[georgeanne]

I have a friend that would like to find out about her birth mother because of her medical condition. She seems to think that her birth mother has something to do with D.E.S.! She has been to Doctor after Doctor and shes tired of being a lab rat, as she says. She has even had miscarrages as a result from whatever her birth mother was taking. Her female organs are not capable of ever bearing children. I really don't know any details on that. They wont tell her anything about her condition and I get frustrated. But, I truely don't know how she feels. I've told her that I think they should be able to open your records as a result of the neglect to her medically. Her mother will not tell her absoultly anything about it at all.But, her siblings have met and talked to their birth mother. How do you go about asking for them to open the sealed records? Any help that you can give me , I would greatly appreciate.

[angelleyes]

Hi Im really sorry to hear about your friend a way something might help is to give her birthplace and birthdate,And continuewhat your doing as a good friend.
Im a mother in search of trying to find my daughter, the only reason Im resonding is 1 Icare and 2 my health has not been good all my life and I have a big concern for my daughters health.
I wish you both luck and dont give up, your a good friend , and if you can get the state she was born .
Good Luck

[georgeanne]

Her Birthday is August 24,1964 and State is Orange County California. She seems to think its 1964, but theres a contraversy with her B-day.Either 1963 or 1964. Her mother said it was 1963. But then I think her mother is also hiding something.

[angelleyes]

Hi ,its me again I dont understand why a adopted- parent would not bewilling to give any information thats is needed. That just does'nt make any sense to me at all. I hope the best for you and your friend.
I just pray and hpe that ther is more adopted parents that are willing to give any info. that is needed. Let your friend know she is in my prayers, your a true friend.

If you or she needs to talk feel free.
Tonia

[hipretty]

I can't tell you how to find your friends birth mother, but I had to respond here. If her mother took DES this is not a situation where her birthmother abused drugs. Or her mother did this to her. Her mother was just as victimized!!!!!

This was a medication given to women to hold onto their pregnancies. She must have cared for her unborn child. Or she would not have taken it.


Unfortunately women for centuries (between DES and various strengths of birth control pills {which I think is less than half of it's original dosage, or something like that} to Hormone Replacement Therapy today...have been guinea pigs and have trusted their doctors...(who unfortunately knew not much more then the women themselves did) and were duped by salesmen from pharmacuetical companies peddling a drug, touting it's merits as a miracle drug, when in reality it was never even tested........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not only that, it causes problems in the female (and sometimes male) children. And if anyone thinks the effects are not lasting, they are now looking at 3rd generation exposure.

I am unclear what you mean by this.

[quote]
Her mother will not tell her absoultly anything about it at all.But, her siblings have met and talked to their birth mother.


Do you mean her Adoptive Mom will tell her nothing at all or the Birth Mom?

Because the adoptive mom probably would not even know this. This is not somthing on the birth certificate. It MaY have been written in the hospital admissions paperwork (the paper registering admittance into the hospital) if her BMom, even thought to write it.

On the paperwork they ask "any medications". Don't forget not only was the drug not known to be damaging (until those female children were older) but if she only took it during the first or second trimester, she may not have even written down on the paperwork on the delivery date in the third trimester.

It was told to be a miracle drug, as harmless as a prenatal vitamin, and even more beneficial.

Her siblings are her birth siblings and they know the mother??? Does the Birth mother not want to talk to your friend.

IF, and it sounds indeed, like there is a chance from what you are describing, she was exposed to DES, and if she CanNot get her hands on the proof, (and many women not adopted can not get there hands on their mothers records, 30-40 years later) she should proceed to seek health treatments as if she was exposed.

She can get the same medical attention she requires if she tells her doctors, she is adopted and her birthmother was rumoured to take DES.

This is very important, this is not just a matter of miscarriages, there is also an increased importance for mamographys and pap smears. Her BMom is also at risk for health problems due to her exposure, and needs the same medical care.

I wish her the strentgh to act as if she was exposed...even if she can not verify it, it will help her to stay on top of her health and lessen her risks in the long run if she was.

The doctors who treat her as a lab rat should be asking if her mother took anything while she was pregnant. If they don't, she should get new doctors, if they do, and she says yes I was probably DES exposed, they will have to treat her as a patient, taking control of her health instead of an experiment. Women have been experimented on enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish her much health and peace with this. You are a dear friend to take this seriously.

Love & Light, Tee

[georgeanne]

love & light tee,
My friend walked in while i was reading the replies of the posted message that i wrote and sshe wasn't informed that i posted for her. But, you seem to know alot about this subject. and she was wondering & spooked by your responce, her reason probably was because of the facts about the wonderdrug. Now have you had any experience with this drug and why out of all the messages you responded to this one.

[hipretty]

I respond to a lot of messages here. When I said:
[quote]
I can't tell you how to find your friends birth mother, but I had to respond here.

I did not mean I have OnLy responded here. I respond frequently on this board.

I just feel very strongly about natural methods, and I feel that the medical community will usually not stress to their patients natural methods, and they often give out meds indescriminately. Never considering the repercussions.

An off topic example: I have a special needs son who is Not on any meds, but in his school there are horror stories from moms that have put their kids on ritalin, adderall, resperdall etc and the kid did not do well on the meds. Instead of the dr taking the kid off the meds they increased them and increased them until the kids freaked out. Then and only then were they taken off. These are Kindergarten children. And it was not just an isolated case. Why should it have gone that far.

I am sure many women on this board are suffering the repercussions of DES with their repeated misarriages, or infertility (of no apparent reaon) whether they realize it or not.

I don't know why your friend was spooked by my post, I am sorry and that would never be my intention. She was very insightful to suspect the cause of her female issues may be DES. That, without the help of the doctors who have made her feel like a lab rat.

I am merely saying if she is not getting anywhere (with the doctors, amom, siblings & bmom) at this point, with all of her suspicions, she should now move forward and act as if she was indeed exposed.

To stay on top of her female visits, breast and pap (because with all women there is a risk of breast and female cancers) but because DES is like having had hormones early and it pays to be careful to minimize the risk.

Again I never meant to spook or anything. I am merely saying this: Never give up hope, to find her birth mom, where there is life there is hope to find her, but in case that does not happen for a long time, I would not want her to not take her suspicions seriously, because her focus is on finding her Mom.

She may not have access to her Mom's info, but her own health, and history is accessible to her. I am just trying to encourage her to take that knowledge, and her health into her own hands. I am sorry!

Love & Light, Tee