Kare - I'm glad to hear things are going well. It sounds like this was a better weekend than the last?

Szy? Where are you darlin?

[szypzz]

Sorry...busy week!

The meeting went well. We really like their foster mom and workers. We had all our questions answered and DH and I didn't even have to discuss it more, we both knew that this is what we want. We get to meet the kids on 6/12 and we're SO EXCITED!!!

Their adoption worker told the kids yesterday. We weren't sure how they were going to take the news because they like where they are, but it went even better than expected. The adoption worker is very happy with how the children reacted (each appropriate for their age.) It's just so hard to wait until next week. The best thing is that we already know that we get to see them on the 14th too!!

It still hard to believe that we are going to be someone's Mom and Dad!!!!

Kare - Sounds like things are going well!! Keep us as informed as you can. Belive me, I understand how crazy it gets, but just know we're all pulling for you and your family.

Great news Szy! Thanks for the update!

[szypzz]

Well today is the big day. WE MEET THE CHILDREN!!! I'm so excited and scared and nervous and happy and curious and so many more things all at once. I feel like I could toss my cookies at any minute!! I have 3 more hours to get through before the travelling starts and I don't see how I'm going to make it to then. It's worse than Christmas Eve when you're a child!!!!

And if it's this bad for me what are they going through?? They've known since last Thursday that we're coming today. I feel so bad for them to have to have known for so long. Too much time to fantasize about the "perfect family" and then we're going to show up. What a disappointment....heeheeeheee.

We know we see them again on Sat, which feels good to know. And we know that they should be placed with us before school starts, but other than that everything is unknown. How many visits at the foster home, when can they see our house, when can they stay over night, when can they just stay??

I've had WAY TOO MUCH time to think lately and it's driving me crazy. Thanks for listening to my ranting...it helps to get it out in writing. All responses will be greatly appreciated, cuz at least it will give my brain something to do besides make up new scenarios... lol

[Just Julie]

I've had to read these posts in a rush this AM, and I can't keep it straight who is who right now. Life is hectic with school ending; I'm a teacher.

I hope you all are making copies of your posts in journals or on your computers to show your kids when you finally get them or when they get a bit older. Your enthusiasm about their arrivals is so poignant, and they would be touched to read your concerns and how much you looked forward to them joining your families. It makes me cry. OK, I'm also missing my dear son whom we got only two years ago at the end of his senior year and is now studying abroad for the summer.

Blessings to you!

[mckenna]

i am so excited for you!! i know how excited i would get when i got a call about a foster child and i really only got a couple hours of notice. the amount of time you are waiting must be making you crazy. i will be excited to hear about the visits. hope things go well.

[szypzz]

I'm (ok both DH and I are) in love!!! With two of the best kids EVER! :-D

Thursday was nerve wrecking and sort of staged, but we really like the kids. DD is so petite and very talkative. We broght small picture albums to each child and they really poured over them. Our adoption worker said that they might be too excited to even really concetrate on the pictures, but they were very interested. I think DD was trying to memorize each person in the whole book!! And they really were interested in what their rooms looked like. We told DD that she would be able to help with the decorating of her room and that went over very well. She is so smart and very quick to pick up on things. DS was quieter (cuz DD talks, and talks, and talks) but was interested in the pictures and talked when he had the chance.

Saturday started with us going to get McDonald's to take to the park. They, especially DS, wanted to play in the Play Place. We told them they could, but only until the food came. So DH stayed with them and I went to get the food - which took like 5 mins. When we told them that it was time to go, they both came down and got their shoes on without any problem, no whining to stay longer, nothing. Then we ate in the park and played in the
park and played with bubble guns and DD and DH made a teepee from sticks they found. DS didn't want us to take care of the bubble guns, he wanted to keep his with him (who could blame him!) but after a little whining (and not a big tantrum) from him we talked him into leaving them with us. We had them from 11:30 - 4.

Then yesterday we met them at their church and had potluck with all the little old ladies there. The kids are starting to get very excited about being adopted and they loved all the "grandmas" at church making a big fuss over it. Then it was off to the park for more bubbles. DS was very happy to see his bubble gun again and made very little rumbling this time when we told him we would keep it until the next visit. Then it was bowling
and then ice cream with Grandma (my mom) and lastly dinner and home by 6:30.

Saturday was still a little awkward but fun, but yesterday was great and they are starting to relax and be more "real" .... i.e. "tell him to stop annoying me" and stuff ... it was what we're were hoping for.... to catch them not being so "perfect". But they are great kids and have awesome imaginations and the best manners... always "thank you" and "excuse me." We are so happy!! The hardest part was taking them back to their house last night and having to drive home without them.

So now it's time to start getting ready for next weekend. We can't wait!!!

Can anyone tell me in their experience how long the back and forth will go until they are here permenantly. That's our whole next set of questions....when do we get to keep them....

[Just Julie]

szypzz,

What a week you've had! Consider mailing cards to the kids for them to receive in the middle of this week. Sorry you can't have them right away.

[szypzz]

Funny you should mention that...we already did. Mailed them this morning. The children are at overnight camp until Friday, but they'll each have their own letter when they get back. I threw some stickers in too, just for fun.

We tried calling them last night around 7, but no one answered the phone. I was trying not to interrupt dinner (which we don't know what time they eat.) Everyone was probably outside since it was such a nice night.

