[barbstr]

I have done the research on reunions and recently found my birthmom. For first contact of my birthmom I have both written a letter and a script for the telephone. This way I am ready to proceed with either option. Now that I am prepared to make contact, it coincides with my birthday. It is September 18th.
This is where I need a birth mom's advice. Would you want to be contacted by the daughter you relinquished on the day it happened 41 years ago? Or would you rather it be a different day? Or does the day not really matter?
I won't call today because I know that her mother passed away 2 years ago on the 17th. I want to be respectful for my birthmom and was hoping there were other birth moms out there that could tell me what they think.

[sstuart]

I would not care what day it was!! I would just be grateful for the contact!!

[lglysson]

anytime!! Others might feel differently, but I would want the call on anyday. It will be overwhelming for her. Although she has probably thought of you and thought of the possiblity of seeing you again, you are more prepared than her because you have been activly seeking her and preparing yourself. She will be unprepared. Take it slow, once you make contact. I wish my birthdaughter were calling me .

[cls2445]

She has been waiting 41 years to hear from you. Contact her, it won't matter what day it is. (I waited 45 and thought that day would never happen) You will turn her world upside down, just go slow.

[jympmw1]

I would call. She knows it's your birthday and maybe a gift for her as well as you. be honest ,take it slow.keep us posted. best wishes

[Lynn]

Hi Barbstr...........I am a 60 year old birthmom. My son is 41. We found each other 8 years ago. We have a slow on going reunion. I also have a raised son and daughter. I would send the letter and give her your contact information. It gives her sometime to get adjusted, and she will need that time. It will be a shock, and hopefully for both of you a wonderful shock. Let us know how it all goes. I finally met my son face to face on his 35th birthday. Anytime is a good time.
Hugs,
Lynn

[longingtomeetyou]

ANYTIME!!!! day or nite!!!!! just that fact that she called would be enough !!!
ive been longing for that day that we talk

[kathy79]

Another bmom here. For me that would be the greatest birthday gift any one could ever give me! I had a chance to make our first call on my bson birthday but chickened out. I regret not calling on that day.

[barbstr]

I am happy to report one more successful reunion!!!!
Well, I got up the nerve and made the call. We cried, we talked and we laughed. It was the most emotional experience of my life. I can't explain the joy that I felt after talking with my birthmom. She was so grateful to hear from me and never registered anywhere because she didn't think I wanted to hear from her. There was so much guilt on both sides and now there is happiness. We are taking things very slowly...baby steps. We are exchanging pictures and emails until we talk again. There is no longer a mystery cloud over my head. I finally feel like a whole person.
Thank you to the Bmoms that gave me advice. This has been a long road and I wish you all the best on your searches.

[jrainbow]

Congratulations and welcome to the roller coaster of reunion. I was found over a year ago - and it has been marvelous. But even with that, it is very emotional on both sides.

My bmom isn't computer literate (she is 70) and I hestitated to send her books that I had read on reunion. I didn't want to push or try to tell her the way she should feel. So when she went thru a lot of the depression that other bmoms described, she felt even worse cuz she didn't know that it was normal. After a year, she finally confessed to me - and I wasn't even surprised - I had read it from lots of bmoms. She felt a lot better but spent months of worrying and anxiety that was unnecessary. Since your bmom is older too, and she is getting caught without all the studying that you have done, thought I would mention my experience.

Having all the questions answered is truly peace!
Best wishes

Jill

[cls2445]

What a warm fuzzy!!! I am so happy for you and your mom.
As I said earlier, my dau was 45 when she contacted me. That is a very long time to hold all those emotions inside. Take baby steps and remember we are here to offer hugs and support! Keep us posted and congratulations!!!

[elle23]

Congratulations!!

I am a bmom recently reunited with my 22 yr old bdaughter. It has only been one month today that some very persistent search angels pointed each of us towards each other, but at times it feels like years.. (I had posted my info on this site, she had posted on a another site). So far, it's been a very interesting, emotional, and awesome roller coaster but, I am constantly amazed by her and who she is as a human being and how we are not always products of our environment!

I hope that as we continue down this path together we are able to work through the 'stages' as they come..

Ellen

[katlyn]

Congratulations!!! I too am a firstmom in reunion. I made the initial effort to search and found her two yrs ago. This year I met her for the first time and talked to her for the first time in person on the very same day...so definitely baby steps. Now I'm happy to report that she is a mommy herself and I was lucky enough to visit her and my first grandbaby just last week. I am so happy to hear when other reunions turn out this way, how wonderful for both of you! Definitely keep us posted

[LasVegasMom]

ANY CONTACT, ANY DAY is welcome. If she wants to be in your life, she will welcome any contat from you regardless of the day. Hopefully she wants to be in your life, I could not imagine NOT wanting the contact. My son pretty much cold called me at work and it was the best day of my life in the 27 years since I relinquished him. Good luck, reunion is definitely a rollercoaster.

[barbstr]

Thank you for your input. I did make contact (cold call also) on my bday in fact, I met her face to face in Oct. She welcomed me with open arms as has my new family that just found out about me. Now I have two wonderful families in my life. We plan to all get together for New Years. What a great start to 2009!