[mam13]

My parents have recently been reunited with their granddaughter (my niece) who was given up for adoption 26 years ago at the age of 3. They were actually contacted a couple of months ago by her adoptive father out of the blue. The adoption was very painful for my parents (and myself) who were very close to her for the first 3 years her life. Anyway, they are taking things slow with the reunion, and I'm happy to report so far so good. Now for my dilemma. My parents say that my niece remembers a young woman spending time with her and taking her places. The woman she remembers is me. Problem is she is not interested in meeting any other members of her bfamily, including her bmother. She's just not ready yet (she did not search for us - her afather found us). Her 29th birthday is a coming up and I wanted to send her a card and a short letter introducing myself. I don't want to intrude on her life I just want her to know I love her and never forgot about her. She holds a special place in my heart. Is sending a birthday card a good idea or not? Should I back off or make contact? Any advice? I don't know what to do. Sorry so long. Thanks for reading...

[Dickons]

Sending a birthday card would be the perfect ice breaker in my opinion as an adoptee. Tell her when she is ready you are there and in the mean time will continue wishing her a happy birthday each year.

Kind regards,
Dickons

[snuffie]

I agree. She may not be ready for a relationship or even to meet for a while - but a card would show her that you are there waiting and hoping.

[mam13]

Dickons & Snuffie,
Thanks so much for the advice. I mailed a birthday card to her today! I don't know what will come of this, but at least she will know that I care and I'm thinking about her!