[strosnstars]

Ok, heres the deal. I have happily been reunited with my 23 year old son for about 9 months. In that time he has gotten engaged to a wonderful girl. The wedding is in November. I really have not had ANY contact with his adoptive parents. He no longer lives at home. When we were first reunited I sent them a letter offering to open up the lines of communication. No response. I sent them a Christmas card. Again...No response. My son and I have gotten very close, and our reunion has been story book perfect. Especially in the beginning, I was EXTREMELY mindful of their feelings in all this, but after being ignored, I basically have given up trying to read minds and am just taking my lead from my son who just cant seem to get enough of his newly discovered family.

So when all the wedding planning started it became quickly apparent that the kids and my future daughter in laws family needed some financial help with the wedding. Having the means, I have gladly offered them some help. This help has been greatly appreciated by my son and his fiance and her family (who have greeted me into their home with open arms). But I am hearing through the grapevine, that my mere PRESENCE at the wedding is highly resented by his parents, especially the father. And my 2 children (his 1/2 brother and sister) are IN the wedding. Im not sure how to smooth things over. I deeply respect his parents, but my loyalty and commitment lies with my son. He says he wont have the wedding without us. I guess I should just leave it to him to deal with his parents, but I dont want there to be any tension at the biggest day of their lives. Any ideas on what I can do to make peace with them? But dropping out of his life again is NOT an option.

Thanks all, Laura

[debsdone]

Hi Laura! I would say you have done all that you can to make this situation as smooth and non-threatening as you can. It must feel awful to know the a-parents feel the way they do, I am sorry. I think your son has to deal with this on his own. If you continue to be as generous and as gracious as you seem to have been, nobody could ask for more! Love, Debi

[KilleDowns]

My advice is not to worry too much. I'm sure his adoptive parents love him very much and just want to see him happy no matter what. I have recently found both of my biological parents and although I am not getting married nearly that soon, I could not imagine my wedding without ALL of my parents there (adoptive and biological). I'm sure everything will work out for you and your son. Enjoy the wedding!