

Dh and I long to adopt a child and this seems like a fairly good option, even considering that infants are considered high - risk (that is something we are willing to accept) on the adoption scale of things.

Thank you for your thoughts....

Ang

[tlc4kidz]

I think it just dependes on the county you're in. We have been fostering for almost 3 years and have had 7 placements, all under the age of 1, and 4 at 2 or 3 days old. Of those 4, 2 were adopted by other families and we are the tpr/adopt process with one and her baby brother's goal is reunification.

We have had several other calls for infants, but usually only take one placement at a time. The thing is, I think it's hard to get your first placement. I had a friend who had been fostering for several years and the cw's knew and liked her. When she got a call she gave them my name and that's how we got our first couple placements. After a while they get to know if you are good with working with infants and especially with their families.

I think the thing some cw's worry about (and I may be wrong) is that for a couple that desperately wants to adopt it will be too difficult to support the goal that the baby will go home. It is VERY hard, but you really have to be able to do that....even with our 17 month old who we have had from birth there's a chance we could lose her. If her bp's contest the adoption/tpr and win they will get her back. That's something I'm not sure anyone can really be emotionally prepared for, but you have to go into it knowing it's a possibility.

Good luck in your journey...it's a big decision. If I were to give any advice it would be to get licensed for foster/adopt while you are doing the classes and all, but go into it with a foster mind-set only. Then if a forever child comes into your life you will have an unexpected blessing!

[rights]

In our county it is hard to keep foster homes that want babies. They usually adopt after awhile and quit. Babies are alot of work if you aren't wanting to adopt. It is the best way to have access to adopt a baby if you are adopting through the state. If they call me I will gladly send them to you.

[mckenna]

i have had 4 infants placed with me in the past 4 years. the oldest was 9 months at placement. 3 have been returned to bparent(s) and i adopted one of them. i officially got back on the list to take a baby at the beginning of aug.

[shastafire]

Just wanted to post a quick update! *S*

We are hoping to make it into the Sept. classes - though we are worried that we may not, as our home visit hasn't taken place yet.

What should we be prepared for at the home visit? We have babyproofed and all...but should we have any documents or anything available to the SW? Any other tips for a successful home visit?

Thanks all...DH and I are SOOOO looking forward to being infant caregivers! Yes, we have an interest in adoption - but we know that the primary goal should be reunification - and we treasure the fact that we will be able to give these little ones a great start in life!

TTYL;

Ang

[rights]

We had to have a working fire extinguisher, working smoke alarms, and a fire escape plan posted. Just be ready to answer alot of personal and what if questions. We were already half way through our foster classes before we had our first home visit so you might still get in. Be sure to keep in touch with whoever is giving the classes. Welcome to foster care!

[shastafire]

Hello rights and thank you for your welcome - unfortunately, it was too soon.

I am so sad right now. We have continually been turned down from one place to another, until we started dealing with the State. The State seemed to understand and be open to my age (20 - be 21 in 3 months) and to my husband's history - he is on probation till Nov. 2005; he has completely changed in the past 3 years; and it wasn't a violent crime or child related; and it was only once.

Anyhow, The state SW that I spoke to in July and again twice this month, has been ok with those two things. She has seemed so nice and excited FOR us. Then, I was referred to a new SW and when I spoke to him (about 10 minutes ago) - he told me that we have to wait to proceed until Nov. 2005 and that it is going to be really hard to "convince the big people up top" to let us foster/adopt.

I am so depressed right now, I just know that in Nov. when we call back there will be another problem (probably my weight will be next - I'm 280! *LOL*) and we'll be postponed longer. I just want to give up right now. But I can't. I love children. I love these children - these children that need us as much as we need to care for them - and I haven't met them yet.

We were buying another house, and selling ours this month (even though I already babyproofed this one - I even bought extra stuff to babyproof the next house with) - and now I think - what's the point? Do we really need that extra room? Not now. I might as well go back to work (I'm a SAHM to Lucas - 4 years - who is now in preschool); In short, I'm feeling that all is lost.

Be well all...and brightest wishes for you and your fchildren.

Ang

[rights]

Your experience is a perfect example of working with the state. Each SW has their own opinion and each opininon is usually completely different from the last SW that you asked. Please don't stop with this one, they also have a supervisor that will hopefully have a more reliable answer. There has to a set of written requirements that you can read. Since you were given two totally different answers, can you make an appointment with a supervisor so you can discuss the requirements? I know in our county in Missouri there are foster/adopt parents that have previous criminal records that are good parents. We also have 21 year old foster parents, older foster parents, single male and female foster parents, gay male and female foster parents, skinny and over weight foster parents, short and tall foster parents, handicap foster parents, some with short hair and some with long hair, some that wear suits only and some you will only see in jeans. Some people are judgemental and bring their own opinions and sterotypes to work with them. Do you live in Missouri? If so, can you send me a private message and let me know where you live. Don't give up, I wanted to open an orphanage when I was very young (probaly 10 years old), some people are just cut out to help children and it sounds like you are one of them.

[shastafire]

Rights - Happily (ok, anxiously ) awaiting a reply to the PM I sent you...Can't wait to hear your thoughts on what we should do next...Be well....

Ang

[All Boys]

Hey Fellow Missourian's

We live in Southeast Missouri, and to were told that there was a great need for foster/adoptive homes for infants. We completed our classes in June and have not had one call as of yet... I am so disappointed.... I have the room waiting and ready and nothing nota zillcho calls...........
Anyone else from down in our area....

Gina