[shirleyville]

Hello, All! :-)
Since you have all been with me, along this amazing journey toward finding my "roots", I wanted to share with you all my latest news!
Just to refresh your memories -- I used a CI to locate my birthmother, who subsequntly denied contact with me, once my CI was able to reach her. She had other children, who didn't know of my existance, and she just wasn't in a "place", emotionally, where she could accept any sort of contact....and I respect and honor that. My mother's sister (my Aunt) acted as a liason of sorts to facilitate paperwork, etc., and I was able to write a short letter of thanks to her -- non-identifying, of course. In return, I received a short letter from my Aunt, explaining that her sister had a tough life, but she knew her sister thought of me everyday....and that it was a comfort to her (my Aunt) to know that I was happy and healthy. At the time of contact, my Aunt wanted to have a relationship with me, but my mother wouldn't allow it, and signed the papers to close my files.
Since I knew my birthmother's maiden name (Reno), I have been scouring every genealogical website known to man, and doing everything in my power to see what I could find out about my heritage. I knew my grandfather's dates of birth and death from the non-id info, so my focus was mainly on him.
Two nights ago, I was surfing thru the Reno family message board at Genealogy.com, and I saw a post from a woman who was seeking information on a Reno who had passed away in New Castle, Indiana, which is near where I live, and also near where I was born. I thought it was worth a shot, so I e-mailed her.....unfortunately, the e-mail address was old, and it came back to me, undeliverable. I went back to the mesage board, and saw the address of a woman who had replied to the posting, and I sent the e-mail I had originally written, to her, instead.
Unbeliveably, within 15 minutes, I had a reply back!!!!! :-) At first, the woman (who is older) said she would try to help me by looking thru her genealogy research, etc.......but after a few minutes of mailing back and forth, she admitted that she is my cousin. I can't tell you how that felt.......I nearly fainted dead away!!! Here I was, "talking" to someone who I am related to ---- for the VERY FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!! :-)
Jean is the sweetest woman you could ever hope to meet, too!!! She feels an incredible allegiance to my birthfamily, as my stepgrandma was a nurse, and took care of her son when he was in a tragic accident....so she wanted to be "protective" of them, but also said she wanted me to be "whole", and she would help. WIthout divulging names, she sent me on an obituary search at a local library....I already knew when my grandfather died, but I didn't know his name, or even where, in the country to look. It was no time at all before I was sitting in front of my computer, holding an obituary for my grandfather -- Ray Reno. Ladies and Gentleman, my grandfather is buried virtually in my back yard!!!!! There is a cemetary at the end of my road, and I can WALK to where he is buried!! He has been in my "backyard" all along!!! AMAZING!!!
But that is just the FIRST of many amazing things I have found out in the last 24 hours!! The next most amazing thing is that my Aunt (the one who was so kind to write to me) lives about five minutes from my house, and she is a woman I have known forever. Her daughter was a year behind me in school, and played on the volleyball team with me!!! I am literally FLOORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, keep in mind this was over 20 years ago, and I haven't seen her since I graduated from school, but I spent TIME with this woman!! I've ridden in cars to games with her.....I know precisely where she lives. I could walk up to the door right now if I wanted to!!
Never in all my WILDEST imaginings would I EVER have considered that my grandfather was buried around the corner from me, and that I had spent years sharing rides with my Aunt and playing sports with her daughter!!! NEVER!!!
Another amazing thing is that from the obituary, I found my birthmother's married name and also the married name of her older sister -- my Aunt Loretta. My birthmother had the same married last name as my Aunt Judy's back in 1968, so we are surmising that she may have been married to Aunt Judy's brother....but need to look a little further to figure that all out!
I am busy learning all I can from my cousin, Jean. She is helping me to formulate a picture of our family and where we all came from!! It is AMAZING!!! I am having the most wonderful time with it all, although at times it is so overwhelming, I can't stand it! The thought that I grew up with my birthfamily all around me, and I was never told, really rocks my socks! I have no idea if my parents know....or if my birthfamily knows who I am.....I can't imagine that they don't........
More as the story progresses!!!
Hugs,
Sally

[shirleyville]

Moira!!! That is FABULOUS!!!! I am SO exited for you!!!
I will be careful with the information that I have....I won't be making any kind of contact with them -- at least not that I can imagine in the near future, anyway. I want to let it all sink in...right now, I am having a hard enough time wrapping my brain around it all as it is --- I couldn't imagine trying to complicate it all with anything else!!
My new found cousin, Jean, who I would imagine is about 70, is on her way to the local library to get some pictures and things for me....she is so wonderful!!! It was just as cute as it could be -- the morning after I "found" her, it was snowing, and she e-mailed me to tell me to be careful on the slick roads!! I thought it was the sweetest thing ever!!!
I'm planning a trip to the cemetary in the morning to see my grandfather's grave. Apparently, his brothers and sisters are there, also.....so it will be something to see, I am sure!
Congratulations, again, Moira --- you are in my thoughts, for sure!
Hugs,
Sally

[Laura Palmer]

So happy to finally hear some good news!!!! I'm so happy for you. Your story was very interesting. I like you (rejected) am trying to find some birth cousins, etc. I have some one in England on the case right now. Please keep us all posted!!!! It is very encouraging to hear!!!!!!!!!!Good luck & god bless! Sue

[Shelba]

Sally,

Congratulations! I am beyond thrilled for you that you FINALLY have this info. Have not had time to get on here lately, but every night when I check my email, I check to see how you are doing. YYYYYYAAAAAYYYY! How crazy is it that you have grown up around your bfamily? CRAZY! You think they know who you are?
I can't imagine being your CI and knowing that you and your aunt are so close, but not being able to share that info with you.

This is an incredible discovery, I'm going to do a special dance for you as soon as I get up from the computer!