Does anyone else call? Since we don't get to see them except for weekends I was looking forward to at least having short telephone conversations. I guess I need to set up a scheduled time with their foster mom.

[Kare]

Szypzz,
Everything sounds great! I'm so happy for you. Since I'm working with a residential treatment center, everything is probably different for me. We can't call, the child has to call us--and only on Mondays and Wednesdays! Our DS has never called--not sure if he forgets or if he feels uncomfortable. I'm sure, though, that you could talk to the FM and arrange a time to call and talk to your kids. We, unfortunately, won't be able to have our DS move in until paperwork is complete--takes about 6-8 weeks (this is because we are not licensed for foster care). If you are licensed, you probably are just waiting until the children feel comfortable, especially since they probably have attachments to their foster family. It is difficult to see them for a short time, and then return them.

An Update: Our DS is doing well, seems to be adjusting. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, which seems to be the most difficult part. I can't imagine him sitting in classroom all day--he has been in a contained classroom, which he does well in. We're considering keeping him in the 8th grade--I don't feel he's emotionally ready for high school. He acts a lot younger than his peers. I have to say my DH is wonderful--he is so patient with him--seems to always know what to do in a situation.
Our Social Worker also has been a godsend. She always has good advice. One thing, she mentioned, was to send him back with something from our home, like a book, to make him feel he is part of the family. This was a great idea!

[Just Julie]

Golly Kare, we did the whole foster care licensing thing in about 3-4 weeks, and we were going after a specific child. We didn't mail any of the paperwork but drove it all around town ourselves. Maybe it would be faster to get licensed! About the kids phoning you, I taught at his high school, but my son was afraid to come meet me for fear of being rejected. I would think it would be hard for a young kid to initiate a phone call with relative (get it?!) strangers.

Szypzz, keep writing the kids. My son has had my notes to him from before he moved here on display in his room for over two years. Everyone likes mail! They might save them forever.

Blessings to you.

[szypzz]

Thanks for the replies!! I just wish we lived a little closer so we could visit them more often. I also really wish that I could get them for visits at our house sooner. I know that this process takes time, but it's hard to get a real sense of how "real life" will be when we have to find something to do all the time. This weekend we should be at the beach for the better part of Saturday and we're going to grill there and I'm hoping to talk to them about what they think adoption is all about and just get to know them better. Last weekend seemed like go, go, go. It would be nice to have them here so we could "hang out" at the house. I just don't want them to think that everyday will be restaurants and bowling and movies....I want them to know that they are going to have homework to do when school starts and that it is going to be real life, not always fun, fun, fun, go, go, go (although there will be lots of fun and things to do too!!) But I shouldn't complain, as DD says - 3 more Saturdays, 3 more Saturdays until we get to go to your house.

Thanks for hearing me out and keep up the replies! It's nice to have an outlet where people are going or went through similar experiences.

What happend to JL? Wonder if she's matched yet.....

I LOVED reading about all the excitement with the children!

Very happy stuff

Nope, not matched yet. Still waiting for our child to become available.

Szy - I didn't realize that these would be your first children. DH and I have battled IF for a couple of years and decided to do the adoption then hopefully have a baby, not the other way around like we'd planned.


Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, the site used to send me emails saying there are new posts, but I haven't received one in ages.

We have company (my SIL) coming in for the weekend, and we're relandscaping the front yard this week too. I'll be back next week, hopefully there will be more posts and updates!!

No postings here in the last week or so, does anyone have any news to share?

We are still waiting to be matched. I contacted several agencies today and forwarded our homestudy, I'm hoping to locate a match before the end of the summer!

I was so optimistic! I thought we would be matched by the end of May and moving in by August in time to start school in September! Sillly me!

[szypzz]

Well it was another awesome weekend!! We were at the beach the better part of Saturday and had quality family time. After the beach we went to visit my mom, brother, and his fiancee. On the ride over we were talking about school and I told DD that she'd be in middle school in our hometown, because it's 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th here. She was excited to learn that and wanted to
know if 9th was high school. I told her yes and then we figured out how old she would be when she was in high school. And then she asked, "And we'll still be living with you then, right?" I said, "Definitely yes."

The kid's really like spending time at Grandma's house and with Uncle C and Auntie D. That night we were able to take DD and DS to see fireworks in near their foster home. They didn't get home until about 10:30. DS was very proud of being brave and not letting the fireworks scare him this year.

The next morning we met the children at church. DS was still so tired, he slept for the whole service. DD wanted me to go to junior church with her, so I left DS sleeping on DH. DD and I went to junior church and came in third in the "find the bible passage" game. Then it was off to catch up with Uncle C and Aunt D to head over to the movie theater to watch "Finding Nemo." Everyone enjoyed it...adults and kids. Then it was
back to Grandma's house for pizza and some play time and then time to go home. When we pulled into their driveway DS whined, "No, not this house. I wanna go to your house." I almost couldn't take him into the house.

But we did and then was the long trek back home. We just found out that we have permission to bring the kids to our home for an overnight visit this Saturday. We are SO excited!!!

So that's the update....more to come next week!

jl...once you are matched things will start to move quite quickly and then not fast enough and then quickly again. When it happens it will be right and things will be great. Your child(ren) will be here, just have to wait for the right ones. I know it doesn't help much, but I know where you've been.