[Just Julie]

It's exciting to see how God is working this out for all of you! Thanks for the update. The kids sound great!

We just found out that we have permission to bring the kids to our home for an overnight visit this Saturday. We are SO excited!!!

Oh! It's SO exciting! I love reading about what is going on with you! I would love an update from kare as well!

I've got my fingers crossed for both of you that things work out well. I know the transition is tough, but I'm hoping that you are really enjoying your time together.

Thanks for the kind words Julie! '

have a great day all!

[Kare]

We're seeing our DS for four days every weekend. We're planning a full week in July, but we'll have to miss one weekend to do it. We're hoping to have him move in full time in August.

He seems to be adjusting well. We seem to be having some problems --mostly to do with his ADHD (he's very impulsive). We did get a book on it, and it describes him to a tee. It suggests a point system where he gets points for taking a shower, picking up his clothes, etc., and then he can turn in points to watch tv, go on the computer, etc. It is complicated, but might work for him. Has anyone had any experience with ADHD?

I think it will be easier when he is here full time. He can be very polite, sweet, do what he is told, and then another time, he is argumentive--of course he is 13 years old--that is an age they start testing you.

JL--my thoughts are with you hoping you get a match soon!
Szypzz-glad everything is going so well!

Has anyone had any experience with ADHD?

Oh yes! My now 13 year old brother has severe ADHD. He does best with a routine (I'm sure you've heard that before!) he also needs transition time to do things.

If his bedtime is ten, tell him at 9 that he has 30 minutes to turn off the tv, at 9:15 a reminder, at 9:30 a time to brush....

We started doing this with J. when he was younger and it helped his life immeasurably.

Also, homework is done first thing when he gets home. No exceptions.

I haven't lived with J in 4 years, so my ideas might be a bit behind the times for your needs.

I am glad to hear that things are going well for your family!

[szypzz]

Well another great weekend!! We picked the kids up at 11:30 on Sat. and then went to lunch with Grandma (my mom) and then the greatest part: we brought them home for their first overnight visit!!!

They did great in the car. The ride was awful, we got stuck at a closed freeway so back tracked and came home another way, so it took almost 3 hours to get home, but we made it. We had crayons, coloring books, reading books, and a few small toys in the car. We may be new to parenting, but we are not amateurs when it comes to babysitting. ;-) We sang "camp" songs. We tried to make the best of it and it went well.

When DD and DS got to the house they were ecstatic. They are very happy to each have their own room. They both loved all the hand-me-down toys from DH and my childhood's. We didn't have anything else planned for "entertainment" because we figured they would just be spending the whole time exploring the house.

We did have a few presents for them too. DD, the artist, got a sketch book, a travel whiteboard, Power Puff pencils and pens, and a Power Puff pencil bag set. DS, the boy on the go, got a take-apart dirt bike, 2 books, and a Lego set. They still seemed to like our old toys better though.

Even Alex (the grumpy old cat) was on good behavior this weekend. The kids were warned before hand about him and to let him come up to them, not to chase him and NEVER to pick him up. He let them pet him for awhile but if they got to loud or rough he hissed and they left him alone. So it looks like they will be getting along well. Of course the kids were so excited
about their rooms they didn't have all that much time to terrorize Alex. ;-)

We had to be back to their foster home by 2:00 on Sunday for their foster sister's graduation party, so it was sort of a short stay. But that was probably best for the whole "transitioning" process. We made it as "normal" a stay as possible. I was planning on cooking but, we ended up getting a pizza for dinner since we were so late getting to the house. They had showers at 8:00 and bed at 9:00 with bedtime stories and tucking in, of
course. They both slept well and neither woke up during the night.

We were up before the kids and downstairs deciding what to make for breakfast when DH said that he thought he heard the pitter-patter of little feet. He went upstairs and saw DS diving back into bed. (too cute...hehehehe) DH whispered to him, "DS, are you awake." and DS said yes from under all the covers. DH told him he could get up and he did. DD was still asleep and slept for about another 1/2 hour.

I made french toast and bacon for breakfast. We all went to church and they were introduced to some new people. We tried to get back in time for the kids to call Grandpa (DH's dad) and sing happy birthday before he left for church, but unfortunately we missed him, but he did have a very cute message waiting for him on the answering machine.

We only had a couple hours to kill until we had to leave for the party. We wrapped the present and wrote out a card. The kids played outside for a short time, but mostly they just explored their rooms. DD was moving things around "redecorating" already. DS just had toys everywhere! They were very good about cleaning their rooms before they left. DD made her
bed and DS and I made his. Although I get the feeling that bed making is something they usually do. ;-) But they are VERY neat with their toys. I know that their foster mom is strict about that.

