[HBTrina]

I think that flowers are a nice touch. I would think that most people like receiving flowers.

I sent flowers to my bmom after receiving a letter from her. But I never found out if she like them. My communication with her stopped at that point. But that is another story.

Let us know how it goes...

Trina

[Gwen Berndt]

Hi line9,
I think the flowers might be overkill - and it could actually cause problems for her if she needs to explain flowers to a husband (!!!) but isn't ready to share the letter with him yet. The letter will probably be pretty overwhelming for her all by itself.

I think your letter is perfect, and I hope you have wonderful results.

I wrote a letter to my bmom 5 months ago, similar to yours but with a bit more detail about my life (not too much, though) and still haven't heard anything back. It's been very hard for me to deal with not hearing back from her. I sent my letter UPS Overnight, and they left it on her front porch. I suspect she got the letter, but I don't know for sure. I wish I had sent it so that she had to sign for it. I'm tempted to write another letter, but I'm SCARED that she's going to fully reject me... *sigh*

I hope you have better luck than I've had. I know this is a really exciting time (and then some!) and I'm sorry if I sound like I'm raining on your parade. Just be aware that you might spend a long time in limbo - or you might hear from her the same day she receives the letter. Be prepared either way.

Good luck!

[line9]

Well folks, the letter went out today.

I decided against flowers.

I sent an 11x13 manila envelope US Mail, certified with return receipt.

Inside the manila envelope is the actual letter with her name on it marked "Personal and Confidential."

Wish me luck and thanks for all your support.

[Jackiejdajda]

I am saying a prayer that all will be well..

Jackie

[TxMom65]

Also saying a prayer that everything goes well and you hear from her soon.

[mrosey]

Good wishes coming your way keep us posted

[gettnhitched]

Good luck! I am also getting ready to send a contact letter (to an aunt, my birthmom is deceased) so I know what you are going through!

[L@@king2]

Good wishes Line!! Was it sent over nite? any news yet???

quote from Gwen Berndt:
I wrote a letter to my bmom 5 months ago, similar to yours but with a bit more detail about my life (not too much, though) and still haven't heard anything back. It's been very hard for me to deal with not hearing back from her. I sent my letter UPS Overnight, and they left it on her front porch. I suspect she got the letter, but I don't know for sure. I wish I had sent it so that she had to sign for it. I'm tempted to write another letter, but I'm SCARED that she's going to fully reject me... *sigh*

yes... *sign* - I know how you feel, my birth daughter has asked for no contact until she contacts me... last heard from her January 26, 2007.... I too want to write another letter to her... but she HAS asked that I not contact her again... you can see My Journal re the letter I want to send her... but am "on hold" for that... just praying and hoping that I WILL hear from her soon...

Again - Good Luck, Line!!

[Wendy645]

any word back yet???

[line9]

Not yet.

I expect to receive the return receipt back this week.

I'll definitely update you all.

Thanks again for all the support.

[L@@king2]

anxiously awaiting news...

[line9]

Well folks, I received a reply (and an extremely detailed and timely one at that) Thursday.

She is claiming another woman (whom her then separated husband) was having an affair with is the true birthmom and used her ID info at the time of Adoption.

She has amazing recall and it seems suspiscously convenient, yet her candor and openess make me wonder. She is also more than willing to answer further questions but insists "my search is over."

I'll post more once I've I have had a chance to digest the details but basically this woman is flat out denying she is the birthmom.

Due to the extent of information, I am not sure this is the proper venue and I feel I may be in need of assistance.

I just don't know at this point.

I'm more confused than ever.

[HBTrina]

Line,

I am sorry that you did not get the response that you wanted. This must be extremely confusing for you.

But is it possible that she could give the information about the other lady? Then when you were ready you could look her up. Just a thought.

Feel free to vent your feelings and frustations here. This is a great place to do that.

Going to talk with someone regarding your feelings may be a good idea. I think many people can benefit from that.

My hopes and prayers are with you.

[Gwen Berndt]

So was she saying that her separated husband is your birthfather? I'd hope she'd at least give you lots of information about him.

It does seem a little strange that someone could get away with using someone else's name when relinguishing a baby for adoption - after all, that actually has to go to court in front of a judge. That's a tiny bit suspicious...

I think after absorbing all the information she gave you, and maybe seeing if you can get the name/info of this other woman, you should keep digging for more independent info. I would, anyhow...

Good luck to you!

[gettnhitched]

Did she send you a letter or email back? Since the reply was very detailed that is a little strange since you got a reply back SO fast. It could almost mean that she has this story all made up and ready to go if she ever received contact from her child.

A social worker that has been giving me information about my case told me that in most cases the social workers take the birthmother's story as the truth and that they do not ask for an ID. Although she did state that they are "supposedly" asked to show ID to the notary when they sign the release of the child. I would still think it would be hard to get past not showing an ID at one time or another during the process.

I am sorry that you did not get the answer you were looking for and that you are more confused than ever. :bighug: