[nancynic]

night out?

and how often do you go out without the kids?

why do you think it's important to go out?

let's start a list!

NancyNic

[alicia hunter]

I just got to go out for dinner and a movie without her on friday night. It was wonderful!!! I didn't have to take anyone to the potty the whole time. I only leave her once every 2-3 months. This is mainly because I have trouble finding sitters I trust (i am PICKY) and she does not like me to leave her after being at daycare all day. When she called me Friday night crying and hyperventilating I felt horrible even though she was with my brother. He was sick so he just laid on the couch the whole time and she felt ignored. I always feel bad after I leave her for even just a few hours in the evening. I guess she is just kinda spoiled.

[nancynic]

Hi Alicia,

Glad to hear you had fun Friday night! I'm wondering how old your daughter is. I didn't go out much when my boys were really young either and looking back I wish I spent more time with my husband ...

I think there's a balance between caring for our children and caring for ourselves and relationships. However, when children are in child care during the day/week, it is difficult to leave them at night.

I think parenting is really about balance and honoring our children and ourselves.

Nancy Nic
Parent Forums Moderator

[alicia hunter]

She is 3. I am a single parent so I feel extra guilty about leaving her. I don't know why, she gets plenty of attention. In fact I have realized that if all my attention is not on her at all times she thinks something is wrong- I think it is time to get another baby. You were maybe confused about her age because I said she called me- my brother helped her.

[qs mom]

I'm a single mom to a 3 year old too. My son and I have been together for about 7 months.

I bowl 1 night a week. I leave at 6:30 and I'm home by 9:30 at the latest. He goes to bed at 8, so it's only an 1 1/2. My niece is 16 and BLESS HER, she's the greatest. The adore each other. She's my lifesaver, I'd be lost without her!

I brought my son home in July and lost my job in September. So I don't have that guilt - yet. In seven months, I've only worked 4 weeks, 1 of which was part time. So, when I do get a job, I'm sure he'll be a little demon and I'll be guilt-ridden.

However, that 2 1/2 - 3 hours a week is NEEDED. During the holidays, we didn't bowl. I could have killed him. I need that 'child free time'.

Alicia - try to find a little time weekly, I can't believe you aren't insane yet. Maybe just an hour for breakfast on your day off with a friend or something.

That itty bitty little snippet of time when I'm me and not someone's mom, or someone's daughter (another story) is the much needed.

[l-thompson]

My husband and I very rarely went out when our girls were younger. We used to have friends over for "pot luck" dinners with their children and they would reciprocate - that way we didn't need to have the expense of babysitters.

In the blink of an eye....our daughters were teenagers!! We wonder where the time went. We still have the occassional "pot luck" but now our friends are in a similiar position - we have the freedom to go out and leave the children at home.

Its wonderful to have "our" time together again. We go out for dinner at nice restaraunts, take in a movie when we feel like it and just enjoy being in each others company again.
Its like dating all over again

My husband and I don't have any regrets at all - the girls were always our priority when they were younger and thats the way we both wanted it.............now its our time again tho..and its great!!!

[bromanchik]

My husband and I go out alone about 6 times a year. We usually go to dinner, take a nice walk and go home. (We have the kids stay overnight at my mom's) Having the house to ourselves is the best part. It's not all about sex without wondering who might wake up or try and crawl in bed with you. It is the oppotunity to really relax in your own home without having to think of anyone else's needs but your own.

[alicia hunter]

I'm so happy. I am going to a church party on Friday night. TTHis means that two Fridays in a row I am going out without her. It is our Young Adult Valentines party. We are dressing like our favorite seventies tv characters, the only thing is we all have to research it because we weren't born yet in the '70s.lol I'm gonna dress up like a Soul Train dancer. Afro wig and all! I'm getting out more!! Yeaaaa!!!!!

[nancynic]

Having fun is a good thing ... it keeps us going and makes us good role models for our kids! Parenting can be 'serious business' and we take it seeriously so having a little time for fun provides balance and a little break from the usual.

Nancy

[stacyone]

...not born yet in the seventies... I'm ooooooooold!

I went back to college in January. I work full-time for a company that pays for it, which is the only reason I'm able to do it. I feel extraordinarily guilty every Tuesday and Thursday night as I'm in class -- the poor little tyke is in day care 5 days a week and then I bail on her two nights a week. My dh is a GREAT Daddy and more than able to take care of things -- in fact, she tends to prefer her Daddy to everyone else -- but it breaks my heart to be apart from her.

I try to remind myself that I'm doing this for her -- I want to finish my degree and do work I really love, not just push papers for a living. How can I teach her to reach her full potential if I'm not living up to mine?

Last night I went out for dinner and a movie with "the girls" -- that means one extra night gone! I felt awful and almost didn't go, but I forced myself, and I'm glad... I needed a night like that!

[nancynic]

Hi Stacy,

It's important to look at the long term ... your education now will help you work at something you love and you'll be a role model for your child/ren. Also taking care of oneself is important so that we can care for others ... it also shows that we have self-esteem which we want for our children.

Thanks for your post,
NancyNic

[Mom2J]

As the parents of 12, 6, and 2, the family goes out to dinner every Friday night. Now, my husband and I don't get away together often, because we just don't have any family within a 5-hour drive. We have friends that will watch the kids, but honestly, we enjoy the family time. (The military doesn't always afford us this time, so we relish every moment.) When the kids get in bed, it's our time. We do try to go out at least 4-times a year, alone. My favorite is to go out to dinner by ourselves. I enjoy having a hot meal once in a while and not having to cut up someone's food or blowing on it to cool it. LOL

K.

[nancynic]

Hi,

It's so important to have a sense of humour!

It's a luxurious feeling to have a meal prepared and served to us ... and to have an uninterrupted conversation with our partner!

thanks for your perspective and post ~

nancynic

[6kiddos]

My husband and I went out for dinner last night with people that he works with. Grandma and Grandpa watched the 3 younger kids (our 3 teenagers were on their own, much to their delight!). We dropped them off at Grandma's at 6pm and when we picked them up at 8:30pm we were greeted by our 8 yr old son with, "I can't believe you stayed out so late!"