[line9]

Hello all. I have lurked and learned much here but I believe this is my first actual post.
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After roughly 20 years of research I believe I have found my Bmom and would like your opinions on my initial contact letter. I have tried to keep it short and sweet, express compassion, inspire curiosity, given her just enough detail (I have much more) to let her know I know and express a sense of urgency (She is almost 70) Any suggestions appreciated:


Dr. Bmom (First name, middle initial, current last name),

I hope this letter finds you healthy and happy.

While you don’t know me, I believe you know of me.
While this may come as a surprise after so many years,
I hope that you have been as curious of me as I have
been of you.

Through my twenty year long search, I have strong
reason to believe that I am your son.

While I can’t possibly imagine what you were going
through at the time, I have always assumed you had
valid reasons and were truly acting in both of our best
interests at heart in choosing adoption.

Please know that although I was raised in a loving and
stable family, I have always had a hole in my heart;
yearning for that sense of origin.

It is not my intent to disrupt your life in any way, but as
time races on I would eagerly embrace any contact from
you. I have much to learn and much to share.

Warmest regards,

Full Name
Born: “Baby Boy xxxxx” (This was what my Amom (now deceased) told me I was referred to by the nurses. It is also this woman's maiden name)
Name of Hospital, City, State
Date and time of birth

[mrosey]

Wow Line9 I think your letter is warm, to the point and very well written....Send it!! Good luck to you and keep us posted. Great letter.

mrosey

[Juliana13]

Beautiful letter. I would send it.

Just out of curiosity, are you going to have it delivered, or send it via regular mail? If she does not respond, will you follow up, just to make sure she actually received and read it?

Wishing you the best of luck!

[jrainbow]

You write beautifully.
Good luck.

[Jackiejdajda]

I am 65 this month..

I say do not be afraid of her being 70.

I loved your letter.. send it..

I loved hearing my bson was okay.. It gave me incredible peace of mind..

Jackie

[eastendmommy]

Send it! I don't know of any Bmom who wouldn't want to receive that... I hope she's been waiting for this day as long as you have...surely longer! Good luck, and please keep us updated.

Hugs, Tammi

[ox62]

Very nice job. when you send it give some time for a responds back it took me a couple of mothes to get a letter back.when i did get it it was a big surprise, send it job well done line9 good luck!! ox62(mike)

[line9]

Thank you for all the kind words.

This letter has been 'under construction' since my search began so I've had plenty of time to work on it.

I'll be sending it either registered mail or FedEx. FE will obviously be more expensive but look more "official."

I also haven't decided to type it or handwrite it. My handwriting used to be quite nice but is pretty bad these days...


Thoughts?

[mrosey]

hand written - I typed my originally - then rewrote it. Maybe one or two pictures too...My birthmom really loved receiving the pic. Excited for you!

[Juliana13]

I say hand write it. Much more personal. And I would consider adding a picture as well.

And who needs it to look more "official?" You just need her to get it, and it would be nice to know she got it. So registered mail is fine. Or is it certified mail? One of them requires someone, anyone a the house to sign for it, and the other requires HER only to sign for it. I forget which is which. I'd do the one that requires HER to sign, that way there is no doubt, and you know it wasn't intercepted by anyone else. You'd hope that wouldn't be an issure, but sometimes it is.

[line9]

I've decided against the photo at least for this initial contact.

And trust me when I say my handwriting is really bad.

[aspenhall]

Also, if she has been hiding the adoption, if anyone else signs for it, it could disrupt her life.

[line9]

In my letter I've tried to address the possible disruption as best I can but most of this is just a risk I must be willing to take I suppose.

AFA; Delivery options. I've been in the shipping business almost 30 years. The only service close is US Mail "Restricted Delivery." This requires the postman to obtain her signature and hers alone.

There are ways around that as well; if she's incapacitated and authorized her husband to sign, etc.

I do have reason to believe she's been hiding the adoption so my concern is making her suspicious. I definitely want confirmation she received the letter but "Restricted Delivery" and/or an envelope marked "Personal and Confidential," etc. might just do that.

[HBTrina]

I think that your letter looks great. It is not to long and gives just information. Well done.

Why do you think that she has been hiding the adoption?

I sent pictures to both my bmom and bdad. The feedback I received was that they both liked the pictures. So just a thought for you.

Also sending the letter to make sure that she gets it is a good idea. I sent one of my letters Fed EX, personally I like that idea better than certified mail. But that is JMO.

When are you planning on sending your letter?

Good luck,

Trina

[line9]

Originally Posted by HBTrina

Why do you think that she has been hiding the adoption?

Certain inconsistencies in the non-identifying info she gave the state. (Which I understand is quite common)
The date and circumstances at the time. (Early 60's, in the middle of a divorce/out of wedlock, other siblings, etc.)

Also a response to a letter a Search Angel wrote to her on my behalf several years ago. It confirmed every detail we knew but didn't acknowledge me. The Angel's letter specificed only a search for a "relative" not an "adoptee." Unfortuntely, I lost contact with my "Angel" so I don't know what became of it.

I plan on sending it in the next few days.

I'm thinking of sending it FE with "DSR" (Direct Signature Required - which means anyone who lives at that address can sign for it.) But the actual letter will be sealed in a regular envelope marked "Personal and Confidential" inside the sealed FE Overnight Envelope. (Without the "P&C" on the outside)

I was also thinking of a small bouquet of flowers timed to arrive the same day...

Would that be overkill?