[ferocity302]

Hello Everyone!

This might be unusual I have no idea.

My daughter is 11 and after my ex boyfriend left the house she started finding excuses to sleep in my bed.

I finally got her to clean her room and rearrange it to her own design and I even bought new things for her for christmas to decorate it the way she wants. (safari)

She has slept in her room since we did this a few times but still finds excuses once in a while to sleep with me. I don't want it to become a habit again.

We have never been alone as long as the kids have been small and so I know this is all new to both my kids not having a "dad" around the house. We've been alone for about 8 months now for the first time.

Any ideas on how to get her more comfortable in her room?

I have a bar in her window, a dream catcher in her window, she sleeps with a night light already.

Thank You so much!

[lucyjoy]

I assume you asked her about it. Nightmares maybe?
Affraid you might leave to? Did she get to say goodbye to the bfriend? My kids sleep with music. It drowns out the silence that can seem to loud and any creepy house noises. Does she maybe have something on her mind she's not sure how to ask about?

How about a sleeping bag in the floor of your room for awhile that she can crawl in at night if she feels the need to be with you. Have you laid down with her in her room while she falls asleep?

Hope things work out soon.

[ferocity302]

Thank You so much for the input...

She has slept with the radio on. She is very very glad the b/f is gone.

I know she has nightmares. When she does I talk to her about what it was that scared her and think of ways to reasure her that it is truely just a dream and that everything will be ok. I talk about what maybe we can do together to help her think of something else.

She does really good when she has a friend spend the night or if I let the kids sleep in the livingroom. It just seems she's afraid of being alone.

I have in turn asked her to come sleep with me if I have had a bad feeling or nightmare (ok mom needs the same help here. lol)

Maybe if it's not on a regular basis it's ok?

[tobeafamily]

If it's not every night, I wouldn't worry. 11 is a tough age, it's good that she feels she's safe with you.

IMHO

Regina

[lucyjoy]

If she's seekin you for comfort, I think it's fine. It's only a problem if it bothers you. If the nightmares become more frequent or more intense or if she starts clinging to you during the day-then I'd seek outside help or counseling. I don't thing its really all that abnormal for kids that age to have nightmares as its and awkward age. I think it's good that she knows you're there for her and that makes her feel safe. It means she's lucky and has a great mom.

[ferocity302]

Thank You all for your wonderful support.

I think it is just a phase for her (hoping) and that as she grows confidence and strength in knowing that she is in a safe home she will be in her own bed more and more.

I talked to my neighbor who happens to also be the brother of my landlord and he said he is going to make a special attachment to go on her window for her. Yes it will look like bars but she will be able to open her window (as she gets stuffy in her room in the summer) and still feel protected. Our home has no fence in the back and there is a main road with a sidewalk. He understands.

I am truely blessed with good friends and neighbors and he has stepped in a few times to help be the surrogate dad when my kids have needed it. His wife absolutely loves my kids too.