[eswcomo]

Just here to ask your opinions.
I have located a myspace and facebook page for my daughter who is now 23.
I have not had any contact with her or the adoptive father since she was 7.
I know of no other way to contact them other than by the above mentioned websites.
Do you think it would be out of place to send a brief message to her through these sites with my contact information and wait for her to contact me from there?
I have been pondering this for months, my husband says to just do it but I am not sure.
Thanks

[zxczxcasdasd]

At 23, there is certainly nothing wrong with it, but do be prepared that once you hit send- all sorts of stuff might go off inside you, so please make sure you are prepared and have a good support system and are prepared for whatever might happen, or not happen.

I'd advise you to keep it friendly, short, and sweet. Just let her know you are open to hearing from her whenever she's ready, and give her whatever contact info you want her to have.

Then get ready to ride the rollercoaster of emotion, and check back in here frequently to maintain sanity. Best wishes.

[bakerjw]

Just curious as to what happened to the adoptive mother?

Before you hit send ask yourself the hardest questions that you can think of to answer. The kinds of questions that she may ask if she responds back. It might not be right away but eventually they will be asked. I believe in being prepared for what could happen.

If she remembers you from when she was 7 then things may go smoothly. The pressing question for me would be "Why did you stop coming around?" I'd suggest being prepared for that one.

Go ahead and send your contact information and tell her who you are and see what happens. I only mention this because many of us have seen it before but don't get overly dramatic and if you don't get a response then give it time. I'd recommend adding a line similar to "If you're not interested in any contact please let me that you at least got this message."

This is one reason that I don't like dealing with e-mail or the internet for first contacts. Not certified mail or delivery receipts. With regular mail I always recommend a post card.

Hope it goes well. But remember it is always a shock to adoptees. In my late 30's it floored me. So it may take time.
Best wishes.

[KittyMay]

I was contacted through Facebook, and it was fine (for me anyway). It was fine, it gave me time to take it all in in private and in my own time. That was 2 months ago and now I have a great relationship with my birthmom. It was her sister in law that made contact with me, but actually I was closing in on my search at that time. I had actually had her address and phone number for 2 days before being contacted. I wish you the best of luck!! Please keep us posted.

[eswcomo]

I sent her a message today!
Now all I can do is wait.
Thank you for the replies
I'll post updates
Thanks again
Donna

[eswcomo]

I received an e-mail from her a few days ago..
So far so good
I gave her all my contact information, so now I will just wait to hear from her again.
I must admit it was pretty exciting opening the e-mail.

[txrnr]

That's great! I'm glad you were able to make contact.

[Xdad]

Yay Donna!
Hang in there, hope your ride is smooth.