[tarynbrook]

Great subject! I was told by many many well meaning family and friends that we should have our baby sleep in his/her crib in their room to avoid spoiling them and causing a bad habit. Since then I have been reading everything I can about adoption and attachment, and it would be a mistake for my husband and I to not try the family bed idea. Our baby will be 7 months to a little over a year old when we finally get him or her home, and they need to bond to us and know that we will always be there for them. We will be careful to safeguard the bed, keep pillows and blankets away from his/her little face etc. But I want to do everything I can to avoid any attachment disorders ... plus they will come from an orphanage where they share the room if not crib with several other warm little bodies. This is just my 2 cents! Thank you for sharing your stories as well, I wish you all the best
~ Taryn

[qs mom]

Hey Taryn -

My son came from an orphanage as well. He lived there 2 years. I was very concerned about attachment since he was very nearly 3 years old. On my pick up trip, I tried to lay in bed with him and pushed me away, very strongly I might add.

When we got home, it was very important to me that he know HIS room, HIS bed, HIS toys. So, as the books say, I slept on the floor in his room next to his bed. If he woke, I was there to give immediate comfort. After being home about 4 or 5 weeks, he would get up and crawl down to the floor to snuggle with me and sleep the rest of the night on the floor.

He came home in July, and I'm still on that floor. I moved to the living room couch (across from his room) for a couple nights, but he would come in at about 4:30 a.m. and take me by the hand to his room. Then he started getting up a couple times during the night (this never happened before) just to see it I was there.

Truth be told, I missed listening to him breathing. After Christmas, I'm going to be firm about sleeping on the couch. He can do morning snuggles with me there. Then I'll move into my room.

So, I say. We'll see how firm I am about sticking to my guns.

This actually has worked well. He will say its bedtime and climb into his bed, hugs, kisses, lights out and I can leave him to sleep on his own.

NAPTIME - another story altogether!

[nancynic]

Hi,

I'm so happy this topic is being discussed. It's a sensitive one. I support all of you, whichever decision you make, to share your bed or not.

What is so beautiful if so hear parents who want the best for their children and are reading, discussing and trying different things, and being supportive to oneanother.

Imagine if all people were so kind to oneanother ... there would be peace in the world.

Wishing all of you sweet dreams and joyous holidays!

NancyNic

[MomOfFourWantingMore]

My first one slept with me til he was 4, I was 17 and obviously single at the time so it was no problem for either of us. My second child didn't like sleepign with anyone she loved having a whole bed to herself even from birth on lol. My 3rd one I breastfed and on top of that she used the breast as a pacifier so I didn't have much choice there lol..she is 15 and still will get in bed with me to snuggle but quit actually sleeping with me every night by the time she was 3. My youngest he's adopted so at 6 weeks he slept with us because he knew something was dif just wasn't sure what. Then when he was 11 months he almost died so I was afraid to have him out of my site even in sleep. Well now he's 5 years old as of oct 23rd and still sleeps with us. I love it but at the same time we are ready to have our bed back. So sometimes I pull out a foam mattress and sleep on the floor by the bed. I've tried getting him to but he wants no part of it. He wants to sleep with me or my husband or my oldest daughter. We have tried dif things to encourage him to sleep in his own bed. We've even tried dif beds..toddler..twin ..dif blankets..same blankets..music, nightlights u name it. He's gotten bigger and I just don't sleep well anymore. Iget up in the mornings feeling like i was used as a ball in a baseball game my back hurts so bad. My husband and I haven't been able to snuggle in bed for the last 5 years and I miss that.Cause he has to sleep between us. Any suggestions? I am really thankful for this thread because i've been searching all over the net to find out answers to this question.