[sum1son]

Hi, I'm new here, and found myself glued to the monitor for hours reading from so many adoptees. Sure glad this forum exists.

I'm an adult adoptee. Recently received a surprising message online from my potential sis (with the same mom). Too many coincidences - right down to my original first and middle name - led to the sister and mom paying for a dna test. I think we're all as excited as the other.

Also nervous, scared. Finding it difficult to do or think about anything else except for the darn DNA maternity test result which we're expecting very soon now.

I guess I share this in common with many adoptees here! That "wait" for the "test result". Am I or am I not? Are they? Aren't they? What if...?

I find myself daydreaming about how a first-meeting would go... even watching tv, I find myself staring, but having no clue what I'm watching. UGH :-/

[Withay]

Welcome sum - I'm glad you found the forums. There are a lot of terrific people on here.

[gigglessa]

yikes. I hope everthing turns out for the best. What do you think? Are they? How exciting and nerve wrecking for sure. Good Luck

[sum1son]

Thanks Withay and giggles!

gigglessa: "what do you think" - I dunno. I'm told I'm in denial of this all after people see photos we've exchanged. My a-mom had a little cry when she saw the photos of my little (maybe) biobro, because his photos remind her so much of me. She's convinced, my asis is convinced, my s/o is convinced... I'm worried to be convinced until I see the DNA maternity-test result - expected this week None of the three of us wanted to wait for however long the provincial government would take to send us our documents.

The sister seems very excited and supportive of "however" I want to proceed. She assures me the mother feels the same way.

I hope it's them. I've not actively searched in about 7+ years (suffered from that "give up looking" syndrome) but after the surprise msg, it re-sparked some kind of 'urgency' in my need to know.

If this all works out, I appear to have this website to thank.

I'd love to hear more about your reunion, gigglessa! I see on your profile you are reunited, so I'm very curious.

Thanks again!

[Dickons]

Congrats on the reunion, waiting is terrible but doing the test means there is absolutely no doubt...

Reunions are the most confusing of all times...very glad you have your mum being part of or knowing about the reunion, it will help with any worries on how this fits with your current life. Just make sure she knows you aren't going anywhere and from what I have read that can be a big insecurity issue.

So, did you post your search on the registry or the forum? How did they find you...

Kind regards,
Dickons

[sum1son]

Hi Dickons! Thanks! Of course I'm preparing myself in case it's a negative(exclusion) result on the DNA test, but really hard to trick yourself into thinking that you don't think about something

You asked how this lady found me - from a verrrry old post in the registry here...my email had changed millions of times since then, but she persevered and found me on facebook One of those "I'm sorry if it's not you, but I'm looking for my birth...." messages

I hope, if she recognizes me here, that she doesn't mind my sharing this stuff anonymously like this! Such a great outlet to share such a difficult subject.

[Dickons]

Great story about not giving up...

If she recognises you here she will be very pleased to know that you are here as the posters are a great form of support...

Kind regards,
Dickons

[gigglessa]

Not sure if my reunion is a success or not yet. Actually, I always thought I had everything under control when it came to my adoption issues, in other words, I didn't think I had any.
After I found my family, I went into a downward spiral. I am feeling lots better now, after almost 2 years.
I don't have a very good relationship with my half siblings on my mothers side. We might send each other messages on myspace every few months. One sister actually comes to town and never visits, but that has more to do with a huge drama incident with her aunt and me. So, she would rather visit her and well, she doesn't bother to call or come by my house.
As for my bmom, well, we talk about every 3-4 weeks on the phone..she too has been in town and not stopped or called or anything..its hurtful, but now I am used to it.
I have not met my dad yet but we talk on the phone every few weeks. He has 3 kids and the youngest has the exact same name as me..except for the last name. She was not thrilled about me or our name. LOL..
As for the other two, they were very happy to know they had a sister even if I was born after the oldest, if you catch my drift..dad was married when I was concieved.
My amom died when I was 5 so maybe I was excepting instant mom and family...also I wrote some blogs that were full of my hurt and my sister showed them to my bmom..that kinda sent the reunion down the wrong road. So, I have some share of the blame for the reunion going the way its going. At one point I just gave up trying to make it work. There are still times that I wish my bmom and I could grow closer, but I think its not going to happen.
There is to much drama in that family, jealousy and I dont like to be in the middle of it.
I am hoping things will go different with my bdad, who I am supposed to meet this month.
Regardless, I am glad to have met my mom, I know that I love her and that I would have been empty inside without meeting her..so I don't regret looking and finding her.

[sum1son]

Because the forums will be down this morning for that scheduled maintenance, I think the next time I get here I'm going to have the DNA results in my hands, and I can't believe how scared I am to see them. If it wasn't for some kind of inexplicable "need to know", this level of fear would normally have me running for the hills.

"Normally"? Hmm that word used to mean something a few weeks ago

[sum1son]

OMG - got the results over the phone - it IS my bmom, bsis, and lil bbro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bakerjw]

Congrats! Let the reunion commence!

[Dickons]

Simply wonderful...

Kind regards,
Dickons

[St3v3n]

That's great to hear! Congratulations!

[sum1son]

Thanks all! My bsis and I are both in equal disbelief, I'm in shock. We've continued chatting online, altho she gave me her number, and my bmom's number, I warned her it might be a little while before I'm comfortable calling.

In the meantime, we're learning a lot about one another and the families. Including pouring over facebook photos

[sum1son]

A short update - I met my sister over the weekend. She is incredible. We met for a 3-hour coffee (I was worried I wouldn't know what to say to even keep things going for 15 minutes hehe)

We're only a few years apart in age, and find we've been only feet apart many times in the past without ever knowing it

Today, I'm meeting her/our mother. I talked with her on the phone for the first time yesterday, although we've exchanged messages and letters via my sister. She seems so happy and very personable. She told me she often thought about this (reunion) and she never thought it would be a bad experience, she always felt things would go well for us.

I've been no secret to her family, so I'm thankful I don't have to worry about her family resenting me for appearing, after being found.

So nervous