[mckenna]

yah! i am glad to hear things are moving in the right direction. good luck!

[szypzz]

Yippee!!! Yay!! Congratulations!! Awesome!! Excellent!!

Sadly, the hard part starts now. Waiting for a match!

[lambeausam]

But isn't it a great feeling to be past the bulk of paperwork and able to get to the "fun" part?

I'm delighted that the homestudy is done and over with. I was hoping to learn about waiting children from my caseworker, but she doesn't have any that meet our (age) criteria.

She suggested that I check the web, which I've been doing for months. I read in the Free Press today about another child in foster care dying from abuse. It made me sad and frustrated. Who is protecting these children?

[Kare]

Hello,
I was so excited to find this post. My husband and I are looking to adopt an older child. We had our homestudy done before Christmas, and started looking for our child in January. We're looking to adopt a boy or a girl ages 8-14. We have a biological daughter who is 17. Due to infertility, we have not been able to have any other children.

We have been matched. First with a boy who we were real interested in, but the foster mom and foster care worker did not want him moved so far away due to other siblings, so the foster mom now wants to adopt him.

We have been matched with two other boys--one was 14 the other was 12. We received the assessment of the 14 yo, and requested the full assessment, which we have been waiting for for several weeks.

Everything seems to move slowly. Once we receive the full assessment, we can then visit. We're excited and nervous. At times I thought it might be easier to be a foster mom first (you get to know the child and there is a shortage in our area), but right now we're doing it this way.

[tzwc3x]

I just wanted to say that I'm just starting out with the adoption process and reading your posts have been very helpful with many of my questions.

szypzz...I think we work at the same place...If we do you'll know what I mean!!!!

I love that we have two new posters doing older child adoption in MI!

Welcome!

[Cleopatrick]

Wow, lots of new people!! Congrats jl on making it to the finish line for the homestudy, lol.


Kare, it's really not easier to be a foster mom first. You get so attached to so many of the kids and then have to see them leave. It can be very painful. We actually went into foster care not thinking of adopting. But we have been very blessed to have adopted twice =).


So, what part of Michigan is everyone from? I'm in the thumb.

[kpm]

I am just dropping in to say hi. I live in Michigan too. We are looking to adopt a special needs child under 5. Our homestudy was completed in February, so I guess we are waiting parents. I love reading everyones advice. I am really glad that I am not the only one who did not wish to do foster care to adopt. I knew that my heart couldn't take it. I worry that we have taken the longer route and I stink at being patient.

I live just north of Detroit.

KPM - we're hoping to adopt a child under age 6. My little sister is seven years old and we don't feel it would be right to bring in someone older than her. Especially because she is SO excited about being an Aunt!! I also have brothers that are 10 and 13 years of age who are equally excited about this.

This will be the first grandchild on both sides of the family as well. Which means there are many impatient people waiting for us to be placed!

Kare - you mentioned that you are looking for a boy or girl and have been matched with two boys. It seems like the majority of the children in foster care are male. Why is that?

[Kare]

I'm from the west side of the state, near Ludington. We moved here five years ago. We were originally from Troy. There definitely is more boys. (A lot of the girls seem to get adopted from their foster homes.)

One question I have, is when we visit, is it good to bring pictures of our house, etc. the first time, or wait until we visit a second time. Should my husband and I visit by ourselveves the first time, or should we bring our 17 y.o. daughter?

If anyone has any ideas, let me know.

I graduated from Troy High

WRT your questions about visits, I posted something similar in the Special Needs Adoption Forum. I think the header is "what can I expect?" You might want to check out the responses I received.

[Kare]

JL--
My husband also graduated from Troy High.

I have to say waiting is the hardest thing to do. At one point, I did ask my Social Worker about being a foster mom, thinking it would be faster. She never really answered me--I think she just thought I was being inpatient (which I was).

In the waiting period, I have read a lot of books, trying to prepare myself. This has helped a lot.

Our CW mentioned some children which made it sounds like we wouldn't have to wait a terribly long time for our child. She was overly optimistic (or maybe I read into things she said, which is probablly the case!) The waiting is dreadful, I just hate it.

BTW - I graduated from THS in 1990.