[Archive]

Originally Posted By Melodie

I am searching for my birthmother and am realy nervous that I may be a DISSAPONTMENT. I have made some bad choices in my life and am not where I should be. I getting back on track now, but am still scared.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Julie

Have faith. I found my son in a horrible situation but do you know what I told him when we finally met? I told him "I love you. I have missed you all of your life. I am proud of you." I meant it then and two years later I am still telling him the same thing. He has been through hell through his own actions. He still makes mistakes but is also getting back on track now-two steps forward, one step back. We all make mistakes. my mistakes were huge-I gave up my son. I am not the fantasy Birthmom maybe he hoped for- I think he wanted me to be a 'hot rapper with a fancy car and lots of dough'. I am not but what he did get is a birthmom with unconditional love. Please try to stay on track-for yourself first-then for the people who love you.

[CherylAnn'56]

Melodie,

If your bmom thinks you're a dissapointment then that's her problem -- remember she made choices in her life that resulted in her giving you up for adoption.

Life is a hard, hard thing. Everyone makes mistakes -- lots of them. The most important thing is how we deal with our mistakes -- what we learn and how we manage to reshape our lives. People that can't see that are too shallow or in too much denial about their own lives to have a realistic understanding of themselves or others. Struggle makes us more beautiful, more wise and more empathetic if we embrace it and allow it to be our mentor.

I hope your search goes as you want. I'm searching too.

Dorothy (Cheryl Ann is my b-name)

[schatz]

Please don't worry about being a disappointment. I think she will just be glad to see you.
a birthmother

[Sarah Randolph]

As A birth mom I can tell you that the love I have for my daughter, adopted in 1972 whom I am still searching for, is unconditional and I would give anything to hear from her and will handle any and all the burdens or problems that may come with it. Nobody is perfect and can not expect anyone else to be.

[Stacy]

Just remember that everyone makes mistakes in their lives no one is perfect. I'm sure that she would understand. Just remeber that God loves you and forgives, all you have to do ask.

[A_mothers_love]

I lost my son to adoption in 1988, Recently I found him yet due to his adopters I cannot make contact, Melodie I would like you to know that your real parents love you no matter what, adopters say they have unconditional love, yet how can they when the truly cannot bond, the bonding that does happen between an adoptee and adopter is called attachment, a bond cannot happen unless you are biologically connected to that person. I know that your birth family is dying to have you in their arms, no matter what went on in your life, please do not worry that you would disappoint never never that
Hugs
Melissa

[StephC]

Melodie - I felt the same way when I was getting ready to meet my bmom for the first time. I think anyone in your shoes would feel unsure of themselves, regardless of previous trials and tribulations. But I really do think the mother's love sees through the exterior and sees the good on the inside. It turned out that my birthmother was terrified that I would be disappinted in HER!! She has lived in fear of my hating her for giving me up for adoption for the last 27 years - the last thing she was going to do was judge ME!! So hold your head up high, be proud that you are working through whatever past mistakes you have made, and look to the future with hope and pride.

[Stormy]

Don't doubt the power of a mothers love. Mothers are some of the only people in the world who only see their childs strengths and look past everything else. I am a mom (to two children, one bio one adopted). I know that every parent truly believes that their child is the single most wonderful person on the face of the earth. No matter what! I think your birthmother would be proud of you for being so strong to see that you strayed from the road and are working hard to get back. Finding your birthmother may mean that you would have one more cheerleader in your corner. Who doesn't need just one more cheerleader?

[shanda67]

I am looking for a Cheryl ann that was born in Wisconsin .... Might that be you?

[sborgstrom]

I can assure you that we all make mistakes in our lives...I am 45 yrs old and have made plenty..Don't be so hard on yourself...You learn by your mistakes and you pick yourself up and you go on...Don't look back and think you are a disappointment...You are no different than anyone else here on this earth when it comes to making mistakes...Instead of looking back at the negative, why not look forward to the positive....

[Monster]

Melodie,

Hey we are all her from some sort of desicion on someones part, I will say this cause i am a bmother and as that no matter what or who my child became i would embrace the fact that they were alive and that i love them nothing can really stop a mother from loveing there child IMHO no matter there liveing with or with out that person, Melodie dont be so hard on yourself your a good girl who deserves to find her mother if she wants Good luck.

[firstmom47]

First, she's likely to understand, having been in a "mistake" situation herself once. I had to hear some scary things about my birthson, nothing too bad, but had that first "stab" as in "what have I done?!"
But the truth is always best, once known, carefully put. Believe me, she will have imagined both much better and much worse, in thinking about you over the years. Finding out for sure is a huge relief, no matter what.