[sherryk]

Wow, the time does fly!

Of course, I was a mere child when I got married! LOL I married my college sweetheart after dating four years. We didn't have children until we were married four and a half years (we have three bio and one adopted). So, I knew my husband really well before kids came into the picture.

How long have some of you been married? How long did you wait to have kids? When in your marriage did you adopt? How has having kids affected you marriage?

Blessings to you,
sherryk

[karabur]

We married very very young I love being married. We have been married over 3 years (9/99) We are now saving up to adopt so it will be over 4 years that we are married when the baby comes. I hope not 5. We planned on waiting longer but now we got the baby itch. we wanted to wait until I got my career on track but now I am looking for a job that could lead to a career. I married my childhood sweetheart and best friend.

[sweetnoodle]

I've been married eleven years. We have two children. Both of them were not "planned" but we are so happy it happened that way. We were young, and I'm glad I had them when I was early 20's. I think I am more experienced and mature now, but physically not as capable. Our kids are a total blessing to us.

[khnath]

We have been married for 12 1/2 years after dating in college for 3 years. It seems like we were just married yesterday in someways, and then there's life before baby which seems like a life time ago.

We brought our ds home on our 9th wedding anniversary He is almost 4 now and waiting for his little sister to come home. We're currently waiting on a referral for a baby girl from Guatemala, and should be getting our referral any time in the next 2 mos...at least we hope so.

We hope to start the process for a baby girl from China 2years after we get our first little girl home. And then our family will be complete. We wanted 3 kids before we turned 30 (but our infertility got in the way of that plan), and we had our first one right before we turned 31. We hope to have all three kids home by or before the time we turn 40 y.o.

What fun topic

[khnath]

"how did having kids affect our marriage?" We bickere all the time for the first few months. Partly because my husband was working out of state and was only for 2-3 a week, and I was a walking zombie being a single parent the majority of the time. Plus, we had 9 years where we were childfree and just adjusting to a new little person was a bit difficult. We knew our son would change our lives, what we didn't know was that he would rock our world. And we've been happily rockin' and rollin' ever since.

When I was finally brave enough to admit our difficulties a older and wiser friend explained that what we went through was pretty normal considering our circumstances.

[foreverbaby 2]

Hi!! I read this post`s, and thought it hit home, about now.
We were married for 10 yrs, and we were like newlyweds the whole time.
We wanted a child to fit into our happy home , so badly. Finally, we were lucky enough to be chosen to adopt our son!!
WOW!!!!!!!! You talk about a change in our marriage!! WHEW!!
The first few yrs. was busy.Wonderful yrs. being baby. The next couple yrs. ds and dh formed this wonderful bond between each other. He is such a Daddy`s boy!!!! I sometimes get jealous, because he IS such a Daddy`s boy. Sometimes.. I feel he doesn`t have any fun with me, or even want to be with me, because he IS such a Daddy`s boy!!(I sure hope this is normal behavior.)
DH and I can`t seem to find a moment, to talk to each other, without DS wanted our(HIS) attention.
I knew our lives would change, but I didn`t realize, just how much. Don`t get me wrong!! I don`t regret, any of it, I guess I just have alot of adjusting to do , still. DS is 5 now.
He is the rock of our world!!! Any advice?? Is my feeling left out, norm??Thanks!!

[Sarah0518]

We married relatively young also. I was 22 and still had a year to go in college. Lloyd was 25. He lost his job the same month I graduated college. We decided he hadn't been happy in that job anyway, so he started college part time. (It was all we could afford.) I know it was for the best because we are both very happy with where we are now in our jobs and life, but I do regret how long it caused us to wait on starting a family.

We'll be married 12 years next month. We spent a 1-1/2 years trying to biologically have a family, and a 1-1/2 years so far trying to adopt.

Can't really answer the question on how a baby will change things yet. I know it will be a big adjustment after being just the two of us for so long, but oh how I want that change!!!

Today is my birthday and it is so depressing. Another year gone by without being a parent. Everyone wants to know what I want for my birthday, and the only thing I truly want is the one thing they can't give me.

Sorry to be such a sad sack. I know my time will come. Some times it's just hard in the meantime.

[foreverbaby 2]

I`m sorry you had a depressing b`day.. I remember those days!! AAHHH... Wanting a child ..so much, that nothing else would do!!! I wish you luck, in adopting a child soon!!
I know it can be aggravating at times.. They say, the "waiting" is the hardest part!!!

[Sylvester]

Hi, we have been married 9 years this month. We also got married very young, we were both 20. We had our first child at age 23, WOW were we young!!! I think due to our ages we fought a lot when she first came home. I didn't deal well with the lack of sleep!!!! We had our 2nd child when we were 26. We did much better as a couple through that one. It was a very difficult placement so we had to be there for each other. I hope at least to have one more in about 2 years. My husband is very happy with the two we have. I am working on him though!!!!

[mj77]

Hi All,
2 1/2 hours until our 7th anniversary. We got married kind of young as well. Dh proposed to me the day before my senior year in high school. I was 19 and he was 20 when we married. We have been together for 10 years total now (16 and 17 when we met). We like to look back at ourselves and talk about what we used to be like and where we are now. We both never thought we'd be where we are today (it's all good) .We have had such an awesome marriage and it gets better daily.

We started trying for a family in mid 1998 (year after we were married) whether it be adoption or birthing children or both. We started the adoption process then stopped due to numerous things in our lives. Then in 2000 we started the process again as well as became serious about conception. We weren't concieving and after tests and so on, we let it go. This was in about 2001, 4 months before our son was placed with us. He is almost 3 now.

Our son has been a blessing in our marriage. We laugh more but definatley deal with more stress. It has really been fulfilling parenting him. I don't think it would've been this good of experience though if we hadn't had a good marriage before hand. Sorry for the long post All.

Melissa