[lucid]

My adoption was quite open. My b-parents and parents were in regular contact through letters, phone calls, visits, etc for the first 10 years of my life. I have never met anyone from my birth family, but I've had pictures of them and known lots of information about them from a very early age.

I was on the news a few months ago and my birth grandmother saw me. She was very excited and called my dad while I was at work and gave him my b-mom's new name and her PO box. She lives less than 50 miles away from me. Unbelievably, she also revealed that my b-mom has been working as a nurse. I'm currently studying nursing and working as a medical assistant. (Crazy huh?)

So I finally got around to writing that first letter. It's brief. I just offered her my contact information and an invitation to meet. I also explained how much I love and respect her for her selfless, difficult decision; and that I have never resented her. I wrote that I completely understand if she is not ready to meet me, and included a picture of myself. Is this appropriate?

My adoptive parents are extremely supportive of my efforts to reunite (my mother gave up a child herself when she was younger and would die to have the chance to meet her son).

I'm just worried that I won't get a response to my letter. I've looked around online pretty thoroughly and that PO box is the only contact information I can find.

Also - what are some good places to have a reunion? Who should come? What should I plan for? I'm so nervous and excited! Thank you in advance for any advice.

[kakuehl]

I hope you get a letter soon from your birth mom. Does you dad have your birth grandmother's information, since she called him? It sounds like she thinks your bmom is open to contact. (Or she is!) I must tell you that the town I live in doesn't have postal delivery to individual houses so all I have is a post office box. I do have a 911 address but it doesn't show up on mapquest. This could be why your bmom only has a PO box.

As far as places to meet... my bson D and his wife came to my home for a meal and met me and my husband and our 2 children. Some people like to meet in a restaurant or a park or zoo, or other "neutral" site.

I hope you hear soon.

[cetalley]

I think what you have done is very commendible. I am a firstmom, and am sure she will be delighted with your picture and letter, just give her some time, she is after all a nurse and has other obligations too. If I were your firstmom, I would be incredibly proud of how mature you have become and so very happy of how you turned out. It is amazing you are both into the nursing field. Hang in ther sweetheart, you will hear from her soon... And yes the picture was a gret idea....

[kune]

As a reunited birthmom I think any venue that suits you - where you would feel comfortable - would be appropriate. A restaurant if you are looking at a neutral meeting-place. With food to be eaten, you will both have a distraction so conversation pauses are necessary inbetween mouthfulls. ;-)

I found being alone was important to me. I didn't want to share the moment with anyone else. Others have said they needed to have support.

Make up a wish list - how do you imagine this taking place? If the image fits, go with your "gut" feeling. It's seldom wrong.

Fingers crossed for you and wishing you many more memorable moments in the coming years.

Ann

[JustPeachy]

So I finally got around to writing that first letter. It's brief. I just offered her my contact information and an invitation to meet. I also explained how much I love and respect her for her selfless, difficult decision; and that I have never resented her. I wrote that I completely understand if she is not ready to meet me, and included a picture of myself. Is this appropriate?

Very appropriate, for sure! I know how hard it is to write such a letter, and I commend you for doing so. I think keeping it brief was good and expressing what you did very touching. As a birthmom, I would love to have such a letter!

I know it's very difficult to wait for a response, and I hope you hear from your birthmom very soon. As far as meeting, only you can decide what the best place would be. I'd want somewhere neutral for the initial meeting, and a place that was quiet and not too distracting. I'd want it to be one-on-one initially, but that's just me. And keep in mind, with reunion, it's best to take things slow and allow yourself to process any emotions that come up (and they will!).

Good luck!