[JL Cauling]

I'm not familiar with the blodgett agency, perhaps someone else is. We used Ennis Center for Children. It took almost a year from completion of our homestudy to move in. We were matched about 10 months after the homestudy was complete.

yes, our son is home. Interstate came through around 4p on Friday, we were going to have to take him home on Saturday if it hadnt! He's been home for 29 days now. In school for three weeks. There are bumps in the road, but right now we feel very blessed to have him here and we are just crazy about our sweet little boy!

[Lunahalo]

Thanks for the info, I like to know everything about everything before I do it so it is great to get so much good information.
we are planning on taking adoption classes for adopting special needs and older children, and I have a question about them, can you take them at a different orginazation other than the agency you go with? If you do, do they count, or do you still have to go through training at your agency, it most likely depends on the agency, but I was just wondering... I know the place we are thinking of going throug only has training sessions this spring then again in the fall and they are at a time where we can not go, and I found a place that offers a weekend of classes, has anyone gone to those? If so what are they like? Any info would be great!
Thanks !

[szypzz]

JL - Glad to here you didn't have to take him back. Happy 1st Mother's Day!!

Luna - We took our bulk of hours in a weekend class in Jackson, held by MARE. I highly recommend it. It was very good. We did not have to take similar/the same classes through our agency. We took PATH (Parents as Tender Healers) training, but our agency teaches the PRIDE program. We liked the intense weekend training rather than the once a week for so many weeks format. We were told not to take both PATH and PRIDE by our adoption worker. She said they are too similar.

I was trying to look through my notes and find some of the books I found most helpful at the beginning. I've read quite a few and I hope I'm recommeding the right ones. ;-) "Adopting the Older Child" by Claudia Jewett, "A Child's Journey Through Placement" by Vera Fahlberg, "Building the Bonds of Attachment" by Daniel C. Hughs, "Fostering or Adopting the Troubled Child" by Janet Clayton Glatz, and "Children's Adjustment to Adoption" by Brodzinsky/Smith/Brodzinsky are some of the ones I read early on. (Keep track because if you are low on hours you can get credit for a few hours too.) One of my favorite discipline books is "Love and Logic" by Foster Kline and Jim Fay. I reread this one often.

If you have any other questions I might be able to help with, please feel free to ask.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL CURRENT, SOON-TO-BE, FOSTER, and HOPING-TO-BE MOMS OUT THERE!!

[Lunahalo]

Hello all,
If any one has any new updates on how things are going with their families please post, as I am really interested and would love to hear from those who have been there!
We finally took our first real step towards adoption. This takes so long to even do that!(lol) We got a worker and set up a meeting with her, I call every other day it seems with questions, so it will be nice to finally meet. We went to get all our physicals done, there is four in our family so it took a whole day!
So here's my question. When we meet for the first time does anyone know what we will go over? What did you all go over in the first meeting? We got our Physicals done, should we bring our copied records, i.e. drivers license, marriage license, birth cert. ect.? Or just show up and send them in later. Wouldn’t it be faster if we had all of that ready, or won't it matter since we haven't even filled out the official application yet, and will probably have to send that in as well? (We want to adopt through the state, maybe a sib group just for info, in case you missed the other post)
Oh and how long did it take after the initial meeting for the worker to come out to your house? Just wondering what others went though. It makes it nicer to have known how others dealt and how it worked for them. So if you have a long and seemingly boring story, I would love to read it! And if yours is short and to the point I'd want to read that too. I just about read every book there is on adoption that I can find, but real stories are nice after you’ve read all the basic. No one can predict how it is going to be but it is nice to see some of the ways it was for others.
Speaking of books, I about wrote one here so I mustn't go on and on...
Thanks L~

[JL Cauling]

When Superman and I talked about starting a family, we both wanted to adopt one and have one biological child. When infertility slowed our plans, we were going to adopt a little girl from China but the SARS outbreak scared us and delayed many adoptions.

We'd been TTC for more than a year without success when I saw a billboard for MARE, the Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange. I decided to check out the website. This was November of 2002. I was shocked to see how many beautiful, healthy young children were waiting for a home right here in Michigan!

We attended at PATH (parents as tender healers) seminar in January 2003. This prepared us for the challenges of adopting an older child from the foster system. Most of these children are victims of abuse and neglect. Children who have suffered many losses. There was a lot of soul searching, and we both felt that we are up to the challenge of parenting a special needs child.

