[kcrisg]

So I've been writing letters to both my birth parents since mid summer and am ready to make a phone call. They gave me their number ages ago but I haven't been ready to call until now. I want to call very badly but I don't know what to say. I've never been much of a phone person, and have a tendency to be rather quiet. I have no idea what to talk about with them when I call. I'm scared out of my mind and need to be as prepared as possible to do this and have nooooooooo ideas on how to do that. Any and all help is deeply appreciated. Please please please help!

[JustPeachy]

I would just take the plunge and call and say "Hello!" Believe me, as a birthmom, I would love if my son called, and I wouldn't care if he didn't know what to say. You can let them take the lead in the conversation and if you are at a loss for words, you can just explain that you are not much of a phone person and are a bit nervous. Don't be afraid of awkward silences, though. You may decide email communication is better for you, but I can assure you, your birthparents will be thrilled to hear your voice!

[teacher22]

kcrisg-I asked the exact opposite of you! I am a birthmom and I am trying to figure out what to say in emails to make it more casual so I can get to the point of feeling ready for a phone call.

My BS has my phone number as well but I don't have his which is fine. If he called me though besides being in complete shock at first I would just want to hear about his day, week, what he's been doing lately. I think if you make it casual it wouldn't seem so weird.

Any ideas or suggestions as to how you made your emails somewhat casual so it made you feel ready to call your birthparents?

Thanks a bunch and go ahead, call. They will be so happy!

[kcrisg]

I don't really know how it got to the point that I feel ready to call. Our first few letters were more formal and you can see the definate change in them over time. Letters stopped being a lot of questions and more updates on our lives. What I did for the holidays, how college is, the latest trouble her children have gotten themselves into. Lots of pictures. I really just wrote about everything I would write to a friend. I wish I could be more specific, i thinks its just something that kind of happens. I don't know how long you've been in touch with your son but it's been since august for me and i'm just getting there...just be patient, i promise it will get there.

[SuddenlySusan]

I found my son's profile on this website in Jan 2007, and we began emailing right away. It wasn't until after our first f2f in August 2007 that we spoke on the phone. In fact, we've only spoken on the phone a couple times in two years...but, my husband and I have traveled twice to the east coast, and my son has traveled out to the west coast once, with another trip planned for this year. We both blog, and read each other's blogs.

But, the most communication we have on a phone is using the text message option. Neither of us are a "phone person"... often, the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree.

It was actually pretty cool not having heard his voice before we were together in person...what a moment that was...

Best wishes,
Susan

[kcrisg]

I actually spoke with both my birthmother and birthfather for the first time just yesterday and today. It was overwelming to say the least. I'd called and left a message (horribly awkard!) and then missed her call back and heard her voice for the first time via voicemail. I had to play it a few times because i was so suprised, taken aback, and i must admit more than a little panicked. I called her back and we talked for 40 minutes, the conversation which entirely light in tone did not come easy, there were some uncomfortable and awkward silences, but i suspect and hope that those will deminish in time. Both of us are admitedly not phone people either so that didn't help either. I called my birthfather the next day and he was elated and conversation seem to flow easily. My nerves were nowhere near as bad as they were when i made my first call to bmom. Conversation was a lot easier simply because he was just so excited. It was a difficult, but for me a very necessary, step and i'm very glad i did it!

[lookin4u18]

Congratulations on being able to talk to them both. I just hope that some day I will be able to do that. I'm still trying to figure out how to write the letters to them. Hope everything keeps going well!!!!!

[teacher22]

kcrisg-

Congratulations on going through with it. I think either you like to talk on the phone or you don't. Like you said, you wanted to do it, you needed to do it, and you did it! I hope you call either of them another time it goes just as smoothly.

=)

[SuddenlySusan]

Congratulations on calling... it does take a lot of courage to make those calls!

Best wishes in your reunion!

Peace,
Susan