Yay!!!!


Michele

[CherryV]

Wow!!! What a story!! I'm so glad for you. I've been watching your story with great interest and happy to see your good news

My story is so boring!! lol

[Lynn]

Hi Sally,
I have been following this forum for some time now. Your story caught my eye. I am a birthmom in reunion with my son after 35 years. It is going slow, but I am thankful just knowing he is fine and grew up happy and healthy. I wanted to tell you how much I admire you. You have to be one of the strongest women I know ( I feel like I know you from your postings). You have such an understanding about how your birthmom is feeling. I hope someday she knows what a wonderful daughter and person you have grow up to be.
I am so happy for you finally finding your roots. Enjoy every minute. Your birthfamily will be lucky and pround to have you back in their lives.
Hugs,
Lynn

[raybuffer]

Sally,

I am very happy for you. It is great that you were able to make contact with your cousin and that you are finding out information about your family and their surprising proximity. It sounds like you are taking things at a good pace, and your intentions of letting the info come to you now and allowing it to soak in slowly is a good one. You must be tingling with excitement. How has your husband and adoptive parents reacted to the discoveries? I'm sure the display of feelings are mixed, but deep down they are happy that you are finding your truth.

My Best Regards,

Ray Buffer



http://www.raybuffer.com

Visit http://adopteerights.cjb.net
and tour all of Ray's Adoptee Activism Sites.

Ray was born 09/02/1969 in West Palm Beach, FL, http://adoptee.cjb.net and is the Moderator of Adoptee Activists on Yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/adopteeactivists

[shirleyville]

WOW! All I can say is WOW! My cousin (who is 70) and I were up until about 3:00 AM e-mailing back and forth.....she sent me my entire family tree starting with my great great grandfather and his wife......their children, their children's children and ultimately my mother's children.
I have three siblings....a sister born in 1967, a brother born in 1970 and another brother, born in 1972.
I have my mother's new name, address and phone number.....my Aunt's address and phone number, and a cemetary right down the street with 20 relatives in a beautifully laid out family plot. Some of them are decorated war veterans....and they have the COOLEST names!! My grandfather had eight brothers and sisters, so there were a lot of really cool "old" names like Haskell and Oakley and Zora!! It was just amazing to me to stand there and think "these are MY relatives" and they have been here all along!! They are actually only three "rows" away form where my a-grandparents are and TWO rows away from where my a-parent's bought their plots!! It will make it easy for me in years to come....but I may go broke on Memorial Day!! ***tee-hee***
Ray, to answer your question, my husband is just as amazed as I am...my adoptive parents have no idea that I even had an intermediary on retainer, and they don't know anything about this, either. I have been wrestling with it -- today, especially. It's very hard to not share this with my family....I want to! It's so exciting!! BUT, I also know my parents, and I know that they virtually CHOKE on the WORD "adoption" and searching was always something they adamently opposed. Neither of them is in good health...and I question the good it would do them in opposition to the bad.
I have no idea at present what I will do with ANY of this information. I think I would just like to HAVE it and HOLD ON to it for awhile. That is enough for me -- today anyway. For awhile to come, I would imagine. I never ina ll my life thought I would have this......I need time to simply HAVE it.
I will keep you all posted. My cousin and I are going to meet for coffee next week and then go over to the library to look at my mother's high school year books....it should be great fun! I am very excited to meet Jean...she has been an angel sent to me to give me everything I could ever have wished for where this is concerned....and also to be warm and loving and caring to me -- she has given me the "open arms" that I didn't get from my mother. I am so thankful for her!!
Hugs,
Sally

[bajohnson]

Sally,
I'm so tickled for you. And in your own backyard. I'm so excited for you and your reunion with your Aunt. Has the family in it's entirety been told of you and your whereabouts yet? Maybe that's what I need to do to find mine. Buy a house in Indiana by a cemetery? Just kidding. I know it was a lot of hard work and years waiting. Congrats and enjoy.
A fellow Indiana adoptee,
Beth

[yeidikey333]

Im very happy for you, and I wish you luck from now on!

[vicrose]

Sally, I am soooo happy that you got some good news!! I have been following your story all along, and all I can say is "God is Good!!". Good things happen to good people!! Your story is truly amazing!! God Bless You!! Sincerely, Brenda

[shirleyville]

I truly am in awe of the Wisdom God has in all things....this, especially. I can't even fathom how it was that I just "happened" to be at Genealogy.com and just HAPPENED to see that post. There were almost 700 posts to the Reno family message bard, and there it was....some girl looking for a Reno that died in New Castle, Indiana. I even tried to e-mail this girl, but HER address was old, and it came back undeliverable....I sent the same e-mail, just as a LONG shot, to a lady that had replied to her post, thinking she MIGHT know something....and BOOM! It was my cousin!!! I have never been so shocked in all my life!!
The coolest thing is how the this lady is SO MUCH like me....she's 70 years old, but she and I have so much in common! I can't wait to meet her!! I never thought I would find a 70 year old woman who loved to chat on the computer with such proficiency!! Her phrases and her wording is identical to mine......it is just amazing to me!
Thank you all for your well wishes! I will keep you posted!
Hugs,
Sally

[crayons]

This is wounderful, I'm so glad this has happened for you and couldn't have happend to a nicer person. I loved reading your story and it makes me think my daughter could be somewhere near me. ENJOY YOUR NEW LIFE!

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Sally,
Ive been following this for a long time and am so happy that you finally have your "roots." Perhaps your birthfamily will think differently once they know that they have associated with you all their life....and you are not REALY a stranger... I think knowing that she has carpooled and that you were friends with her daughter and that you are right down the block the whole time would make it very difficult to turn you away...you are already a familiar face... I wish you all the luck in the world with whatever decision you make!
Christine