[Kalena888]

I'm am extremely fortunate. Through my birthfather's search - I found him. My birthmother currently wants no contact. I'd love to meet her just once, but when I saw the picture of her when she was 17 and that we look just like each other - for me that was all I needed.

I never expected to find my birth father. Had no need; no desire. We are scheduled to meet. I am looking forward to it -- but he is being pushy. I have some huge problems in my life that need my attention.

I sort of feel like I want my life back. Is this a normal reaction?

Thanks.

[iffylynn89]

I dont know if its normal but i know exaclty how that feels.
except its my bio-dads parents. theyre not bad people i just feel kinda suffocated sometimes. like let me decide what im gonna do and stop bugging me..

[JustPeachy]

I think it is natural to retreat if someone is being too pushy and you feel your boundaries are being invaded. In what way is your bdad being too pushy? Can you explain to him that he's coming on too strongly and express to him how you would prefer he handle contact?

I think at first, ironing out these boundary issues is very hard in reunion. It is important to be clear, though, with what your needs and expectations are and for your bdad to also be clear with his. If your needs and expectations are not meshing, then some sort of give and take will be necessary to put things in balance.

[Kalena888]

I figured out most of my problem. I was never looking for my birth father. I was hoping it was my mother. My adoptive father IS my father. There is no other. B father is taking the roll of a father figure and it's really, really uncomfortable. Plus, just his personality, he says and does some really odd things. So I just need time to figure out what boundries I want and then how to tell him.