[HappyIn-AF]

Hello! My husband and I are both Active Duty AF. We have 1 son who will soon be 2. He is a very happy child. We would like to add on to our family. I am always looking in the internet of children needing homes and feel that adoption is the best way for us to add to our family. We are a very close knit family and have so much to offer. However everything that I have seen thus far is very discouraging of Military couples adopting. I was just wondering if anyone has experienced mil-to-mil adoption or know someone who has. Is this really impossible?

[sneezyone]

I'm not sure what you mean by military to military adoption. The military certainly doesn't facilitate adoptions for service members. If anything, they bend over backward to provide single-parents the resources they need to parent effectively - but you probably know that already.

Also, I haven't had any negative experiences with agencies when discussing DH's occupation. If anything, there's some hesitancy about residency issues (because so many military families move before the process can be completed) but that wasn't an issue for us (we lived in the same place for 6 years and could have stayed another 3) and you can always request to remain stationed in the same place pending finalization. Contrary to popular belief, we don't all HAVE to move every 2 years.

If you tell us exactly what troubles you're running into, we might be able to give you more specific advice.

You might also check out this page for some helpful info and resources. http://military.adoption.com/

[HappyIn-AF]

Thanks for reading my post!


What I meant was, my husband and I are both in the military - we (AF members) ofter refer to married members as mil-to-mil. Because we are both Active Duty we are both always going to be at risk for deployments. I am wondering if that is frowned upon in the world of adoption. What (little) that I have found so far is that it doesn't work out very often.

Thanks for the the link...I will check it out

[astra]

Have you looked into adopting through your state foster/adopt care system? At our last base we got the impression that they liked working with military families. We ended up moving and decided to look into international adoption at our current location.

What type of adoption are you interested in? It might be helpful to ask in one of the forums of the specific adoption you'd like(domestic infant, international..etc). There could be military families there that don't check this forum often!

We are not a mil to mil couple. And wish I could be more help!

[sneezyone]

I suppose the reaction depends on the type of adoption you want and the type of child you want to adopt. I know my facilitator has worked with dual military couples before with no problem but they, like us,were adopting an aa or bi-racial child.

I don't see it as being any different than being married to a commercial pilot or off-shore oil-rigger. There are lots of people with risky jobs who have to be away from home for long periods. If it's just an issue with the agency you're talking to, I'd either find another agency or find one that was at least open to hearing what you have to offer. Don't give up so easy!

There are so few people in the military anymore (as a proportion of the general population) that many people just have no clue what military life is like, what the deployment schedules are like, etc. Sometimes you just need to take the time to educate them about the benefits of your jobs/lifestyles - travel for you and your kids, diverse neighborhoods, great healthcare, great child-care benefits, community support, etc.

[chrisa]

Hi Happyin-af,
well I used to be mil to mil too (Air Force) but, I got out back in 2001 after we pcs'd from Italy.
We adopted from Social serives in California while stationed at Vandenberg AFB. we had the most amazing experience (her case was considered fost/adopt)
I would have to agree I don't think being mil to mil would be a problem. the military has a great support system and the kids do have great child care on base (as you know).
If you guys want to adopt...I would say jump in and start the process. figure out what you are comfortable with private domestic, fost/adopt, international.
for our 2nd adoptionnn we just adopted from Guatemala this past Summer and we are stationed in Germany!!

Chris