We met with our caseworker in February and our homestudy was completed in April. Because we were first time parents we decided that a young child (2-6) with minimal needs would be the best for us.

By the end of the summer we were presented with our first child. A three year old boy who we were very interested in, until we learned that he was one of almost 20 siblings. The sheer volume of family that he had in our area intimidated us and we decided not to pursue this child.

The next several months were interminably long and quite frustrating. We applied for many children on the MARE site, but were never selected to parent them. We were also still TTC using injectibles and each month that went by without a pregnancy or a placement were unhappy ones.

We expressed an interest in Parker in around Halloween. We didn't hear anything about the case until January when our CW informed us that we'd been selected to be his parents. We were shocked! We were desperate to learn more about this blonde, green eyed six year old boy.

It wasn't until the end of February that we finally got information about the boy who would be our son. The foster system moves at a snail's pace, it's maddening. You need a great deal of patience to deal with the system and later with the child.

The last weekend in February we invited Parker and his foster mother out to dinner. I was utterly terrified and sat there staring at him for half the meal. The foster mom and Superman talked with Parker and made he and I feel comfortable. During the meal, Parker whispered something to Nana who answered Yes, baby and Parker grinned happily. I asked her what Parker said and she wouldn't tell me. She later told Superman that he'd asked Is she going to be my mommy? Superman told me this in the car on the way home and I burst into tears. Happy tears.

We went for two more visits in March, spending the day with him each time. The second visit we took him to Target to pick out beddings and decorations for his room. Not surprisingly he picked Spiderman *everything*. We took it all home with us and when he came for his first overnight, his room was ready for him.

He moved in on Good Friday. Making it almost a full year from the completion of the homestudy to having a child of our own. The adoption will be legalized in October.

While we've had a couple of bumps, the transition is going incredibly well. Even our CW is shocked and amazed at how well it's going. I give Parker a lot of credit. He is a very smart little boy, very affectionate and wants to do well in our household. I know not all adoptions go this smoothly.

Some of the biggest challenges we have faced are those that any new parents face. Something comes up and we have to make a decision on how to handle this new issue. If I could change anything about Parker he would always look both ways before crossing the street on his bike or scooter. We are very blessed in that he is agreeable, affectionate, a good student, a good listener and makes friends easily.

I know that other adoptive parents have had more challenging transitions with their family. This is our story so far.

[Grrltrouble]

Hi. I still don't have much of a story, but I FINALLY just received a copy of my homestudy after many months. Things have been going very slooooowly for me. I went to a MARE meeting last April(?), and started training by June... So, it's been over a year since I made the decision to adopt, and now I'm just waiting for the right kid. I've been going to every event that i can and obsessing over photolistings constantly. I was hoping that I would be one of those really fast and easy cases, but it seems that fate is forcing me to prove that i'm as patient as i claim to be.
I am a 30 yr old single woman looking for an elementary school aged boy. Or boys - not sure how that would work out, but I'm becoming more and more enamoured with the thought of sibs. Also, my upper age limit is creeping up too. I just inquired about an 11 yr old. Middle School! I've never been a parent, so I too am reading everything i can get my hands on regarding adoption and just general parenting. I have been trying to find more classes, but it's a lot harder than i expected. I think i'll have to break down and leap out of cyberspace to make phone calls to actual people (will probably get stuck in phone menus haha).

JL - glad to hear everything's working out well. congratulations.

[Lunahalo]

Hi!
It's great to hear how you are doing,
The wait is what every one talks about, so I have been prepared for it, although you never can know what will happpen. I would have liked to start the prosses earlier, exept my DH is finishing up schooling and we are on the college budget. So now is the beging of the wait! no more waiting to wait! lol.
We too would like to adopt a sib group, i think that would be a good thing, we already have 2 boi's so adding 2 or 3 more would really make us a bigger family fast! I am all for adopting a big sib group, those are hard to place kids, and I would love a big fam.but DH is not so sure he can suport 7 or so kids so we will see how things work out for us.
I am interseted how things are going for you so keep me posted on any progress!
We too are going to the Mare(weekend) training, how was it and what was it like? We have a dd that needs special care every 2-4 hours and so will to take breaks to help her out. just wondering if they have shedualed breaks or anything,

hope to hear from you soon.