It was weird to be at the party for me, but the kids had a great time. They went swimming and kept introducing us as their mom and dad. That part was great. Their foster worker was there to "observe" us with the children. (We still get to pick them up next week, so I guess it went well. ;o) )

The hardest part, as always was the leaving. DS did his little whining about not wanting us to go, but then we told him we'll pick him up from foster camp on Friday and all the fun he'll have etc. and he was better. (But I'm not convinced that he doesn't think that today is Friday...;-) ) DD was the one ready to have a melt down this week. She was getting herself all worked up and the camp thing wasn't working. She followed us to the car, but luckily DS was playing with one of the dogs and was fine. The good part is that she is older and we finally had to just tell her that we will miss her and that she was getting herself all upset and making it harder than it had to be. That we wanted her to have fun at camp and that we would be there to pick them up on Friday. She promised to "try" to have fun and finally said goodbye.

It took all I had not to just put them both in the car and head for home, but I think that might hurt our chances at the
adoption hearing. (just kidding)

This week will probably be harder on us then them. They are going to be having a great time at camp and we won't be able to make our nightly phone calls to them. It's the highlight of our days.

Well, that's it in a nut shell, so more fun and exciting details to come next week... Thanks to everyone for their kind words and encouragement!!

[lambeausam]

Sounds like everyone enjoyed the weekend! Will next weekend's visit be the last transition visit?

Best wishes to all of you!

[szypzz]

Will next weekend's visit be the last transition visit?

I wish. It looks like this is going to drag out for a while. They are still getting all the paperwork together for the state. Everyone is on board for the kids to be here permanently by the time school starts. We were hoping to have them placed the first weekend in August and actually I have most of August off for that specific reason, but that doesn't seem to be anyone else's plan. I just think it's too much for the kids (and us) to go thorugh this weekend thing for 2 more months. But I obviously don't get the say. If anyone has any advice on how I can make this happen quicker, please let me know.

Thanks!!!

it's so exciting!!! I love reading your updates!!

[Kare]

How exciting! I wish I knew of a faster way also. I was told that ipaperwork is taking longer due to cut-backs in the State. It's great that you know theywould rather be with you--they're already attaching!

Our DS seems to go into a different mode when he has to lead. When we get to our drop-off destination, he just gets his stuff and doesn't say much at all. (I think he has difficulty saying good-bye.) We know he likes it here, his therapist has said as soon as he gets back, he wants to know when he is going again. They also said his mood is lighter, he's joking more, etc. He really wanted to stay a whole week, so we planned one in July--though we have to miss one weekend to do it.

I'm feeling grumpy today. I wish MARE would be updated. My CW says it was just updated, but it's been a couple of weeks since they added new children.

It's been almost 6 months since we started the adoption process and it feels like it is just dragggggging along. I thought we would have a match by now since so many children are waiting.

I need to be patient and know that it will happen at the right time.

[szypzz]

Sorry that you are feeling grumpy! It's a long, difficult process no matter where you are in it, but the waiting is the hardest for sure.

I just wanted to let you know, in case you didn't, that the Mare site is only updated with new children on/around the 15th of each month. Any updates other than that are only removals of adopted children. The updates coincide with the printing of the new Mare books so that internet users don't have an advantage over non-internet users. So there won't be any new children until the 15th/16th of this month.

BTW - We totally "lucked out" with our kids. We were inquiring about a boy and he wasn't really a match but his AW asked ours if we would be interested in our kids. We had seen them on the web site, but from the general info there weren't sure that we were a match so had never inquired about them....and now we claim them as our own.

I guess the point is - when it's meant to be it will happen and don't count out a child just because of the info on the Mare site. If the child(ren) speak to you call and get the real scoop, then make your decision. It doesn't hurt just to inquire and for us it was the miracle we were waiting for.

when it's meant to be it will happen

This is so true.

I wish the MARE site were updated more frequently though. It's the children who lose out! They end up spending more time in foster homes instead of with families who are waiting for them.
The internet is available free of charge at every library for people to access.

Also, I thought we were meeting with our CW today to discuss a child. I emailed her this morning and she told me the meeting is NEXT Wednesday. not today as we'd planned.

Ah well, I can spend more time working in the yard today.

Happy Fourth of July!

Our CW stopped in yesterday and dropped off the file on the 7 year old boy we are interested in. It's a HUGE file, 3 inches thick at least. I read through everything, DH read through most of it. There is one area in particular that worries us, but we will discuss it with the caseworker next week.

Have a safe and happy holiday!

Talk to you soon!

[itznett]

I totally understand your frustration with MARE. I started the whole adoption process a year ago in January. It wasn't until March of this year until I found my boys. Things have gone like wild fire since then. We have had weekend visits at my home almost every weekend for the past couple of months. They should be placed with me within the next couple of weeks.

My boys are 5 and 7 but have birthdays coming up soon. Keep your chin up. I've been there my friend. If you need to chat. email me... itznett@yahoo.com

I appreciate the positive thoughts.

What makes me really mad is how slowly this system works. These kids should be removed asap and it should be harder for abusive parents to get their children back. The abuse the kids endure while parents get their sh!t together is shameful.

done venting.....I had a great holiday, hope you all did too!