[OregonCoast]

Hi:
Last night my husband was on kid duty. He had to pick our 10 yo son up from a friend's house, have him get into his football gear and drop him to practice. I was in charge of being at practice and getting son home.
When we arrived home, husband was outside finishing his packing for hunting. I asked son to get his stuff from dad's truck. Only thing there was the football gear bag. No school bag. No instruments. No lunch pail. Son was upset. Husband said it wasn't his responsibility.
My response was, obviously he forgot it at his friend's house. Knowing that he often rushes son to get ready and go, I asked if that was the case. Husband said no and again that it wasn't his responsibility. Excuse me, but isn't part of parenting "guidance"? I feel that husband should've said to son, "Do you have all your stuff?" OR realize, gosh, son goes to school and always takes a bag, instrument, etc. Shouldn't he have those now?
I held my tongue, called the friend's house to make sure the stuff was there then went myself and picked it up last night. Haven't said much to husband since. He left this morning for a week long hunting trip. Not the best way to leave things, but what frustrates me even more is that husband has identified with me the parameters of adopting a child. It includes age between 5 & 9 with mild to severe developmental delays. How is husband going to be able to cope with a child that is physically 8 or 9, but mentally/emotionally possibly only 3 or 4? "It's not my responsibility" isn't going to work.
Thanks for letting me vent!
OC

[HappyTwinsMom]

Sounds like hubby had his hunting trip on his mind, not his parenting responsibilities. Yes, it is his responsibility to make sure your son has what he needs. If he doesn't accept any responsibility as the parent, how is your son supposed to *learn* responsibility? Kids learn by seeing. At least mine do!

[OregonCoast]

Hi HappyTwinsMom:
Thanks for the reply. I seem to find myself stepping back and analyzing almost every interaction hubby has with bio 10 yo son, wondering how the situation would be if we do adopt another son. I believe children coming from the system need nurturing, understanding, etc. As hubby gets older, I see less of that in him. Guess I'm concerned how he will handle a child who may have issues. (I'm 32, he's 45...one reason I decided not to have another child)