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Old 02-15-2008, 07:13 PM
Kat-L Kat-L is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2005
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Anyone adopt a child with Down's Syndrome?

The agency where I adopted Hanna has several potential placements of caucasian baby boys with Downs. I had always wondered if I was called to do this and now her agency (that I really love) has not one but several babies who are unmatched. In addition, they are looking for a family in my state for one of the babies. Plus, I just bought a new crib for my fs's room because I was going to go on the active list for another baby-so I'm ready for a newborn placement.

I have outstanding medical insurance, a wonderful daycare provider and a flexible job. A super sweet lady from my church has a child with Down's and I love the kid. He's the sweetest kid (maybe 13) on the planet. But he is considered fairly high functioning.

The downside? Well.. he will probably never live independently. As a single mom, I have to wonder who will care for him when I'm gone. I don't want to burden my other children with a special needs sibling. Also, if I die before he's raised, I honestly don't think anyone in my family would want a special needs child. Each of my brothers has their hands full with their own children (mild special needs & behavior problems) and one of sisters has a husband who doesn't like kids. The other has a large family of her own and it would be a struggle to add a child with downs in addition to my other children-plus her husband would probably put his foot down and say no, it would just be too many kids for them to add to their own family.

So even with great life insurance, I'd have to worry about what would happen to him if something happened to me. I suppose I could live forever-but I'm worried that God might not agree to it.

Has anyone here adopted a child with down's? Any thoughts? I truly torn about this. It just seems so odd that this agency would have so many potential placements when I've had this at the back of my mind for a while now. Also, financially & physically, it just happens to be a good time to expand the family.

Last edited by Kat-L : 02-15-2008 at 07:17 PM.
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Old 02-15-2008, 09:14 PM
Withay's Avatar
Withay Withay is offline
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Kat -

I haven't adopted any children, yet but wanted to respond anyway.

I believe you are right in thinking so thoroughly about what would happen to this precious little soul if something happened to you. Thank you for that.

That being said, if you are feeling like God has placed this opportunity in front of you I would pray fervently about it. Is there someone in your church who would be willing to be there for this little guy if something happened. Perhaps you could ask the parents of the Downs Syndrome child at your church if they have any advice. You might ask your siblings about it too. You may be very surprised at the answers you get.

Blessings to you.

Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments,
because you know they produce quarrels.

2 Timothy 2:23

Mom to:
AS - S
AS - N

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Old 02-26-2008, 06:14 PM
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rtsmom rtsmom is offline
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When we were on the books, waiting for a baby with Down syndrome, we were offered a baby with Rubinstein-Taybi syndrome (a lot of similar manifestations as Down syndrome). We said yes and 5 years later they called us about another baby with Rubinstein-Taybi syndrome (we were not planning to adopt again) and we said yes again.

They're both amaziing little boys and we love them dearly.

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Old 02-27-2008, 06:44 PM
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chrisandaaron chrisandaaron is offline
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I think you have some very valid conserns. I think these are also common problems. Since Down's is much more prevelant in children of "older" parents, even bioparents run into the same problems. I would suggest looking for a support group or internet forum for parents of children with Down's and see how they deal with these issues.
Hoping to adopt since Dec. 2004
MOM to PJ homegrown Nov. 8th, 2005
MOM to TD born Feb. 6th, 2006, joined our family Feb. 27th, 2006
MOM to KR born May 20th, 2008, in our arms May 21st, 2008
Am I NUTS or what?
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Old 02-27-2008, 08:55 PM
Erin_1712 Erin_1712 is offline
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My little brother has downs and because i am 11 years his senior I am listed as his next guardian and if I am unable my aunt. Also even though you have good life insurance you cannot leave any money or anything to them because thegovernment will take it. Therefore I get 2/3 of the assets and the house my mother owns. The other 1/3 goes to the youngest brother. The house is for my downs brother to always have a home of his own if he can function fully enough to live there and enough financial support is left in the will/life insurane to cover the cost of a living arrangement such as a group home or other type of living that he may need to have. I have already discussed with my husband that any house we will own(like the one we have now) must have a basement suit so that if possible my brother could live in the suit but I could help with groceries bills and safety. But he would have his own space and have some responsibilty. I have worked in group homes and for assisted living and it is great but i think keeping him close would be the best for us. you need to search your heart in this. My little brother has made my life so different in such good ways that I would not trade hi for the world even thoughI know things will have to be different for us than most families.

How old are you children talk to them about adding a child with handicaps. You may be surprised that even though they are young they may be willing to open their hearts and when the time comes (in many many years I hope) They need to decide how things will work once your gone they will fight over who gets to take care of him. Also making proper arrangements well in advance and talking to family will give you peace of mind. And remember people can surprise you
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Old 05-18-2008, 06:48 PM
Hey Nonny Hey Nonny is offline
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I have not adopted a child with Down Syndrome but I have a bio child with Down Syndrome.

There are lots of things to think about and I would be happy to share any info with you. There is also a lot of info on the web about DS.

More and more, children with DS are develping into independant and capable adults. While many may never live entirely independantly, as the population ages, there are more and more places with assiseted living services for then and the ability to live a more assertive life. Therapies and education are coming along in leaps and bounds as well. When you have a child with DS they are automatically eligable for medical assitance, educational and develpomental help for the rest of their lives....

I have to say what sounds so cliche, but they are really are such a joy to have and such loving people. Our lives are much better for being a part of this "club".

Mom of four
2 bio kids / 2 adopted
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