[JL Cauling]

Grrl - We found Parker in Ohio, have you visited their adoption page? Adopt Ohio

Luna - Nancy Berger ran our training, she was very nice and there are plenty of breaks, I would call ahead and let them know your needs, I bet they can accomodate you!

Good luck to both of you!

[Lunahalo]

JL Cauling,
About adopting from Ohio...
we have also been interested in adopting from Ohio, however we know notheing about it. So I have a few Questions if you don't mind, if any one else has awnsers or input I'd be happy to hear it also!
Was it a longer prosess? do all state agencys alow for inter state adoption? how would we find a child? Does the agency still look for matches or do we look on our own and tell them when we see a potential child? How is the visiting done when it is so far away?
Thats all for now thanks!!!

[JL Cauling]

Let's see, we were told about Parker in January and met him in early March (after the presentation) he moved in by 4/22/04. Our court date to finalize is set for the last week of October.

He is from the Toledo area, so he was only 1 hour away, which made visits easy. The Ohio people said they would reimburse us for hotel stays if we wanted to spend a couple of weekends in Ohio visiting.

Your worker will continue to look for matches with local kids, but you can submit your homestudy to other counties/states.

Hope that helps!

[Lunahalo]

Thanks that helps alot!
I went to the Ohio site you mentioned, and we are defenetly keeping that option open, I seem to have a lot of questions, so thanks for awnsering. I am sure I will have more as our adoption course continues.
thanks

[Grrltrouble]

I have been looking at Ohio for a while. I have called about a couple of kids, but (of course) their foster families were adopting them. It seems like I would be even further down the list of likely candidates in Ohio or any other state for that matter. Single, inexperienced, AND far away - sounds like the perfect parent! I am keeping an open mind though, you never know. Do you think it adds significantly to the red tape to go out of state? or government = government no matter where you are?

[Lunahalo]

Grrltrouble,
Hey don't get down, I am sure you will be matched with the perfect child for you.
Good question about the state, I was wondering that too, It seems that there are so many hoops to go through as it is.

~About the ohio site, does anyone have any idea how often they update it? It seems not too often to me. There is a boy on there who's info states that they will exept homestudys in April of 04 or somthing, although, maybe thay havn't found a place for him yet. Also I looked into a sib group of 2, a 4 and 5 yr old and the pic. was more like 14 and 15 yr olds! I have seen a few mess ups like this and wonder if anyone knows anything about it. Just wondering.
thanks
L H

[LovingFamily]

Hi all,

I have been reading this and the previous thread. My hubby and I are just beginning the process of trying to adopt an older child in Michigan. We are currently trying to select an agency. It is very confusing with all the options that are available. We are leaning towards a private agency as it sounds like the process will be a bit quicker but how to choose between them? It is overwhelming!

We are in the SE Michigan area. I have really enjoyed reading a lot of the messages in this thread -- haven't read them all yet.

Any advice is welcome for a couple of newbies.

We currently have one boy A 8 7/8 yo.

Thanks

[Lunahalo]

Hello all
Welcome Loving family, we are in the S.W. side and just had our first meeting with DA Blodgett our agency today they are in NE Grand Rapids but the drive is only 15 min for us.
They seem real nice there, and seem to do things rather quickly, which of course is relative since we all know that this takes T I M E...
Our worker was stunned that we were so young and wanted to adopt and to beat all that were fertile also! I think she thinks were nuts or something. I don’t know how to tell her that this is just our life style, that we are not the average 23 yr old college kids hanging our and having fun. Although we do have fun, play-dates, trips to the Zoo, family camping ect. Definitely not average. We l I am sure after a few meetings she wil be able to see that.
We set up for an in home meeting on the 13 of August. I was wondering what all they look at. She said that they look to see if you have enough room, and to see if it is safe. So does that mean lock up chemicals get fire detectors in every room ??? Just wondering….
We have our offices upstairs and were planning on moving it down to the lower level so that the child or children could have the space on the same floor as us, can we just tell her that we are going to do that do you think it will matter if we don’t move them right away? Since it will be she said up to 2 years, hopefully sooner, we thought we could maybe make it nicer for our offices with some decorating in the meantime.
Well that is all for now

Best wishes!