[barbstr]

I am an adoptee and about to turn 41. My husband hired a PI to search for my birthmom. I just received word my birthmom is found and alive. She is 60 years old and appears to be divorced. She has a son and a daughter, neither of which are married or have kids. All have different addresses so I guess they all live on their own. My birthmom is only 4 hours from my house and 1 1/2 hours from my in-laws house. I hope to make contact soon so when I am at my in-laws, there could be a chance for a meeting. Not to mention my birthmom's brother and his family live just 8 minutes from my in-laws! I have three children who I have not explained this to since they are young but also, until I know whether or not my birthmom even wants to meet me, there's no point involving their emotions. They know I'm adopted but only the two older ones know sort of what that means. I just want to make first contact comfortable for my birthmom and for the results to be positive. I've read "The Adoption Reunion Survival Guide" so I'm trying to be the best prepared for whatever happens.

[jympmw1]

It sounds like you are on your way to a reunion and are going about it the right way. take it a step at a time and be honest and open and listen to your bmom. As far as your children I would wait but that's up to you I'm sure once you meet your bmom she will want to meet them.best wishes.

seach angel

[jrainbow]

Welcome to the roller coaster of reunion. Congratulations!!! And, it sounds like you are getting prepared as much as possible. Knowing in advance all the different possibilities and some of the emotions that people go thru will help you watch for some of the pitfalls.

I would also wait to tell my kids, until after you meet her. In my opinion, it is easier to deal with the emotions without worrying about how your children or others are dealing with them.

Be sure and keep in touch.
Good luck as you move forward.

Jill