[grbeesley]

Hello
it has been a long time since I posted but here it goes. I could use some incouragement .. We have have just "lost' our 10 and 11 (twins) child. I know that needs some explaning.. We lost 4 to miscar. and 4 to failed invitro, and 3 to birth mother changing her mind.
We also thanks to "Uncle Sam' have to move to another state. Do not get me wrong. We love being in the military. It has been a good life for us. Just this time the move messed things up for us. The new state will not recognize any of the work we have done so we now have to start over from square one. Of course the finances are gone and.... well you all get the picture. We do want a little angel so back to square one. Could use some advice from any one who has been down this road. If you want please email me at mycraftsrjuneb@yahoo.com
thank you and God Bless

[BrandyHagz]

Have you and your spouse talked about turning down the PCS? I know it can sometimes look bad...but under the circumstances, I think the command would look upon the request favorably.

If that isnt an option, then can you locate an agency in the state that you are in that can work with you? Handle the placement and finalization in the state you are in now, even tho you dont live there?

I know that if you are stationed overseas, they will allow you to adopt and finalize in your HoR...so that might be an option...

Another would be adopting thru the state....it could take a while, but could be nearly free...

I wish you luck...doing anything while in the military is hard...but it becomes REALLY hard when you have to PCS.

[Sylvester]

I would try to find an agency that works with families in any state. We are a military family and have successfully adopted twice. Being active duty has never been an issue. I would suggest that your husband speak with his new chain of command upon his arrival and ask for their support in the adoption process. Good luck to you!

[tobeafamily]

All I can say is hang in there. While it may seem you're starting again from square one you're not really. Since you've done a homestudy, you are prepared and understand what to expect. I'd also call several agencies there and see if any are willing to accept your completed study or pay them a small fee to 'update' you.

Moving is always a pain, hopefully you've got some time. If you can, take advantage of the military moving you. Had some friends who wanted to do it themselves and save $$ and regretted it - what a pain it was. Let them pack it all up, etc. DH was AD/USN when we adopted, he just retired 31 May.

I realize it's a cliche, it's also true that sometimes it's darkest before the dawn. The night I got the call that turned into the connection that brought us together with Ryan's birthfamily I was on the elliptical trainer at the gym pounding out "ITS NOT FAIR" in my head. Another couple who hardly searched at all in our group had just made their connection & took their child home within a week. We had done so much more, talked to so many prospective bfamilies, it was just disenheartening. Then my cell phone rang.

Hang in there.

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas