[ThanksALatte]

So I just bought The Primal Wound the other night. I am an adoptee, and also a Child/Adolescent Development Psychology Major, so I personally find the book intriguing. I had heard so many positive things about it, and was kind of surprised that so many don't like it... :-p But, I can see a lot of where everyone is coming from. What I wonder is if everyone who has been adopted does indeed experience the trauma, but, like any other high stress incident, the reaction and severity of the reaction depends highly on the person? Or if it has something to do with when you were adopted as well? Because I was adopted as an infant...abandoned and in foster care by 1 day old, in the US by 5 months. And a lot of what Verrier described is me right now... But if I were older and able to verbalize and maybe process in a slightly more mature way I wonder whether things would be different and if I'd have handled things differently.
Anyway, sorry if all of this has been said/asked before. But these are my initial thoughts after reading the first third or so of the book. And I think it is somewhat of an eye-opener for some because so many times it's emphasized how greatful I should be because I have been placed with a good family and have been spared being a statistic in an orphanage, and some of the pain that comes along with it is overlooked. (Heck, until last year when I did a research paper, I never realized that I might have to grieve the loss of my biological mother).

But... my question is what other books are good to read as far as adoption therapy/issues/etc? I am beginning to think about possibly looking into adoption therapy or something along those lines as a career, but would like some more information first.

His
Latte

[Growing]

Some other books I've read and loved as an adoptee...
Journey of the Adopted Self - Betty Jean Lifton
Ithaca - Sarah Saffian
Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Parents Knew - Sherrie Eldridge
Outer Search, Inner Journey - Peter Dodds
The Other Mother - Carol Schaeffer
Whose Child? - Kasey Hamner

[kerry lynn]

[quote]What I wonder is if everyone who has been adopted does indeed experience the trauma, but, like any other high stress incident, the reaction and severity of the reaction depends highly on the person? Or if it has something to do with when you were adopted as well?[quote]

I think this inquiry would be more appropriate and glean far more information if the question was relating the level of reaction & perceived trauma to the era in which a child was adopted. There are two distinct "classes", or types of adoptees that will give 2 distinctly different answers: the Closed child and the Open offspring. The hidden little secret relinquished prior to the 1970's is an adult who has little more than a wish upon a star, or 3 clicks on ruby slippers to make sense & reason of a situation that was considered taboo, and often dismissed as "unimportant". The young adult today who was part of the Open-minded child-friendly modified version of adoption, is more likely to offer a more positive, albeit still somewhat confused, acceptance of Self and Situation. Clearly, these factors alone, affect the statistical findings your informal question seeks as its answer.

Complicate matters more by asking, of those who were adopted, how many were put into abusive homes? Which came first: the trauma of being abandoned by birthparents, or the trauma of being abused by people who claimed to be Parents?

There is neither Rule, nor Formula that can determine a person's sense of well-being or traumatic overload, based on the singular birth & childhood experience. Perception is all an individual has, especially if that person was kept by someone other than the woman who bore that child. I would think taking a survey of whether blondes have more fun would produce far more "accurate and reliable" findings than asking WHAT causes an individual to ignite or ignore the observations made in PW.

Besides, personal testamonies or experiences mean very little to the Supply and Demand Trade industry. We are all just a Number to the outside world. Only a chosen few of "The Chosen" have the cold stark truth that all that does matter & remains important is the preservation of that number, as it must be locked & sealed until that number is called to return to the ashes & dust from which it originated.

On a more personal note, comparing one's adoption to "any other high stress incident" is a sure-fired way to shun many adoptees who want, seek and NEED a theraputic mileu to bridge the gap between the primal and personal wounds a person may have. Not all of us have been spared the statistical reality of being orphaned, adopted, and then abused.