[dpen6]

The following appeared on Boston.com:
Headline: To tell the truth
Date: February 4, 2008

"MEDFIELD - Cara Birrittieri is set to have a talk with her
3-year-old daughter any day now, something that has been on her mind
since Victoria was just a fetal ultrasound image."
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To see this recommendation, click on the link below or cut and paste it
into a Web browser:


To tell the truth - The Boston Globe


Not sure if I am doing this right but if you click on the link it should bring you to the articule. I personally see this as offensive to any donar concieved or adoptee that the parents or donars don't think the person created is important. Its proof positive that its about the "baby" and someones need to be mommy more then the truth of the orgins of the person most impacted. The sad thing is that genral society would agree that its ok not to tell the child that they don't carry the same genes as their mother or father , then they grow up and have children of their own and its all based on a lie.
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[thanksgivingmom]

I read the article (so congrats, your link worked!) and was really disturbed by the idea that the child would never know.

[Oceans]

I read this as well. There are so many ways a child can find out even the best kept secrets - probably more than I can imagine. Too many "real life" stories has shown this is not healthy for the child. Not good...

[Caedwyn]

Yeah, God forbid that these 'parents' should care more about their children's health & well being than they do about themselves. Disgusting. Simply disgusting. They should all be ashamed of themselves.

[dpen6]

Originally Posted by Caedwyn

Yeah, God forbid that these 'parents' should care more about their children's health & well being than they do about themselves. Disgusting. Simply disgusting. They should all be ashamed of themselves.

Barring the sarcasm, how the heck are they caring about there childs well being by not telling them the truth of how they came to be?

It IS disgusting when a mother is more intersted in how SHE is seen as a mother then how the very person that was concieved JUST so this women can be a mother is not allowed to know the truth about their very being?!

They are purposly being created so someone can be a mommy...at least in adoption ther is some varience of "best interst of the child" but in this kind of situation a human is being created BY another human to fulfill someones mother needs...then that mother thinks its ok to lie....

Sorry, but they are caring about themselves more.

[bromanchik]

The numbers are even higher among children conceived by sperm donation. Some say as high as 80%. There is an adult group fighting for the rights of donor "children" for full disclosure.

[Dickons]

Dpen,

Society is still not understanding the void created when secrets are kept from the child, whether it is through closed adoption, sperm or egg donors. I have read blogs and message boards from donor children and it is just as heart breaking as reading the posts here from adoptees.

In truth, there is even more concern for the children when they become adults: Multiple donations means a much higher chance of marrying a sibling. The inability to obtain access to medical information (there are no court paper trails). The emotional impact to the child that the mother or father choose to have a child without the forethought to insist on it being an 'open' donation, what would that say to a child, 'I wanted a baby and really did not care what happened down the road to you enough to guarantee access, it was all about me'.

This area truly needs a strong advocate within the law makers of countries. Many countries have outlawed the 'closed' donations, hopefully the rest of the countries will follow their lead.

Kind regards,
Dickons